Just Lazing About |
I woke up to say goodbye to Ray this morning and decided that I wanted a lie-in. "Leave a note for Jemma to tell her to feed the dogs for me," I mumbled. I fell asleep before he'd even left the room again. I thought I slept for hours after that (even though I knew I couldn't have really cos I have a second alarm set for when I have to take my pill and that hadn't sounded). I had very vivid dreams about attending a prom, Gary Barlow was my date and was going to show up wearing red just like me. But I wasn't wearing red. And when he did turn up I couldn't actually see him. When it was time to leave loads of people started crushing towards the taxis and one guy got ran over and I heard his bones crunch. In the dream I had a panic attack. It was a very strange dream. Usually I can make out where the weird bits come from, where my subconscious has pulled them from, but with this one I'm at a loss. I'll blame it on the going back to sleep; that usually gives me weird dreams.
I wasn't up and about 'til gone ten and wasn't showered and dressed 'til twelve. Such a lazy day.
But it's raining out so I knew we wouldn't be walking the dogs (Martha refuses to walk in the rain for some reason). I haven't had a lie-in in weeks so I thought I may as well act on my impulse and have a lazy day. It feels fantastic. I've just been reading (the Bible and Wizard & Glass) and poking my head out the window to watch the rain fall. I haven't seen this much rain in ages. It smells fantastic.
I'm sure there's more to say but my mind is lazy. I don't know if I'm going to write or not today. A part of me thinks what will come will be sloppy and bad, another part of me can't keep away from the story.
So I think I'll make a cup of tea, eat a few squares of chocolate and see what happens with this grey, drizzly, lazy day :)
Labels: dreams, life, reading, weather, writing
by Ys | COMMENTS? 3 | permalink |
Rain, Visits, Brains & Stalkers |
Simon didn't end up coming to visit yesterday. He's coming over tonight instead, with Ray's mother. But we went down to see him last night anyway. It was loud and excitable and extremely overwhelming! It was fun trying to play Guess The Actress, Guess The Film with Simon, though; his memory is even worse than mine! Tonight I get to play hostess here. Trying to stop the dogs from wrecking the place is the hardest part. They like to play and in doing so usually pull the cushions off the sofa and slide the mats up the walls ;) One more day and then they can run wild again hehe.
Ray and I then spent the last part of the night curled up in bed trying to debug each other's brains. It came to me as clear as day why my mind went into meltdown. My brain related something that happened to someone else to a bad time I went through a few years ago, and it just brought back all the memories and made me go a bit insane. Isn't the mind a weird and wonderful thing? I'm glad I know what was wrong now anyway. I was trying to work out Ray's psycology. He's had a very interesting life. The things he's been through should have seen him wound up in jail or something equally as bad, but he went completely the other way. He doesn't dwell on what happened then and is happy where he is now. It's very refreshing but also a bit annoying cos then I only get the facts of what happened and not how he felt about it all. I'll break him one day ;)
I've spent this morning hiding from Steve. Remember Steve the estate agent who wouldn't give us our deposit back, then later got fired for not doing his job right? Well, he's been walking up and down our street (that's not too unusual he does live up the road a bit but we've never seen him before) a lot. Then I had to go into town on my own and I was worrying I'd bump into him and... yes, I did! But he just looked away and pretended not to see me - even though we walked right on next to each other! Hehehe. Probably thinks I'm going to kick his ass again like last time I saw him - verbally, of course; I don't believe in violence. I haven't seen him again since so maybe he'll go back home now and stop stalking me.
Ooh more exciting than any of that crap, of course, is...The Harry Potter Trailer! I cannot wait 'til November :D
Labels: estate agent, harry potter, house stuff, in-laws, life, ray, trailers, weather
by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |
It's Raining It's Pouring |
What can I say? Ray was also giddy from the rain. He loved running across the recycling car-park to get rid of the old toaster cos it meant he got absolutely drenched. Was it wrong of me to want to park up somewhere, get out and have sex in the rain? I swear, it hasn't rained properly here in ages! Don't be surprised if there was a million new babies conceived last night. That brief storm was quite electrical, or it could be like I said: everyone giddy cos there hasn't actually been any rain in ages.
On our travels we picked up some more spotty stuff for the kitchen. I got the tins I mentioned in my previous post. So everything is looking much cleaner now. I just want one more pack (there's two big tins in each pack) to put the dog stuff in now and I'll be happy. The kitchen is looking very pretty, I have to say. I'll take some pictures soon to show it off ;) I've had to make everything look sparkly and lovely for our visitor tonight. Uncle Simon is coming over, who is Ray's favourite uncle. We went to stay with him in August 2006 and had a great time. But I don't think I've actually seen him since, perhaps a flying visit here and there but nothing else. I love having visitors these days. We're having sleeping-over visitors next month and we're all - sadly - extremely excited about it ;)
Ray started playing his other new game last night - Dark Sector - which is so pretty. (So no worries of losing him to Oblivion yet, Fink, but thanks for the warning ;D) Jem and I read our books and Ray played his xbox, the dogs lazed about on the floor, and it was just a lovely, quiet time. As I said at the time: it's going to be one of those memories that I cherish when this time of my life is over. I love it when we sit there quietly together like that. No arguments, no bickering, no pouting, just all of us together as friends.
Labels: dogs, house stuff, in-laws, jem, life, ray, recycling, video, visitors, weather, xbox 360
by Ys | COMMENTS? 4 | permalink |
Sex Cures |
