I think I may be all blogged out this week. There's not much to talk about...

There's been a trip home to see my parents. There's a dress I want to link to but I haven't got the code for it and I can't find it on the website. It's a strapless wonder at the moment but because it slips down when I raise my arms (don't all strapless dresses do that? So why make them the new in-thing?) I need some straps for it. My mother had a brainwave: use the belt/ribbon that comes with the dress to fashion some straps. So it's at home at the moment waiting for AmberMammy to work her magic. It's extremely pretty. It was a present from Mammy for the wedding-nuptials we're going to in a couple of weeks. Not my wedding nuptials. It's a renewing-the-vows type of thing. It's also an excuse for me to show off Ray to my mother's side of the family. A couple of them have met him already but quite a few haven't. I get to be proud girlfriend for the night :) There's also been a lot of writing this week.

Last night there were some chippie-chips. Jem takes Martha to the groomers every six weeks and it always falls on a Thursday - Shop Day. Because I cannot be bothered to cook again Ray and I always have chippie-chips as a treat. It's this one weird evening every six weeks where it's just me, Ray and Sweepie. We always take Sweepie with us to get the chips and it's just this tantalising taste of what's to come in a few years time. It's great that I can get a taste of things to come and that I like how it tastes. The chips tasted damn fine, too ;)

Today there was badminton - I'm still the champion ;) There will be the Olympics in an hour. And The Tudors this evening. The weekend? I have no idea yet. I think there's some window-shopping with Mammy tomorrow; visits to the families on Sunday; in between hasn't been decided yet. I like it when there's a whole weekend stretching out in front of me like this with very little planned. In fact Friday afternoon/evening is probably my favourite part of the weekend: because there's so much to come and Monday feels like it's weeks away.

Enjoy your Friday, Saturday and Sunday :)

Labels: amber, badminton, blogging, family, in-laws, jem, life, mammy, ray, shopping, the tudors, writing

by Ys | COMMENTS? 4 | permalink |

It rained last night! We were meant to have a storm but that turned out to be just some heavy rain (that lasted all of ten minutes!), a couple of rumbles of thunder and one bolt of lightning. Of course, we went recycling when it started up so had a wonderful view of all the clouds as we drove right into the so-called storm. I haven't felt so giddy over rain in years. It feels like ages since it last rained.



What can I say? Ray was also giddy from the rain. He loved running across the recycling car-park to get rid of the old toaster cos it meant he got absolutely drenched. Was it wrong of me to want to park up somewhere, get out and have sex in the rain? I swear, it hasn't rained properly here in ages! Don't be surprised if there was a million new babies conceived last night. That brief storm was quite electrical, or it could be like I said: everyone giddy cos there hasn't actually been any rain in ages.

On our travels we picked up some more spotty stuff for the kitchen. I got the tins I mentioned in my previous post. So everything is looking much cleaner now. I just want one more pack (there's two big tins in each pack) to put the dog stuff in now and I'll be happy. The kitchen is looking very pretty, I have to say. I'll take some pictures soon to show it off ;) I've had to make everything look sparkly and lovely for our visitor tonight. Uncle Simon is coming over, who is Ray's favourite uncle. We went to stay with him in August 2006 and had a great time. But I don't think I've actually seen him since, perhaps a flying visit here and there but nothing else. I love having visitors these days. We're having sleeping-over visitors next month and we're all - sadly - extremely excited about it ;)

Ray started playing his other new game last night - Dark Sector - which is so pretty. (So no worries of losing him to Oblivion yet, Fink, but thanks for the warning ;D) Jem and I read our books and Ray played his xbox, the dogs lazed about on the floor, and it was just a lovely, quiet time. As I said at the time: it's going to be one of those memories that I cherish when this time of my life is over. I love it when we sit there quietly together like that. No arguments, no bickering, no pouting, just all of us together as friends.

Labels: dogs, house stuff, in-laws, jem, life, ray, recycling, video, visitors, weather, xbox 360

by Ys | COMMENTS? 4 | permalink |

Through my nostaligia, my recent obsession with thinking back and pondering over those things I just couldn't quite understand at the time, I've made some realisations. About others in my life, and about myself.

The other day I wrote this and I got a reaction from Jem that I wasn't expecting. She asked if I'd written it to get at her cos she'd said she didn't like where the characters were heading (long-story-short: I gave her an unfinished novel based in "Olimpia Valley" to read, which took the characters somewhere very dark; I'd already told her she wouldn't like it so wasn't surprised when she said she didn't). It threw me. Because when I'd written the entry I'd actually been thinking about something Stephen King had written and I'd read by chance when I was a bit bored. It was at the beginning of one of the "Dark Tower" books (the recent editions) where he said that he always loved returning to the "Dark Tower" world and that it was a place he always found easy to fall back into. He mentioned how the only other world that took him so strongly was "The Stand" (which, incidently, I haven't read and therefore did not know was based in a post-apocalyptic world). So my thoughts went simply this like: How weird he has an olde worlde world and a post-apocalyptic world just like me with "Soul Mates" and "Olimpia Valley". I wrote that afternoon and the words just tumbled out and I was so high on the writing, so high on the characters; and I realised I was living vicariously through those characters; how in another life I might have made the same choices they do/did. So I wrote that entry but simplified it and just summed it up in a few words.

My thinking afterwards was how easily we misinterpret things that people say and do and automatically twist them around to fit into what we're thinking. We all do it. I know I do. I like to think I can project myself into other people's thoughts (being a writer I have to have that ability to some point other wise how would I write about people I didn't particularly agree with) but I often put my own thoughts on top and come to the wrong conclusion.

