Computers & The Past

It's just taken my spanking new computer (okay, he's five months old, so maybe he's not spanking anymore...) about three hours to put 1.3GB of photos onto a DVD-disc capable of holding 4.7GB. I don't think it should have taken that long. So I think it must have been my technique. Maybe copy-and-pasting isn't the way to go when using Vista. It doesn't matter now cos my pictures are backed up and so if I accidently delete them (yes, I admit, I lost about six pictures the other day when I put the wrong files in the wrong folder and wrote over the existing pictures...) it won't matter.

This morning I powered up my parents' old computer, which they lent me so that I could get some work off floppy discs. New computers don't have floppy drives so when I found out my memory stick wasn't holding two of my larger novels I panicked about how I was going to retrieve them. Then I remembered my parents still had an old computer knocking about. I found a love-note to Ray on one of the discs that I for some reason hadn't given him. After reading it, I printed it out and am leaving it on the bed for him to find when he gets home from work. I hope it will make up for what happened last night, and help to explain my feelings for him and that as much as they are a work-in-progress, just look at the mess I got myself into when the feelings were instant. Last night was tough for us both. I wish the past could remain buried so that I could enjoy my present and future. Unfortunately life doesn't work out that way.

Good past reared its head a couple of weeks ago. It's taken me this long to mention it because I wasn't sure if it was sticking around. A girl I used to be best friend's with between the ages of three and eleven found me online and we've been coresponding via email for a few weeks. It seems we've lived nearly identical lives. We're going to meet up later this month and I have high hopes. You see, the past doesn't always have to mean badness. That's something I'm learning.

Labels: daddy, friends, laptop, life, love, mammy, photos, ray

by Ys | COMMENTS? 1 | permalink |  

New Blog, Tired Days, Maybe Gigs, Winning

I opened the new blog yesterday. Don't worry, it's not a move or a close-down of this one in any way. It's just that Madge is due to have her puppies in a couple of weeks and I'd like to document the event online this time, so that when people buy the pups they can click online and see them when they were born and in the weeks that followed. Plus it'd be really nice for me to have, as well, considering I'm doing most of the work - work? It doesn't feel like work at all :) In the next few posts I'll be adding pictures of Madge in her late stages of pregnancy, plus Sweepie and Falls to show how pretty her babies can be. If you want to keep up to date with my motherhood job then the link is in the sidebar <<<

I had a quiet night in last night. Actually yesterday was a complete washout. I just couldn't seem to get anything done - at all. It took me most of the day to get the new layout up for the new blog - I was just crap at everything. By the time five o'clock rolled by my brain decided to wake up. I'm feeling much more awake today.

Tomorrow I'm meant to be seeing Fightstar. I say meant to because Charlie has a bad throat and has already cancelled one of the gigs of the tour. But they played last night so I think he might be on the mend now. There's another gig tonight and then it's my turn. I have a feeling we're going to get down to the venue only to find its been postponed, which will really be a waste of a day and night. Plus they can't cancel because I only have a couple of weeks left until I'm on full-time Puppy Mode and gigging will be off the menu for the first few weeks after the birth. I've only had one gig postponed before - having found out on the night of the gig, I mean; obviously I've had gigs postponed a good few weeks in advance. That was The Deftones earlier this year. If Charlie just learnt how to scream properly he wouldn't hurt his throat so often. I think Bert needs to give him some lessons ;)

My argument with PC World paid off, by the way. I found a lovely new email from them yesterday morning explaining how there might be less space showing up on my hard-drive. All sounds dodgy to me. I just reckon they gave me a laptop that didn't have the right space on it. I won the argument, anyway, so I'm very smug. You see how to get things done now - threaten people with reporting them to their seniors! It works every single time. The funny thing is I wouldn't have reported them at all; I just hate to lose.

Labels: blogging, fightstar, laptop, life, pioden, puppies, the used

by Ys | COMMENTS? 3 | permalink |  

Good Week, Good Nights, Good Arguments

This week has been one of those weeks that starts out really crappy but ends up being one of the best of the year so far. Yes, there is hope for a better mood in this weird season-changing atmosphere we find ourselves in.