I am perfectly happy with how things are in my life. And I think that was one of the factors that drove me round the twist. Not meaning to sound melodramatically woe-is-me, but things didn't exactly go too well for me past the age of fourteen. It wasn't until I was twenty-one that I reclaimed my life and started actually doing what I wanted to without getting an incredible amount of grief for it. And now here I am, four years later, and I have everything (or at least the seeds of everything...) I've ever wanted. I'm totally in love with Ray who is totally in love with me in return; I have finally moved out of home and have my independence; I have one book published and am roaring through the writing of more and more every day. I am happy and content. I'm not claiming everything is perfect cos that would be a totally ridiculous thing to say. I don't have enough money (who does?), I don't have any children (yeah, still on that kick ;D); and on a more personal note I haven't yet managed to shrug away all the baggage I carry around with me. But I am working on it. There's nothing worse than people living in the past, digging up old wounds and displaying them as an excuse for this, that and the other. I'm an adult now and I believe that when you get to a certain point in your life you just accept things as they are. Of course you keep striving for more, for better, for perfection, but I think if I ever reached it my head would explode.
But anyway, I digress. My point was that I had wonderful sex in a sticky hot bedroom and it was so good that it popped whatever was loose back into place and I am myself again! (Plus I'm on Day Two of my Pill, which means calm is restoring itself to my hormones once more ;D) I went onto dream about those fleshy bits on the back of hips. Actually I think the heat is just making me horny and when I'm horny I can't be bothered to think about life and how it all works and why we do what we do ;) Hooray for the summer!
Labels: life, love, rant, ray, sex, weather
by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |
Indiana Jones Made It Rain |
At least it was dry Saturday when I went out for a girly day with Mammy and Jem. There was a little shopping (I found nothing but have decided that yellow is my favourite colour this summer), a little lunch (Jem had an egg-mayonaise sandwich and has been ill ever since), and, the highlight of the day (and the summer if you're my mother) we went to see Indiana Jones IV.
I was raised on the original trilogy, probably due to my mother's
Apart from that the weekend was literally a wash out. I had picnics and feeding-the-ducks planned but it all had to be scrapped. Sunday was spent trying to get bits and pieces together so Ray could change a tyre on the car (yes that damn car again; thsi time it wasn't the car's fault; there was a nail on the road - pop!). And Monday just never really got started. Although we did watch half of Return of the King (only half cos that film is long - great but long).
It was a nice weekend, though, weather aside. Love, films, sitting around doing not very much, reading, Lord of the Rings - and Banoffee Pie mmmm. The duck's can have their bread later in the week ;)
EDIT @ 5PM: I've updated the projects section, which is all the way down on the right-hand side of the page :)
Labels: car, films, indiana jones, jem, mammy, ray, shia labeouf, shopping, weather
by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |
Thunder Storms & Racing Hearts |
The dog was wound up all night - and I mean really wound - and I was starting to worry it was cos he was feeling ill. I was already anticipating a call to the vets in the middle of the night. Then at 11pm, as I was getting ready for bed, thunder rolled over the house. I have to say: I'm not scared of storms at all. I think they're beautiful. Usually when I'm here on my own I do feel scared, though. But this time I was quite calm. Even when my mobile phone was zapped by the storm and refused to send a message or call out. I had to haul myself out of bed and ring home just to let them know I was safe (I was midway saying goodnight when the phone died). That's when the light's started to flicker. I admit I was scared then. So I said my goodbyes and got back into bed. Would you believe it? Ten minutes later I was sleeping! The thunder had finished rolling, the lightning had stopped, and the rain was crashing down. I found it soothing. I've never fallen asleep here so easily before.
So either I'm becoming braver or else I was really tired last night. I'm going to stick with the former cos it makes me sound better ;)
The doctor's trip went fine yesterday. She delighted in telling me I was heavier than I'd hinted I might be. I honestly don't weigh myself often - I only did recently cos here where I'm working he has scales in his bathroom. Which must be wrong cos she told me I was half a stone heavier than what they did!? I doubt my clothes and shoes weigh that much more. She also commented on my racing heartbeat. I was anxious about the appointment. When she took my blood pressure she said my heart was racing. I hate people I don't know knowing that I'm freaking out. I can write it easily enough on a blog but in person I like to present myself as a very together and capable person. Stupid heart! I'm going back Monday to see a nurse to repeat my Pill prescription. Then I hope I never get ill again so I never have to see a doctor ever again in my life. Hmm... not likely to happen, is it?
Labels: doctors, dog-sitting, weather
by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |
Too Hot |
I'm still basking in the glorious May sunshine. Where did this freak sunny storm come from? It went from freezing cold to too-hot in about twenty-four hours. Last night the quilt was ripped away and the sheet pulled off it; window wide open we lay under the sheet alone and it was so lovely and cool. Why is it the sunny weather makes me so frisky? I'm tired from lack of sleep ;)
The next dog-sitting job is set for Friday when we're meant to have heavy showers. Hmm. I guess that means creepy house noises and banging of the back gate and things blowing around the garden. I think I'll be tired for different reasons come Saturday. Friday is also the day that I've got to go for a check-up at the doctor's cos I just signed up with them. That means being weighed, doesn't it? How do you explain to a doctor that you've weighed a lot since you hit puberty. That it's not fat (not too much of it anyway ;D) it's just the way your mother built you? I don't know whether doctor's believe stuff like that. She/he will just get her BMI chart out and she'll tut-tut and shake her head cos I don't fit the graph. Oh well. As long as nothing's inserted in me (is it just UK doctor's who like sticking things in you?) then I'll be a happy bunny.