This led me onto a sudden understanding. That when a certain family member turned against me and tried to turn my mother against me in the process, it wasn't anything to do with the fact that I was in whatever form playing Mother to Amber. This woman had an issue with the fact that I was getting on so well with my father. This woman tried to turn my mother against me because of her own issues over her jealousy that her daughter and husband had always been close, that her daughter had chosen her father over her mother (her). All these years I believed it was because of Amber, because I rallied us three girls (sisters) together and wouldn't let a single one of us crumble under the pressure. I thought this woman thought I was in someway disprespecting Mammy and her parenting skills by coping while Mammy was away.

It was a nice realisation in a way. It was nice to be able to step back eight years later and be able to see things with fresh eyes, with emotions that aren't tainted by grief and anger. I've always found it amazing how wrong people can get things, how we all assume this that and the other and how nine times out of ten we're way off the mark. I've always said, "You never know what's going on behind closed doors," because it's true. The face people show you is not always the true one. Not in a dishonest way, just that we don't all run around showing the things that have scarred us (I know I don't anyway) and so how can you tell whether what one person thinks happened is actually fact?

I've always been fascinated with the psychology of the human mind. I think maybe I missed my calling ... ;)

Labels: amber, daddy, jem, life, mammy, rant, writing

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |

I went back home to see my parents last night. And I felt extremely homesick when I was there and when I had to leave. I haven't felt homesickness like that since moving here.

I just felt myself starting to miss my old life. Talking to Daddy about rugby, laughing with Mammy over pretty much everything, being more than just a big sister to Amber. I missed the safe, quiet, homely feel I used to have in that house. It doesn't feel like home anymore. I adapt too quickly to change. I move on and accept that whereever I am, for however long I am there, is my new safe place, my new home. I'm the same when we go visiting other people. I adapt to their houses and find I never want to leave (unless it's truly awful and then I'm bolting for the door ;D). Well, last night all that adapting broke down and I just wanted to stay at home and be young and free and silly again. Not that I was that way very much when I lived there. I couldn't wait to get out, in fact. I suppose it's always the same. Growing up isn't always fun.

I've been jealous a lot this last week, too. Over stupid things, things that either can't be changed or don't even matter anyway. Like last night I was jealous that I no longer lived at home; I was jealous that Amber wasn't mine anymore; I was jealous that Daddy talks so much more to Ray than me these days (man chats about nails and roofs and stuff I don't understand); jealous that Mammy was going to the cinema with her friend without me. But I've also been jealous of how pretty Jemma is; how independent Hannah is; how strong Sarah has always been. I'm even jealous of all of Ray's aunts and uncles because they have such adorable children! I blame all of this insane girlie stupidity on my raging hormones. I'm expecting everything to calm the hell down again from today onwards because today at 9:40am I broke open a new satchet. I am officially back on the Pill again :)

Through my moping and insanity, I decided to buy Ray just one more teeny-tiny present for his birthday. This (if you're reading this Ray: do not click that link!). It's not his birthday for another month. At this rate I'll be bankrupt! I swear that's the last present... I think ;) I'm out of funds now so it has to be the last... I think ;)

Labels: amber, birthday, daddy, hormones, jem, life, mammy, presents, ray, the pill

by Ys | COMMENTS? 6 | permalink |

I had the house to myself yesterday. All day.

Jem and Mammy went to see Kylie Minogue up in Manchester yesterday. So not only did I get some Me Time (oh precious Me Time, I'd forgotten what that time was like), which entailled me cleaning, writing, and reading two-thirds of The Gunslinger. But I also got some Alone Time with Ray. Which meant eating lasagne and Tagliatelle (it seems to be our food of love ;D), watching Grand Designs (have I mentioned how I've commissioned Ray to build me my dream home?) & The Fifth Element (Ray fancies Milla Jovovich, while I've always had a thing for Bruce Willis); and much, much fun in the bedroom.

The house is all mine for another four hours or so, depending on traffic, and then I'll have to give it back to part-ownership again. I'd forgotten just how much I like being by myself. I was even a little put out when Ray came back from work last night, whereas usually I'm buzzing around by the door waiting for him to get back. I used to spend 90% of my time alone so having spent the last two years pretty much glued to Ray's side (don't get me wrong: it's a lovely place to be stuck) I'd forgotten how much of a loner I really am at heart. Don't worry I have no plans of ditching Ray to return to my loner-lifestyle (damn that pesky love thing!); I was just pleasantly reminded these past twenty-four hours that I can and do love my own company. It was still much more fun playing games with Ray in the evening, though ;)

I'm off unwrap some presents I'd ordered for Ray's birthday; some extremely cool (do not click the links Ray!!) presents. There's also this and this. My boy's a nerd. I always wanted a nerd. I prayed for many years and finally I got one ;)

Enjoy your weekends!

Labels: films, jem, life, love, mammy, ray, reading

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |

The xbox360 broke Friday night. I beleive they call it the ring of death. Because it basically means the xbox has fried. But through the despair and worry, we went online and booked it in to get fixed, not really knowing how we'd find the money to get it done, we learnt that because this is a known problem with the xbox360 console, and because we've had it less than three years (not even a year yet actually!), we can get it fixed for free. Which is a big relief. Ray packaged it up and today the man from UPS came to collect it. The only good thing we can take from it is it does mean we've dug out the old xbox console and are now playing the original Lego Star Wars game. Ray is very upset, though. He loves his xbox360. I've spent most of the weekend keeping his hands busy elsewhere...

I went to see the new Narnia film Saturday afternoon with Mammy and Jemma. Such a good film. I highly reccomend it. It's darker and yet funnier than the first one. Jem is suicidal, though, cos Peter has said he won't be returning to Narnia again. We're meant to be seeing Hancock this weekend, which looks so funny. I'm really starting to get used to these girlie afternoons we spend in the cinema. I'm going to be sad if they stop.