Best of all is that my anxiety levels have calmed down to almost nothing again, which is such a relief because I was starting to get a little worried about myself. I've always been a bit of a nervous person but when it comes down to it I usually face that fear and deal with it just fine. Lately I just wanted to run away and hide, usually with tears streaming down my face. Thankfully, all that weak stuff that I hate hate hate has all but disappeared. I can't say I have the answer to the cure. I don't know what fixed me. I'm just enjoying it.

It probably helped that I was out every night of this week, doing things I love doing. Lately all I've been doing is hanging around the place, doing a little of this and a little of that, but not actually very much. I haven't been overly bored or anything but I think deep down it was turning me into a shy bunny again. Hence the anxiety. It wasn't my plan to go out every night; that's just how it turned out.

Monday I was at the in-laws, Tuesday I was at the new pub with Ray and Jemma playing pool and sitting in people's seats (every time I go there I seem to be sitting in some regular's seat). Wednesday I went down the local pub to check-in on the all the latest news and scandal. Thursday I was, of course, at the Editors gig. Friday I actually stayed in - and oh boy was that a good decision ;) Saturday I went out again and I got very nicely drunk. There were some rather sluttish girls making moves on Ray whenever I went to the loo but they weren't really very threatening, considering I know who they are and so does Ray and that we both see them as very young girls so their behaviour was more annoying than upsetting. Being drunk was so nice. I haven't had a proper drink in about five months!

There's some kind of drama going on at home but no one's talking about it - figures. So I'm sitting back and waiting for the fireworks to fly. Usually I try and shield but this time I'm not even going to bother cos I fear that's just making the situation continue. It's really making me long to move out so that the family politics stuff is no longer a day-to-day reality. Plus the super nice week, the loved-up feelings I have for Ray, the I'm-too-old-to-still-be-living-with-my-parents situation - I just can't wait to move out. I have to be patient, though. We can't go until early next year. Humph.

I have also completed Halo 3 on Easy - it was indeed very easy. I'm moving onto Normal mode now, which should be a little more challenging. We're all in agreement that the "everything is done now" ending is very lame - Goddamn you, Cortana ;)

And I've just had a full-on argument with PC World. My advice: don't buy from them. They didn't try to help me at all (even though they have sold me a computer that has 14GB less space than what I paid for!) and it took me to get really shirty with them to get them to suddenly magic up an idea as to where the space may be. They said my tone and language were not helpful (or something) so I pointed out it was only that tone and language that got them off their lazy asses to do anything to help. My "language" was the use of the words bloody and pissed off, hardly shocking language in my world. I told them I had their names and the emails and will be contacting their supervisors mwah-ha-ha-ha. No idea where my 14GB has gone, though. They reckon Windows reads MB and KB differently but it still clearly says I only have 106GB whereas I paid for 120GB. Ooh I do love a good argument. Bring it on! I'm enjoying this so, so much.

Labels: drinking, halo, laptop, life, moving out, ray

by Ys | COMMENTS? 3 | permalink |  

Meet MasterChief (The Machine)

Want to see the new man in my life?

Advent 7208





Isn't he gorgeous? Those stickers on the sides are off now - I peeled them off after the picture was taken - typical!

I'm looking for a guidebook thingy for it now cos I wasn't given one for some reason. I'll download it from the site in a minute. The only problem I have with it is it runs Word Processor not Word so my documents keep wanting to save in .wps whereas they're usually in .doc. I guess the new extension isn't going to do them any harm. Changing them to .doc to send to others isn't exactly much work.

Hmm, my lovely new laptop. I can't leave him alone!

Labels: laptop, photos

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New Post New Toys

I made a post earlier but have scrapped it. It wasn't that interesting and other stuff has happened to make it pointless.

My new laptop has arrived!

Yesterday I had some trouble with my baby (the 560x laptop). It crashed right after I'd saved my writing for that day. Then when I tried to restart it it would come on, load everything and then just sit there and creak and groan at me. I tried and tried but every restart proved the same results. So I put it away, vowing a rest would do it some good but knowing I wouldn't be able to write again until the new laptop arrived. That could have been another week away so I was starting to panic a little - that pre-panic-attack-I-have-to-write feeling.

Thankfully, when I checked on the status of the new laptop this morning it said it was Out for Delivery. So no need to panic - the laptop was arriving today. Which it did. A shaven-headed man delivered the huge box to me, making me wonder if the laptop I'd ordered was in fact far too big. But, no, that wasn't the case - it just had a lot of packaging protecting it.