I've just realised I'm talking about Friday as if it's days away when in fact it's tomorrow. Better get my bag packed soon then. Hasn't this week gone fast? It's all this heat exhaustion it's put me out of sorts. Carrying all the heavy shopping back this morning just about killed me. It is just too hot.
Labels: doctors, dog-sitting, life, sex, weather
by Ys | COMMENTS? 1 | permalink |
Is It Only Me? |
I arrived yesterday in the glorious sunshine. On the way here we had to stop in the shop to get me some food. Same thing happened as always: the older ladies in the shop give me a glaring look. They think I've snagged one of their eligible bachelors from them. Far from it. But how do I explain to an old lady stranger that I'm looking after his dog not him? Hardly seems decent to start those kinds of conversations. Within an hour of being here the sun had faded behind the clouds. I read in the garden until three and then it just got too cold. Seventeen degrees outside and I had to switch the heating on to keep warm! The house is set into the ground, almost, which means it gets no sun whatsoever so is always cold. The garden is above the house so gets all the sun and is beautiful.
The night was spent catching up on Hollywood gossip. Isn't L.A. mad? I always forget how insane it all is until I watch the E! Channel. Do people out there really beleive the crap that's said on those programmes? I saw a nanny play-acting tears at a press conference, Tom Cruise trying to act humble (if I were a casting agent I'd have laughed him out of the room), and countless stories about Lindsay Lohan. Am I the only person who doesn't really know who she is except for the boozed-up/drugged-up stories? Shockingly awful TV yet I can't switch it off. No wonder today's youth is so screwed up! ;)
I watched the second part of Flood. Hmm. The best part about that entire show was the sarcy Welsh voice-over-guy who introduced it, who said something along the lines of "London's flooded so it's huge news". Am I the only one who's noticed that the only things news-worthy these days are centred around London? The voice-over-guy obviously noticed it too ;)
This morning I was woken at 7am by manic scratching. No, I wasn't scratching - the dog was. He's peeled the wood off the front door! And eaten part of a file! But it's okay cos I was told he keeps doing it. I'll have to ask my mother if she has any ideas why an old male dog might start doing that. I reckon it's a sex thing. I think he's a randy old dog who's got too much pent-up energy. He wouldn't come back in so at 9 I went out to sit in the garden with him. It's another glorious day, only this time I think the sun is going to stick around.
So I thought I'd cool my skin off in the freezing cold house and catch up on some blogs. I'll be home in a few hours. Back to my family. I can't wait :) And it means I can have a normal night's sleep. Mind you, the worries over being burgled, raped then killed did bring on some weird dreams. I dreamt Gen and I were being rescued by religious boys.
Labels: dog-sitting, hollywood, tv, weather
by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |
Blowing Up A Storm |
Saturday was a wash out. I went out with Ray to Boots to pick something up for Jem (who was too ill to go herself). I had a voucher that offers me half-price on all Boots own health products. What I was buying was Boots own vitamins. At the till, after having my voucher swiped, the price stayed the same. I asked the woman about it and she said, full of fake smiles, that she'd ask someone if I wanted her to. I knew what that meant: I'd stand there for twenty minutes, feeling more and more ill, and then in the end they'd find a way to say it was my fault. So I just sighed at her not to bother, that I didn't even care anymore. I was perhaps a little more arsey to her than I needed to be but I was ill and in no mood for it. Boots always do that with vouchers. There's always a clause so it ends up with you usually paying more than you expected to. Grr. Once that was done I only managed one more shop before my energy levels crashed. We went back to Ray's house for a cup of tea and I nearly fell asleep so he brought me home. I hate, hate, hate not having energy.
All this being ill has meant I've watched a couple of the reality TV shows I usually always miss. I was totally impressed when Christopher Biggins won "I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here" this weekend. I was sure Janice was going to get it, which just would have been such a shame, cos, funny as she was, she just wasn't winning material. And then I'm also hooked on Strictly Come Dancing, and am of course supporting the Welsh guy Gethin Jones. Not forgetting the non-reality stuff I'm hooked on too: The Blair Years (I miss you Tony :( ) and Tudors (phwoooar). Do you know what I've learnt? That TV isn't as bad as I believed it to be.
The weekend picked up for me yesterday. There was a big wind-storm and a big slab of glass from next door's conservatory blew down our drive. Luckily no one was in the garden at the time so there were no casualties. Then in the evening Ray and I went down the harbour and ate chips. The car was rocking dangerously back and for but Ray assured me it wasn't going to tip. It didn't. And when I got home the pups were running wild in the living-room. When they got sleepy I got to cuddle them on the sofa with Ray, which was really nice and cosy.
And today is the start of a new week. The pups are being put into their new routine now, which means I have exactly ten minutes before I have to be downstairs with them. New routines usually kick the mopiness out of me so I'm hoping this week should see my mood improving. I just need some good news; that'd cheer me up immediately. Constant bad news is just not good for a person.
Oh, and expect the new layout on here very soon. I'm very close to completeing it :)
Labels: arguing, family, jem, layout, neighbours, puppies, ray, shopping, tv, weather, websites
by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |
Tattoo and Glasses |