At the moment I'm listening/watching live wimbledon because I don't want to miss my favourite player: Lleyton Hewitt. Typically he's up against Federrer, which means this will probably be the last game I see him play this tournament. I'm trying to write Olimpia Valley at the same time but something tells me I'm going to get distracted by a cute Australian in white shorts.

Labels: films, jem, lego star wars, lleyton hewitt, mammy, narnia, ray, tennis, wimbledon, xbox, xbox 360

by Ys | COMMENTS? 3 | permalink |

This morning I had to go and see the estate agent to try and get my bond back. He'd been adamant that on the 5 June he'd sign the paper and we could have our money. Of course today he tells us that we have to wait 'til 4 July because that's the earliest it can be retrieved. Understandably I got extremely annoyed. The contract he reckons we have with his agency isn't valid because the contract he had with our landlord was broken - by him breaking the agreements of said contract by not paying the landlord any of the rent we'd paid through the estate agent - therefore any hold he had over this house and of the people living in it (i.e. us) was over. He won't accept that, though. He still thinks the landlord has a contract with them!

The landlord ditched them back in March and we had a new contract directly with him from the beginning of that month. Therefore the estate agents should have got in touch with the government scheme holding our deposit money, explained their company was a waste of space who stole money off people, and then our deposit would have been released and we'd have had our money. But, no, he won't do that. He thinks he's right and we're wrong. So I shouted. I know you're not meant to do that. I know you're meant to stay calm, explain your situation, get your point across calmly, etc., etc. but I've already done that too many times to remember. So I told his contract meant nothing, that I knew my rights, that I was going to get that deposit back whether he liked it or not. I said I'd ring the people myself and get it back. I had to leave the shop (storm out more like... ;D) then because I honestly thought I was going to hit him. And I'm not a violent person in any way. He just really wound me up.

Half an hour later Jemma got a phone call from him. He'd rang the place who had our deposit (the government scheme thingy that keeps all deposits safe from scrupulous estate agents and landlords who'd otherwise pocket it) and he claimed they said they couldn't release our money 'til 4 July. But that he'd sign the cheque himself in front of us on that day. If he doesn't have our money himself, if that deposit money is in this government scheme then why would he be the one signing the cheque? I'm very suspicious. I've contacted the government scheme place myself and am waiting to hear if our money is with them or not. If it's not there'll be hell to pay. No one steals from me! Not when I'm so skint I need every penny I can get.

The moral of the story is: shout and demand and you get things moving. As to whether or not I'll ever get this damn deposit money back... well I'll just have to wait another month to see.

Labels: estate agent, house stuff, jem, money

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |

It was a bank holiday weekend so naturally it rained.

At least it was dry Saturday when I went out for a girly day with Mammy and Jem. There was a little shopping (I found nothing but have decided that yellow is my favourite colour this summer), a little lunch (Jem had an egg-mayonaise sandwich and has been ill ever since), and, the highlight of the day (and the summer if you're my mother) we went to see Indiana Jones IV.

I was raised on the original trilogy, probably due to my mother's obsessioncrush on Harrison Ford. As a life-long fan, I have to say that the fourth film did not disappoint. I loved how it was alien-based because the great mystery of the fifties (when it was set) was the Roswell alien spaceship crash. It was classic Indie from start to finish. And whoever decided to cast Shai LaBeouf (how do you pronounce his name?) as mini-Indie needs a big gold star. He is just lovely (but I'll save that gushing for another time). So, if you're a fan of the Indiana films then you should love the new one. If you're new to them, as some of the kids were in the audience, then you might want to not go in there expecting it to be like your run-of-the-mill noughties kid's film cos it's not anything like that. A great action film and absolutely hilarious. I hope they make another one!

Apart from that the weekend was literally a wash out. I had picnics and feeding-the-ducks planned but it all had to be scrapped. Sunday was spent trying to get bits and pieces together so Ray could change a tyre on the car (yes that damn car again; thsi time it wasn't the car's fault; there was a nail on the road - pop!). And Monday just never really got started. Although we did watch half of Return of the King (only half cos that film is long - great but long).

It was a nice weekend, though, weather aside. Love, films, sitting around doing not very much, reading, Lord of the Rings - and Banoffee Pie mmmm. The duck's can have their bread later in the week ;)

EDIT @ 5PM: I've updated the projects section, which is all the way down on the right-hand side of the page :)

Labels: car, films, indiana jones, jem, mammy, ray, shia labeouf, shopping, weather

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |

The snot's a-flying today. Yum. At least the bastard cold got out of my throat. And I have much more energy today, which makes me a much nicer person to be around.

With my new-found energy, I went down to see the estate agent about the entire mess that was/is our lease with them. We've signed a new lease directly with the landlord (due to them withholding funds from him) and so we just had to get our deposit back. We've all been putting off this meeting. If you knew our estate agent you'd know why. He's a Yes-Man, as in everything you ask he says yes to even if the answer is no. Basically, he talks a load of crap all of the time. That's fine until we're the ones out of pocket and made to look like idiots. So off me and Jem went this morning, down to his offices to sort stuff out. Of course, he acted as though he didn't have any idea anything was wrong. He claimed he'd sorted everything out with the landlord and then pulled up emails of correspondence between the two of them. All well and good, except when you look at the dates and you see these emails were sent after the landlord rang us to warn us that he/we were being screwed over by them. But we were polite little girls and just asked when we could get our deposit back. He didn't quite know what to say cos obviously he knew we'd rumbled his lies. Eventually he said he'd talk to his boss and get back to us on when we can get the money. He thinks he can't get it back for us before our six-month lease with them ends (July) but considering the lease was disolved because of their shitty ways I am inclined to believe we can have the money now. Needless to say he hasn't phoned to let us know. Which means there'll be another trip down to see him tomorrow.