I've unwrapped it, moved my work from the main family computer onto here and added a few internet favourites - as well as customising the shit out of it! He is a male laptop and has been christened MasterChief (all one word). He's a hottie. Very slick in his grey colours and black keyboard. I'll get some photos of him later once my batteries have recharged (they may have melted by now actually...).

I had to leave MasterChief this afternoon, though, to accompany Jem to the private dentist. She was having a wisdom tooth removed. Sounds simple enough. But nothing is ever simple with any one of us. Most of the tooth came out but there was some problems with her roots - too long apparently and so one had to be left in fear of damaging her nerve. Yikes. It sounded pretty gross and weirdly I knew something wasn't right. I sat on the edge of the chair flicking through a magazine, wondering how I could persuade Mammy to barge into the room and go check on her. I was pretty pissed with the people there. Maybe it wasn't their fault but they were the ones doing the extracting so I'm happy to blame them. She's asleep beside me now, ocassionaly waking to tell me that it's bleeding.

It's been one of those peculiar days today. I didn't eat lunch 'til an hour ago, I've barely seen Sweepie, I've been shaking with excitement over MasterChief (yes, I'm that sad) and then churning with dread over Jemma's tooth adventures. I hope Ray doesn't come home with any bad news.

Labels: dentist, jem, laptop, life

by Ys | COMMENTS? 1 | permalink |  

History Repeats

I've spent the weekend curled up in or on my bed. No, it wasn't cos of kinky things.

Ten years ago I got terrible pains down my right-hand side. I vomited a little but the doctor just sent me away with painkillers. A month later it came back and this time a new doctor sent me to hospital with suspected appendicitis. It was quickly decided that wasn't the case and I was sent for a scan. Turns out I had cysts growing on my right ovary, they'd spun and pretty much screwed up a lot inside. Two months later I had an operation. They tried to save my ovary - I was only fourteen at the time so they tried to keep it. I went home feeling sore and old and tired but at least no longer worrying about cysts.

A year later I was back in hospital. The cysts had returned. So this time they took out my ovary (which was dead anyway) and then sent me on my way again.

Everything's been fine since then, apart from very painful and heavy periods (which is to be expected after my body's ordeal). Last month I had period pain that lasted forty-eight hours - non-stop. This month the pain in my right-hand side returned. And it stayed for forty-eight hours.

I've discussed it with my mother and she agrees that I shouldn't have more cysts on my right-hand side because the ovary that was making the cysts is no longer there. So it's possible but not very probable. She wondered if maybe it was scar-tissue giving me problems. Strange it suddenly starts acting up now, though. We ruled out pregnancy because of the heavy period and the heavy periods that have come every month before then. We wondered about a muscle pull, what with the pain feeling like a contraction, we knew it had to be muscle-related. But, as of yet, none of us can decide what's wrong with me. The female doctor isn't in 'til Thursday so I'll have to wait 'til then to see what she says. But this is the doctor that said there was nothing wrong with me the first time so I know I'm going to have to push her into sending me for a scan other wise she'll just tell me it's just period pain - which I know it's not.

So in between rolling around in pain, I got the house cleaned up in time for Mammy and Daddy's return from South Africa. I missed their return because I was in bed (it was 1:30am) but did get up at 7:30 the next morning to talk to them about it all. It sounds like an amazing holiday. Elephants and lions and giraffes; the pictures of the landscape are amazing. I'm quite jealous. The house is a mess again now, as we knew it would be after a return from a holiday, so I think I'll clean again today been as the pain has gone.

No word on when my laptop's coming yet. The last email I got said they were starting to process my order... Hurry up PC World!

Labels: daddy, doctors, holidays, hospital, illness, laptop, mammy, operations

by Ys | COMMENTS? 1 | permalink |  

Make Up's & Break Up's

Ray and I did make up again. He'd been weird all week and then on Tuesday night it sounded to me like he was trying to dump me but getting me to say the words. The fact that I've always been very comfortable and confident of his love for me really did throw me for a loop when he said what he did Tuesday. He didn't mean it, of course, I later found out. He just has a way of saying the wrong thing - a lot. He was very apologetic Wednesday evening when he got back after work. He sounded very mature, not once trying to find himself an excuse for his behaviour, just admitted he'd been a dick and that he took me for granted and wasn't going to do it anymore. I was very surprised considering I was imagining all day that he'd show up and say it was over. Phew.