It was still a little red then, plus I had to use my camera-phone because my digital is playing up. It's having it's zoom error problems again, which means it needs dropping on its head, again. Anyway, the tattoo is very girlie and pretty. It's the notes to a Deftones song called "Digital Bath". I think everyone was impressed by it so that's made Jemma happy.
I almost wish I was cool/girlie enough to want a tattoo. But, alas, I'm not. I just have no desire to. I am tempted with a nose-ring, though. I have said that when/if Ray gets his nipple-ring done I'll do my nose. I'm just not cool. At twenty-four years in age I have finally come to terms with that fact ;)
We did a bit of window-shopping in the afternoon. And, while I was looking through the rows of sale items in Top Shop, my favourite glasses broke. The arm has broken off at least three times before. All I have to do is screw the little screw back in. Only problem this time was that the little screw was rolling around the floor somewhere in Top Shop. I got on the floor but couldn't find it. So it was the end of my glasses. It was very sad. I bought those glasses in Liverpool in 2004 and they've been with me ever since.
So I had to buy new ones because we were having one of those freak hot weather days. I looked around the shops but the only ones they were selling were those fake designer ones (yuk) or the huge bug-eye glasses that all the celebs now wear. Believe it or not, I wanted them glasses before they became cool but didn't buy them cos I was told they were too silly-looking. Pah! I have a pair of them now, anyway. Want a really dodgy picture of me wearing them? Here you go then:

Damn camera needs fixing! I'll go drop it now and see if it fixes it.
Labels: jem, life, photos, shopping, tattoo, weather
by Ys | COMMENTS? 1 | permalink |
Buses Vs Walking Vs Driving |
So to continue the theme of exhausting one's self. Here's a meme 3x Thursday:
1. On average, about how much sleep do you get in a night? Is it enough for you? Why/why not?
I sleep about eight hours a night, but it's always disturbed between six and eight o'clock by barking Pugs outside my window. So I usually wake up feeling tired. I find there's never enough sleep for my body, though.
2. Do you notice a difference in things when you don't get enough sleep for a period of time? What happens?
Oh Lord yes! I find everything frustrating and annoying when I'm tired. I also can't talk very well because I'm toot tired to remember the words. And I usually get pounding headaches, as well.3. Generally when you sleep, do you sleep well? Why/why not?
When I go to sleep, I go out like a light. I am then known to sit up and shout at whoever else is in the room but I don't remember these times. I sleep right through then until the Pugs wake me up with their on/off barking (mother, put them back in the house already!).
Now, in all the excitement of the birthday meal and new clothes, I forgot to say that my younger sister passed her driving test Monday. Yes, she is now officially on the road - so be careful of her! ;) Hehehe, only kidding; I'm told she's very good. I'm a nervous passenger so I thought I'd better keep out of the car for now but I have said I'll go for a spin with her soon. Of course, rather worryingly, my father, having to be completely over the top, has now pretty much given up his car to her. Given up his own car to his eighteen-year-old daughter who doesn't have a job to pay for the car, the car that he has paid the insurance on, the tax, the MOT costs, and all the petrol that goes into it. Sometimes I wonder whether my parents are aware of the things they do. Hey, as long as she has that car when I need a lift somewhere I'm not even going to ask them about their decision ;) Well done, Amb! Be careful, okay?.
And, no, this does not mean I'm going to get the pull to learn to drive now. Every time I got the urge before we ended up crashing in Ray's car, so I've decided to heed God's advice and just stay as a nervous passenger, rather than a nervous driver. Too much power for me; it scares the crap out of me! I'm such a wimp.
Ooh, lookit that: the sun's out again! I might get some sunbathing done before lunch...
Labels: amber, daddy, doctors, driving, jem, mammy, meme, pugs, ray, walking, weather
by Ys | COMMENTS? 3 | permalink |
Watching Films and Burning in the Sun |
The second film was Pans Labyrinth which was much more fantasy - and much more violent. I really enjoyed it. I love the proper fantasy tales, especially when they're interwoven with such brutal reality. Plus the fantasy characters looked creepy as hell and very, very pretty as well.
I also ended up watching Jaws 2. I watched Jaws the week before just by chance; and just by chance this week the film finished in time for me to watch the second installment. Now the first "Jaws" film is still scary - silly but scary. The second one isn't scary at all. And why are there so many screaming girls?
I burnt my shoulders and arms in the rare sunshine on Sunday morning. I never ever burn so this was quite a surprise, especially considering I was often going to sit in the shade of the stable so I wasn't in direct sun that much. Plus, like I said, I never burn. In the afternoon Ray took me for an ice-cream, but we ended up in Pizza Hut eating bonoffi pie instead ;)
Burns aside, the sun is fun. And it's made my plants in the shed shoot up! I'll have to get some pictures of them soon.
by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |
Whatever |
But I might be getting to see Amy Winehouse, if I'm lucky.
Bleurgh.
I wish it would stop raining.
Labels: amy winehouse, gigs, life, weather
by Ys | COMMENTS? 1 | permalink |
Warming Up |
Other news? I've started reading The Tommyknockers by Stephen King. The film terrified me when I was a child so I always enjoy reading the book. I've read it a couple of times before but I now own the book myself - thanks to the love of a bookstall man in the market who always makes Ray buy me books. This one I got for free - a two-for-one type deal he always gives us. I might marry the bookstall man, actually...
Other than a raging temperature, which is there one second and gone the next, all that's really going on around here is some really unusual glimpses of the sun. I'd almost beleive it was summer...
Labels: books, illness, life, weather
by Ys | COMMENTS? 1 | permalink |
Sun, Photos, Houses and Tennis |