Urgh, estate agents.

We went looking at some houses the other night. There's a new estate popped up just down the road from us and they keep advertising viewings. I want to set one up so we went for a spin round in the car first to see if we liked the look of them.

It was like driving onto a set. Artificial light, clean-clean roadways, houses that looked like they were made of plastic. I loved it!



Okay, I'm not saying I want to spend my entire life there but to be able to say I lived in a house in an estate like that would be... well, it would be great! Tell me these plans aren't gorgeous! A fake house to live in this increasingly fake world I find myself a part of - and it's right by the sea. Perfect. Just need to find £240,000 from somewhere now... ;)

Labels: estate agent, house stuff, jem, photos

by Ys | COMMENTS? 3 | permalink |

Needless to say: the money ran out. The week-long celebrations finally caught up with us and the bank account hehe. So we're pretty much housebound for this weekend. That's okay. It was a fun week celebrating Jem's birthday; we have another month to recover in time for my birthday ;)

This week hasn't been too good actually. Everything just got on top of me Wednesday night. Moving out is quite stressful. I'm good with emotional stress but it seems financial stuff gets to me in the end. It was just realising that we'd spent over a hundred pound in one week that set me into a panic. Plus we still haven't had a gas or electric bill so we're not even sure that we're saving enough for them. How much is an average monthly bill (combined)? On top of that there's still the stress with the estate agent, which we haven't felt brave enough to sort out yet. We have promised each other that tonight is the night.

Money aside, there's problems with Sweepie. She had a seizure yesterday. She's had a few fainting episodes throughout her life but these last few months they've become more regular and then yesterday she had a full-on seizure. So today she's gone to the vets with Mammy to see what tablet she needs to be put on. That's been very upsetting :/

So I'm just hoping that nothing else goes wrong now. At least the roof didn't blow off when the storms hit... I think most people seem to be having one of these weeks, though. There's not a lot happening on the blogs I read. Must be something about the second week of March that sets everyone off. I can't wait for it to be over.

Labels: birthday, house stuff, jem, money, ray, seizure, sweepie

by Ys | COMMENTS? 3 | permalink |

This weekend was spent celebrating Jem's birthday. The actual date of her birthday is only today but that didn't stop us starting the celebrations Friday night ;)

We spent a long and lazy afternoon deciding what to wear. There was a lot of pouting, much grabbing of excess flab and turning this way and that to try and get every angle possible of whatever dress we'd decided to try on. Usually such things would bore me. I usually just grab something out of the wardrobe and wear it without giving it much thought. As I've got older - or maybe just cos I now have a boyfriend I really want to impress - I've grown to like playing dress-up.

So Friday evening we walked into town in our dresses (Ray obviously wearing a shirt and trousers, instead of a dress; he just wasn't feeling comfortable in his evening gown ;D). We met up with Mammy, Daddy, Amber and Uncle Bryan for a meal first. The meal was nice but the portions quite small. And there was no decent desert! Not a chocolate cake in sight! I don't think I stopped talking throughout the entire meal. Usually I'm quiet and just sit giggling with Jem or Ray (depending on who's with me). Turns out when you don't live with the people you're dining out with you have lots more to talk about!

Once the meal was finished us three headed into town for drinks. None of us were keen on going to a nightclub and getting harassed by desperados so we decided on a couple of bars instead. Turns out Friday night is Old Person's On The Pull Night. Now, usually, Ray would have all the old ladies chasing him (he attracts them in their thousands) but that night it was actually me and Jem getting harassed by the older people. In the second bar we found some young people and we all seemed to gravitate to the third floor and sat there sipping out vodka-lemonades 'til we were all suitably tipsy.

Saturday was spent watching Wales beat Ireland in the rugby. They've now won the Triple Crown so there was much homo-erotic man-hugging on the pitch. Yum.

Sunday I spent about two hours cleaning. It was exhausting but it was needed. I haven't properly cleaned the house in over a week - tut, tut. After lunch we all headed down the beach with the dogs. Martha barked, Sweepie skipped about trying to find things to eat, I got ear-ache, Ray looked for sea-life and Jem lost the rock she likes to sit on. I think we walked for about two hours and it was really fun. Maybe not when we all started sinking in the soft sand but even that had its element of fun - we did get to scream hehe.

Today is Jem's birthday and so she's been given her presents. The visits by everyone started at 9:30 this morning and will probably last throughout the day. Tonight she gets the cake and the sing-song. Then tomorrow there's another meal out with the family! This has to be the longest birthday celebration ever!

Pictures are being added here ***

Happy Birthday, Jem :)

*** more pictures added

Labels: amber, beach, birthday, daddy, homo-erotic, house stuff, jem, mammy, martha, ray, rugby, sweepie

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |

My eyes are sore and useless. I have no idea what's wrong with them. I think they're just playing up cos I have an optician's appointment next weekend. I wish they'd stop being so tired. I can't get a thing done cos I can't read the words properly, which is giving me a headache. They'll be fine once the appointments done, of course. They'll magically start behaving themselves again. It's like when you go to the dentist, only in reverse. When I go to the dentist my teeth feel fine, then a couple of days later I'll get a toothache. It's always gone within a few days. Must be some kind of pyschological thing.