Things aren't 100% between us but they're definitely nearly perfect again. Which I much prefer cos all this upset and drama just isn't what I'm comfortable with. It makes my stomach hurt too much.

I now have another problem: my laptop. At the moment I still have my dinasour of a laptop, my baby, which was my first, which I had in 2004: IBM 560x. It's been poorly for about a year but I can cope with slow start-ups considering all I use it for is writing. But these past couple of days the screens been blanking out on me. The first time I lost about half a page of writing (could have been a lot worse, thankfully I'm a serial saver), the second I'd opened my diary but hadn't written anything. I fear when it goes for the third time it might not start again. Well, it's not so much the machine but the screen that's blinking out - the laptop itself is still running but without any image. I can't do much with that, and what with the other problems it has I decided it was time for a new laptop.

Here lies the problem: I have no cash on me at the moment. When Madge has her babies (going by the shape of her I'd say she is pregnant - we have to wait for Mammy to get back from holiday for a vet-check) I will have a cut of the money because I am Nanny Ysabel and do all the work. I always said I'd get a laptop with the money. But that money won't come to me 'til early next year. I need the laptop now. Ray has offered to buy me it (he's been offering since about this time last year) and says he'll have the money in the bank next week once his cheques have cleared. Other wise I ask Mammy if she'll get it and then knock that money off what I'd be getting for my puppy raising. With Mammy I fear there might be interest added on, so I'll probably take Ray up on his offer.

I've found a laptop I want: C Series, but it's too expensive. So my second choice is this baby: Advent 7208. As you can see, the second one is only on sale for five more days so I'd have to get in there quick for that. I do have a plan of action. I'm not sure if it'll work. But I'm hoping to have a new laptop by the end of the weekend so I can finish my book without losing any of the information.

Ahh life is an expensive thing, isn't it? Being a poor, unappreciated writer I can't really afford all this spending. But at least I should have babies to take care from Novemeber onwards. I am so excited about that :)

EDIT: I bought the laptop. Ray will pay for it until the puppies come in December. It'll be here by the end of next week! Woo!

Labels: laptop, madge, puppies, ray

by Ys | COMMENTS? 1 | permalink |  

Hard-Drive Controllers and Pug Harassment

I'm back home again. I don't realise just how much I take all my quick links on here for granted. When I'm away the computer's I use are not personlised by me so they don't have Blogger running along the top bar, neither do they have the websites I like to go to when I'm bored. Not that I had much time to get bored. I spent most of yesterday trying to figure out what was wrong with my laptop.

I've had a bright yellow exclamation point (that was getting brighter every day, in my opinion) next to my hard-drive controller's for the last few months. From the noises the machine was making I assumed it was dying. But as my post last week said it was on the mend. Sort of. I still needed to sort out whatever the problem was. So I searched online and found some places that catered for my problem. The few downloads I tried weren't suited to my OS. And the one I found that would was too big for the floppy disk I had. So I saved the links for when I got home and was able to use a CD to transport my data from computer to laptop.

While I was at it, I thought I'd run a full systems check, which I had been reliably told could be done by holding the F2 button down on start up. Turns out they were right. And there were these cute little icons for all the different system checks the laptop could do. Everything was fine with the machine except for the HDD, whatever the heck that is. I've got the error message written down somewhere but a search on Google didn't throw up any help.

Weirdly, when I checked the hard-drive controller's again the yellow exclamation point had disappeared! So has the laptop somehow cured itself? Who knows! I'll keep an eye on it and see what happens next.

Zebbie was a bundle of laughs this time. All he did was nick the sofa and sleep there the entire time. I swear he only likes me baby-sitting because it means he gets to spend two or three days on the sofa!





I watched a fair bit of the E! Channel this time. I'm just so addicted to trashy TV. House of Carters is so disturbing. I thought my family was fucked up. At least my parents never referred to me as Cash Cow. Poor little Aaron.



For the record I didn't watch The Girls of the Playboy Mansion; that was just an advertisment. Although I freely admit if it had have been on while I was there I probably would have watched it.