I got to wear a dress, which I haven't been able to do in over a month now. And I saw actual stars in the sky last night - I'd forgotten what they looked like. I'm not expecting the sun to last (the weatherman keeps telling me rain is on its way again) but I'm making the most of it while it's here.
Such as watching Ray and Daddy building a shed - I love watching man's work from the comfort of my own reclining garden chair.

Sweepie had a dance with Grandma...

Then, while her daddy had a break from shed-building, she gave him lots of snotty-nosed Pug kisses:

She soon got distracted by the Evil Next Door Neighbour and decided to just sit and purse her lips in a threatening way, not daring to start yapping because she knew I'd tell her off.

We had our usual Shitty Sunday Dinner down the other end of the Woodland Park yesterday. This time we had a McDonalds Spicy Veggie Sandwich (bottom of the page), which tasted, quite frankly, like crap. Not a fan at all. It made me feel very sick. But because it was sunny we were able to get out of the car and sit on one of the many benches. And I made a new friend - a grasshopper:

Aside from enjoying the sun, we also went into town and had a look around the estate agents - most of them were shut (why do shops shut so damn early on a Saturday?) so we were only able to point at images in the window or else stare lustfully at their properties list which were teasing us from behind a locked door. We did have two property list's given to us and we went for a drink in a bar to look over them. One of them had all the payment information in the back and we now know for sure that we'll need about £900/1000 upfront. It's nice to have the actual figures now cos it means I can finance things better - I like knowing all the figures. It's an expensive job, renting; if only we had a few hundred thousand lying around, we could just buy then and cut out the middle man who's making all this money off us.

But money's money and who really gives a shit about where it goes? It's all going to end up spent in the end anyway. We bought a photo-album as well cos we've got about 250 photos getting developed at the moment that'll need a home. I cannot wait to put all the photos and bits and bobs in and add all the little blurbs. The photos haven't arrived yet, though, so I have to be patient.
Oh! And the tennis ended. Roger Federer won. No big surprise there. I missed the match (too busy enjoying the sun) but caught the bit at the end where he was being interviewed. Nadal should have won. What am I going to do without Wimbledon playing in the background when I write now?
Labels: life, moving out, photos, sweepie, tennis, weather
by Ys | COMMENTS? 1 | permalink |
Rugby, Videos, Crazy Weather |

No, not that rugby match. It was local rugby - which isn't nearly as homoerotic. The boys won again. So I guess that proves that coke and rugby do indeed go hand in hand.
I've got The Used's new single on repeat at the moment. I love it! Great video as well >> go and watch it NOW! ;) I also quite like the new Fightstar song, too 99 (not so good video, though). So a few new songs out that I can't download. Oh well. They'll all be released in the UK before long. 'Til then I'll have to make do with the videos when I'm online. I'm seeing The Used on Wednesday so I'm very excited cos not only is Bert hot but I get to hear all the new stuff live :D
The weather's gone nuts again. It was boiling all weekend. Now it's really sunny but massively windy at the same time. And there was the earthquake in Kent, which was much bigger than the one that hit us two years ago. Crazy weather.
I'm sleepy today. Too much sun and BBQ. Next post: The Used squee.
Labels: fightstar, music, rugby, the used, weather
by Ys | COMMENTS? 0 | permalink |
Snowed In! |

by Ys | COMMENTS? 0 | permalink |
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