My eyes are probably tired cos I didn't go to sleep 'til late (I was having fun) and then have spent the morning running round doing stuff. The dogs needed walking, of course; then I had to go and start the shopping. Shop Day has become a bit of a nightmare now. Jem and I start the shopping in the morning, doing the supermarkets in town, picking up any bargains and any of the usual stuff we get from those shops. I always return home at lunchtime starving and with aching arms and shoulders from the heavy bags. By the time 7 o'clock hits this evening we'll be heading off to finish the rest of the shopping, at the two supermarkets that we need a car to get to. It'll be fine in the first shop, all of us giggling and laughing about weird products and how been as Sean Bean no longer endorses the store we're not even sure we want to be seen anywhere near it never mind purchasing goods from it! But by the time we reach the second and final store we all get tired and grumpy. Ray mopes behind with the trolley, feeling excluded; Jem wanders off and starts asking if we can add this to the trolley and that to the trolley; while I turn into a super bitch cos I'm having a panic attack trying to add up everything that's going into the trolley and making sure we can actually afford to pay for the stuff when we reach the check out. By the time we get home we're all usually very annoyed, grumpling at each other and mumbling profanities under our breath. Come Friday morning we'll have forgotten all about it. But it'll happen again the following week.

Shopping is just simply too exhausting. It should be an Olympic sport cos it just about kills me. Why was it so fun when I used to shop with Daddy? There was no stress, no arguments; we'd just shop and it was always fun.

I need to get my energy levels up by tomorrow cos we're celebrating Jem's birthday in the night. I will not have tired eyes. I will not have purple shadows under my eyes. For once I will go out looking pretty and nice and girlie. I have to try and remind Ray why he fell for me in the first place ;) I'm going to blame my tiredness on the fact that I'm back on the Pill after my week off. Seems like a good excuse to me ;)

Labels: birthday, daddy, house stuff, jem, money, ray, sex, shopping, the pill

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |

I'm ill again. I swear I am normally a healthy person. I blame Ray entirely. He brought some bug home and passed it onto me. As he said, the fun we had passing it on does probably make it worth it. It is only a little cold. And I think this time this one is only a small cold. Ray seemed a lot worse with his than I am with my version. I'm hoping to pass it onto Jemma cos it's just polite to share these things, isn't it? ;) Hehe, only kidding Jem.

My test at the doctors was fine. I think it helps when you have a really nice and friendly nurse. She talked me through everything and tried to help me relax. Boy, that sounds dodgy; I don't mean she physically helped me; she just tried to put me at ease. This thing does not make you feel very relaxed hehe. We call it a duck in my house. I kept telling Ray how I was going out for my date with the duck. Well, you've got to make a joke out of it, haven't you? But the whole thing wasn't too bad at all. A little uncomfortable but nothing to get upset about.

While I was there I found out I have to move doctors surgeries cos I'm out of their catchment area. I guess that's not too bad but it's just so much hassle. I'm not claiming my doctors are great, cos they're certainly not, but you get to know them over the years. It's going to be weird seeing someone else. I've got to find a place in town who have room on their books for me yet. Knowing my luck I'll be doctor-less now! Which will be no good considering my immune system has decided to pack up.

I forgot to say how I had a great Friday - everyone came over to see us! My younger sister came over first. It was so good seeing her cos I haven't seen her in ages. Then my mother came to pick her up. Then after that Ray's gran and mother came over. I love visits from people now. Usually I'm quite anti-social and much prefer having my house to myself but playing host is actually quite a fun job. I have to be in the right mood for it, though. I can still be anti-social a lot of the time ;) Mammy's coming over this afternoon to check on Sweepie. As far as I can tell she's pretty much back to her usual self. I just want Mammy to check the wound now cos it makes me go funny when I have to look at it.

I'm off to sneeze and cough my way through Halo 2 then...

Labels: amber, doctors, family, house stuff, illness, jem, mammy, ray, sweepie

by Ys | COMMENTS? 3 | permalink |

I've upset a through-visitor with my blog layout. Brian emailed me to say the following:

I found a link to your blog from another site. Unfortunately, I can't read your blog - the type is sooo small and those loud colours make my eyes spin. Perhaps you've made it deliberately difficult to read, as some sort of post-modern reverse double-bluff? Or maybe not. But really, any casual visitor will just give up and move on (as I did).

I didn't think the colours were that bright. They're okay on my screen anyway. The other computer has a gel-screen, too, so the colours look the same on there. I always view it on maximum screen size; maybe it helps. Anyone know what a post-modern reverse double-bluff is, though? I told him I didn't know what it was - perhaps it's my age, hehe. I think it's pretty cool to have some fan mail, though. I wonder if he bought my book while he was passing through ;)

Good news on the house searching. One of the houses we saw last night is a very good candidate. We just have to wait and see if the landlord will take our babies. So that's very exciting :) And we're seeing another house tonight, which looks very pretty, but isn't as great an area for us all. Hopefully one of these houses will work out for us. I think we're all hesitantly excited about it.

Jemma fell over today - right onto her butt in front of the computer. Why is that people falling over always makes you laugh no matter what time of day it is?

Labels: blogging, dogs, jem, layout, moving out, shadows, websites

by Ys | COMMENTS? 3 | permalink |

This weekend I went to view my first rental houses.

Friday night, me, Ray and Jem visited a ground-floor apartment. I didn't think an apartment could work for us cos I assumed it would be have no garden for the dogs, and be a bit small for three people. Turned out the place was a lot bigger than I realised. It's having a lot of work done on it at the moment due to the previous tennent wrecking it. You kind of had to look past the paint tins, broken beds and shoddy lighting. The agent seemed keen about the dogs, which was a big surprise. But although we all liked it when we were there, later on, we all had a bad feeling about it. It really was too small, and the garden would have been useless for the dogs (we'd have had to lay our own lawn). We've agreed to go back and see it once the work's completed, if we don't find anything beforehand.

The next we saw Saturday morning. I was a little surprised to find another couple were viewing at the same time. Then the agent was twenty minutes late, and we were all freezing and huddled under an umbrella. She finally arrived and we were told to go look around the house on our own, which I much preferred.