I got home this afternoon and had a cup of coffee. The last mug I had was about two months ago so that was one hell of a nice cup. Mmm. I could feel all my nerves tingling. Yum. I took Sweepie upstairs with me cos I'd missed her. She just went to sleep though. So after an hour me and Jem woke her up and made her play games.









This evening I then went to see the in-laws, who I haven't seen in a couple of weeks. Because I was worried about my lingering chest infection, I made the choice that I'd try to stay indoors until my course of penicillin had ended.

I took a load of pictures while Ray was driving. I'm a little obsessed with the blurry lights. I think I might have to set up a mini-photo-album on here for my silly photos.



Talking about my chest infection: I do seem to be better. It only took three different, super strong penicillin and antibiotics courses to beat it but I got there in the end. I'd say I'm 90% better now. Why didn't the doctor threaten me with x-rays sooner?

I end with a pretty picture of Martha, who blurred before my eyes (I was actually playing with the settings on my camera and thought this picture turned out really pretty):

Labels: coffee, dog-sitting, illness, laptop, martha, photos, sweepie

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Missing Jumper, Healing Laptop

I lost my favourite vest-top/jumper this morning. I was a little confused as to where it could have gone because the last time I wore it was about two weeks ago. After checking through my cupboard, the pile of clothes I always leave on my chair and my chest of drawers, I decided to look in the only other place it might be. Sometimes my mother "accidently" puts other people's clothes in my younger sister's room. She doesn't actually but she says it's her fault if other people's clothes are found in my little sister's room. Unless she's on one of her kicks, and then the little sister is called a thief and all that nonesense. When I went into the room my little sister was in there. I told her what I was looking for but she said she hadn't seen it. Okay, yes, she often lies so I thought I'd better check myself. But she was on the phone (to her boyfriend, I think) and my presence in the room was suddenly a great discomfort. You'd swear she was making a deal of some kind to her pimp or drug dealer the way she carried on. Anyway, I didn't find the jumper. Didn't mean it wasn't in there, of course, just that I hadn't been quite brave enough to go through all the many layers of clothes that act as a carpet. You never quite know what you're going to find in there - old food gone green, etc. I went back into my room, began combing through my wet hair, panicking, wondering what the hell I could have done with my top. When I looked down and found it. Scrumbled up on the floor at the end of my bed. Then I remembered when I'd last worn it. And when it had quite quickly been taken off again, discarded on the floor and forgotten all about. So, panic over: the top has been found and the memory really made me smile.

Then I received a spectactularly nice letter from a publisher. I'd sent them some chapters of my book Soul Mates I: The Path To Destruction about two months ago. I hadn't heard anything back from them and so I assumed it was another no. Well, it was a no but it was a positive one. The lady said she totally agreed with me that there was a big market for such a story, she said she thought the story was good, that it was well-paced and she enjoyed it. Unfortunately the book was too big for their company because they only have about five books a year. My book too big a challenge! I was quite impressed with that. It was a no and I don't like the endless rejection letters you get - you know the deal: publisher's won't read your work unless you have an agent, an agent won't read your work unless you have a publisher - but it was very inspiring all the same. It really did make me smile. A lot.

And just last night I found out that my laptop wasn't quite as dead as I first thought. Yes, it is clearly not as good as it once was, but it may not be yet dying so quickly. Turns out the battery is upsetting it. So all I need is a new battery. What with Christmas round the corner I am quietly confident my baby will be back in full working order by January. Until then I've taken the battery out and am using it totally on mains power.

All this smiling really did cheer me up. Because yesterday I went back to see the doctor and she said that there is absolutely no reason why a girl my age, as a non-smoker, I should still have this chest infection. And she said if this new course of medicine doesn't work she's going to send me for chest x-rays! And a visit to the Asthma Clinic. I'm a little scared by the x-ray possibility, especially considering last time I was anywhere near a hospital I ended up moving in.

The only bad thing to have happened this morning actually is that my parents' male dog pissed on my bed! Thankfully, it wasn't all over the quilt (I have no idea how I'd have cleaned that up); he aimed it on the knitted blanket my Gran made. Even more annoying than that was my father's reaction: that it was my fault. I'm tempted to go and piss on my father's bed and see how he likes it...

Labels: dogs, family, illness, laptop, writing

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