Downstairs was great - big kitchen, nice living space, an extra utility room at the back for the dogs to use. Upstairs was even better - three great sized rooms, and what I call higgldy-piggldy stairs. If you don't know what that means, basically it's where you have to go up the main set of stairs, then to get to bedroom one you go up two more steps, and to get to the other bedrooms and bathroom you have to climb back down those two steps, turn, and climb another two. I love upstairs like that! I nearly screamed with delight! And to top it all off the garden is really big. It's not ideal, it needs a fence at the bottom to keep the dogs, and we'd need to get a little more grass down than there is already, but overall it's huge and has so much potential.

As you might be able to tell: I really liked this second house. Unfortunately, I now have to wait to hear back from the agent about whether or not the dogs are welcome (the ad said they'd be considered), and if he'd take three people. The agent is meant to be ringing us sometime this afternoon. The woman who showed us around the house is not in work today, so the person who is in work is tracking her down to find out the answers. Phew. I hate waiting! I'm expecting a negative answer just cos it seems too perfect - and too easy. It is only the second house we've viewed, although we have been looking out for places for about six months. All I can do now is wait...

So the weekend has been spent sorting out the finances, and trying to figure out how much furniture we're going to have to buy. I did have a really nice walk along the beach-front Saturday night. It was really windy and cold but Ray and I just strolled along in the dark, getting blown off our feet, talking. It was really nice.

Come on, agent, ring already!

Labels: beach, dogs, jem, moving out, ray

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |

I was planning a nice relaxing day today. You know those days where you just wake up feeling sleepy, the weather's rotten, so you just imagine a day spent curled up on the sofa with your puppies? It didn't happen.

Just as I was brushing my hair after my shower the phone rang. I hurdled the mess to get to the phone in my parent's room. Lucky I answered it because it was my mother. Yesterday she'd ferried some dogs from a dog's home to the vets (where she works as a vet-nurse); she does this quite often. Yesterday she had Falls with her, which, again, happens quite often. Only what they found out today is that one of the dogs she was carrying in the back of her car has Parvovirus. For non-dog owners maybe you don't know what this is. The link will help, but in short it's a really nasty disease that means the infected dog has to be quaranteened from others. The disease can be spread from one dog to the other via human clothing, or other dog's coats or feet. Of course, Falls was with Mammy yesterday. He came into contact with the dog. It might have been brief but it could have been enough to do damage. And we have the puppies who are at a greater risk of fatality to the disease because they are so young, and obviously they aren't vaccinated.

So, after finishing talking to Mammy, I abandoned my relaxing day for some vigorous cleaning. I started by taking note of what everyone had been wearing last night and got Jem and Amber to give me those clothes to put in the wash. I got any shoes, as well, and made sure they were cleaned with disenfectant. Then I stripped the throws off the sofas, the beds out of the dog's baskets and the puppies' soft toys. I then got the mop out, filled it with disenfectant and mopped the kitchen, dining-room and living-room. Then I got the pups out of the cage and mopped their floor down, changed and mopped their bed, before putting fresh newspaper and a clean bed in for them.

Unfortunately, now all we can do is wait and see. Falls wasn't with the infected dog for very long, and although he did play with the pups last night he was tired after his day in work and so did spend most of the night asleep on the sofa. We've done all we can do now. We just have to wait and see and pray that everyone will be okay.

Diseases and worry aside, I did go out for a lovely meal with Jem last night. I ate a lot and we talked about the houses we're going to see at the weekend. We're trying to guess the plan of one of them because it seems like there's too many rooms for such a small space. It took them forty-five minutes to take our bill, as well. And even then they didn't take it, we just went up to the bar and asked if we could pay. You'd think they'd be chomping our hands off for the money.

Okay, I'm going back to worrying now...

Labels: dogs, falls, food, illness, jem, mammy, money, puppies, vets

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |

Here's the new layout - what do you think of it? I thought the red colours made it a little festive. Ray helped a little, as well. He helped me pick out some colours before he got really bored and I had to abandon the work on it ;) I hope the layout looks okay on everyone else's screens.

I've had some good news! Yes, finally! This weekend Ray, Jemma and I are going to view two properties in town. We think the first one won't be any good for the dogs but it looks super nice so we're going for a look. The second property looks great from outside, it's just not in such a great area. We're all very excited by the news, though. Out first official viewings. Who knows - one of these houses might be the one for us. It's all very exciting... and slightly nerve-racking too.

I had a funny text off Ray yesterday that I wanted to share. Because the screen on my mobile phone is cracked some of the letters in a text I have to guess. Usually that's easy enough to do but yesterday I got stuck. I'd texted Ray to tell him I'd found two of his t-shirts in my kitchen, which he'd meant to take home the previous night. The text I received in reply said:

im cut[missing letter] in a work top now

I took that to mean he was telling me that he hadn't needed the t-shirt's he'd left in my house, that he had a work top and he was telling me he looked cute in it. Well, that's just strange cos Ray never says he looks cute in anything. I showed Jem and asked her what she thought it said. She got it straight away:

i'm cuttin a work top now

Of course! He was cutting a worktop in work, as in a kitchen worktop. You know when stupid things just make you chuckle? That was one of those times. I guess the moral of the story is to buy a new phone. But I don't want to. Not yet, anyway.

So this week is looking way better than last week already. Stupid things that make me laugh, houses to visit, kisses in the kitchen where we were hiding from everyone... ;) I hope everyone else had a great Monday, too.

Labels: jem, layout, moving out, ray, websites

by Ys | COMMENTS? 3 | permalink |

New week, new start. I caved in, as I always do, and no apology was offered; everything is continuing as if nothing was ever said. At least it makes life here bearable. I seriously hate arguments.

Saturday was a wash out. I went out with Ray to Boots to pick something up for Jem (who was too ill to go herself). I had a voucher that offers me half-price on all Boots own health products. What I was buying was Boots own vitamins. At the till, after having my voucher swiped, the price stayed the same. I asked the woman about it and she said, full of fake smiles, that she'd ask someone if I wanted her to. I knew what that meant: I'd stand there for twenty minutes, feeling more and more ill, and then in the end they'd find a way to say it was my fault. So I just sighed at her not to bother, that I didn't even care anymore. I was perhaps a little more arsey to her than I needed to be but I was ill and in no mood for it. Boots always do that with vouchers. There's always a clause so it ends up with you usually paying more than you expected to. Grr. Once that was done I only managed one more shop before my energy levels crashed. We went back to Ray's house for a cup of tea and I nearly fell asleep so he brought me home. I hate, hate, hate not having energy.

All this being ill has meant I've watched a couple of the reality TV shows I usually always miss. I was totally impressed when Christopher Biggins won "I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here" this weekend. I was sure Janice was going to get it, which just would have been such a shame, cos, funny as she was, she just wasn't winning material. And then I'm also hooked on Strictly Come Dancing, and am of course supporting the Welsh guy Gethin Jones. Not forgetting the non-reality stuff I'm hooked on too: The Blair Years (I miss you Tony :( ) and Tudors (phwoooar). Do you know what I've learnt? That TV isn't as bad as I believed it to be.

The weekend picked up for me yesterday. There was a big wind-storm and a big slab of glass from next door's conservatory blew down our drive. Luckily no one was in the garden at the time so there were no casualties. Then in the evening Ray and I went down the harbour and ate chips. The car was rocking dangerously back and for but Ray assured me it wasn't going to tip. It didn't. And when I got home the pups were running wild in the living-room. When they got sleepy I got to cuddle them on the sofa with Ray, which was really nice and cosy.

And today is the start of a new week. The pups are being put into their new routine now, which means I have exactly ten minutes before I have to be downstairs with them. New routines usually kick the mopiness out of me so I'm hoping this week should see my mood improving. I just need some good news; that'd cheer me up immediately. Constant bad news is just not good for a person.

Oh, and expect the new layout on here very soon. I'm very close to completeing it :)

Labels: arguing, family, jem, layout, neighbours, puppies, ray, shopping, tv, weather, websites

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |

I've been unconscious since the weekend. My small cold turned nasty.

Saturday I spent the afternoon in bed watching the Wales V South Africa rugby match. I managed to get up at half-time and say hello to two sets of aunts and uncles (from my mother's side) who'd popped round. They don't just "pop round" very often. They live in England, we live in Wales. For some reason they never come to see us, whereas I know a lot of them do pop in on my uncle who lives ten minutes away.

The evening was spent on the sofa. Mammy got really weird - Post Sibling Visit Syndrome - and started saying some really messed up things. For some reason I found myself defending aunts and uncles I barely even know. Well, she was saying some weird stuff. As always, she took offence to what I said, and I was deemed the anti-Christ and that was that - she hasn't spoken to me since. Although she has been making up lies about me picking on one of the dogs - which is just insane cos I adore all the dogs. Her and my younger sister had a good old bitch. Younger sister stupidly told Jemma about it, who of course told me. I confronted Mammy about it; she was left speechless cos obviously her lie had been presented to her face. I don't think we've said more than two words to each other since. Ahh family dramas.

Of course, she had to pick now to have her funny five minutes, didn't she? I mean, I'm quite clearly ill as ill can be - and there she is picking fights! I haven't had the energy to fight back, hence the no talking.

My illness has got progressively worse. I didn't sleep at all Monday night and so spent Tuesday (yesterday) in a state of semi-consciousness. I sent Ray home at 9pm and crawled into bed with a bowl of Vicks and a towel over my head. I don't know whether it was just the Vicks but I slept pretty much right through the night. I'm feeling almost human again today.

It's my younger sister's birthday tomorrow, so if I don't blog again: Happy Birthday, Amber. She's going to be nineteen. Which is super weird cos she only seems about sixteen. I'm glad I'm feeling a bit better today cos I've got to get to a shop and buy her a card. I've had her present here for ages but now I've just got to summon up the energy to get to a shop.

I hate being ill. This week truly has been the worst week of 2007. I've not only been ill, been arguing with my parents, been ostrasised by them, but I also had some super shitty news about the something I didn't want to mention in one of the earlier posts. Yes, sounds cryptic, I know, but I'd just rather not talk about it. So all in all this week has sucked.

Labels: amber, arguing, birthday, daddy, family, illness, jem, mammy, ray, rugby

by Ys | COMMENTS? 5 | permalink |

I haven't been in the best of moods this week, hence why I haven't blogged anything of worth. Everything seems to be in that limbo-state, which isn't a good place to dwell for too long.

There's some stuff I can talk about, other stuff I can't, other stuff I won't. In brief, I am spending a lot of time sitting around waiting for the pups or Madge to need me. Because it's only their first proper week they don't need me much. Madge needs some extra food, entrance to and from the cage when she pleases; the puppies just need cuddles twice a day for hour/two hour periods to get them used to us all. When they open their eyes I'll have too much work to do running round after them. But their eyes aren't open yet. So I'm in limbo. Sitting around doing nothing makes me extremely bored and mopey.

I know, I know, you could say Why don't you write to fill the time then? The problem with that is I just finished Olimpia Valley and so need some time off from a new novel. I'm reading through Soul Mates books (currently on volume 2) because I'm going to start work on Volume IV next. So why not just write some short stories instead? The problem is the house is very full at the moment. My younger sister has been here all week and only told me yesterday that that's going to be a permanent arrangement now because she's dropped out of college again. So the house is going to be full and noisy, which doesn't make a good environment for writing. If I wasn't on puppy duty I'd just lock myself away in my room, like I normally do, and write that way but I am on puppy duty so that means no writing.

So that hasn't helped my mood. Plus the fact that the house is so full all day and night does mean I'm not getting any time whatsoever to myself, and I'm the kind of person who needs proper alone time at least once a week. I haven't been left on my own in about a month now. That's probably a big reason for my grumpy mood actually. Plus, cos I'm puppy-sitting I'm meant to be down here with the pups most evenings, which means Ray and I get zero time to ourselves. And you know how couples need time on their own - not just for sex, get your minds out of the gutter!

There's some news that I can't talk about cos it's just so up in the air I couldn't even explain even if I wanted to. Another limbo situation. Urgh.

Mammy surprised me with a gorgeous teal-coloured short-sleeved jumper. I fell in love with it about six months ago so I was totally surprised when she handed it to me Wednesday night. She'd had a shopping spree with her friend, and has a store card that gives her about 50% off everything so it only cost her about a fiver :) I love a bargain!

I got to go out Wednesday night. Actually dressed up like a girl, rather than slobbing round the house in my puppy wear (which means dirty jeans and unflattering tops). Me, Jem and Ray went out down the pub for a drink before I dragged Ray home and upstairs for some quality time alone.

So it hasn't all been bad. My mood has pretty much been bad all week but things are looking cautiously positive. Like I say: everything is in limbo so it could go either way. I hope I get the answers next week.

At least Sweepie's eye is doing much better :) She didn't have to go to the vets after all because she's responding so well to the eye cream. Still needs constant cuddles from me though ;)

Labels: amber, clothes, dog-sitting, jem, life, madge, puppies, ray, sweepie, writing

by Ys | COMMENTS? 0 | permalink |

check out my babies check out my babies check out my babies

As if raising puppies wasn't enough, when Jem and I took the dogs for a walk up the road, we found a black kitten in the hedge. He was meaowing from the hedge, calling for help. We picked him up and took him to the nearby house to see if they'd lost a kitten but they hadn't. And the woman next door to her didn't know who he belonged to. So we brought him home.



Mammy took a look at him and found out he had a dislocated hip. We knew we couldn't keep him - not only because we already have five cats, but because we have the two pups so there's really no more room for anymore babies at the moment. He was rather cute, although he was riddled with huge fleas - thank God Mammy had flea-killer stuff.

He soon made himself at home. Gazing lovingly at Falls and then using Sweepie's booty as a pillow throughout the night:





He spent the night here and then this morning Mammy drove him to her work (at the vets). Her boss, the vet, diagnosed the hip dislocation. He'll spend the weekend at the surgery with the other two surgery-cats and then on Monday have an operation to re-set his hip. Then he'll go to his new home with a woman who's nutty about cats and is very good with those who've suffered hip/pelvis trauma. So the little thing might have had a rough beginning but he's going to have a great life from here on out.

I think God sent the kitten to make up for the small litter Madge had, hehe.

check out my babies check out my babies check out my babies

Labels: falls, jem, kitten, mammy, photos, sweepie

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |

Take a look at the wooden-flooring that it took Ray and Daddy three days to complete!



You'd better be impressed cos a part of me will always hate that floor for the hours I spent sitting, playing on the laptop, freezing my ass off cos the back door had to be left open so they could go back and forth cutting bits of wood; watching Ray grow sicker and getting more frustrated by his tiredness. I'm just glad it's all done. And I must admit it does look rather pretty ;)

I think my never-ending period might be ending now. Finally! I was starting to think I'd be stuck with it forever. And I took full of advantage of the flow-stop last night, I assure you ;)

Once it was time to rejoin the real world, I came down to help assemble Madge's cadge for the puppies. I'm starting to let myself get excited now. I feel like it'd be a jinx to get too excited before the birth cos so many things can still go wrong. There's only a few days left now. Whee!

I am starting to wonder if Ray's possibly slipping some of my tablets, though... Isn't it meant to me who's filled up with oestragen and getting clucky?



Bless. He's a bit ill at the moment. I'm hoping it won't spread to his tonsils and give him tonsillitis cos I don't know how I'll take care of and worry about him and a litter of puppies all at the same time. He's keeping himself drugged up and we're hoping he'll get better in the next couple of days.

Jem's Christmas dress arrived yesterday, which cheered her up after a couple of emotional days. We all always feel it when Jem's not feeling right ;) I still think my dress is prettier, though ;) So if you should see two girls wandering round in those dresses they may well be us two. So don't be a scary stalker and murder us, just say a code word or something so I know you read the blog. Say, like, "A light's on" really loudly or something hehe.

Urgh, I'm tired and hungry. At least the sickness has passed. I pop a pill and I get nauseous for a couple of hours, which isn't fun. At least I'm not over-eating and getting fat, which is what everyone else reckons they do when they start on the Pill. Oh and my hormones are doing a lot, lot better today. I've gone a full twenty-four hours without hysterics.

Well, there was a wobbly time last night when Falls (the dog) jumped on me when I was holding a cup of very hot tea and the tea ended up in my crotch. But those were tears of pain. I now have a little burn on my inner left thigh. Lovely. I've not really had a good week, have I?

One of the blogs I read has closed - that's the first time that's happened... no, second time. Bye Bye Silver Neurotic - I hope you find happiness in your new writing ventures.

I need lunch. Now.

Labels: illness, jem, madge, photos, puppies, ray, shopping

by Ys | COMMENTS? 3 | permalink |

It's happened. My hormones have gone into meltdown.

I've always had loopy hormones. I think that's what comes of having life-long cysts growing on your ovaries, then having said ovary taken out when your midway through puberty. It kind of sent my hormones off into a world of their own where some times I was neurotic, other times filled with such love I thought I'd burst, and other times they'd actually calm down and let me feel momentarily normal.

During the last three years or so my hormones have calmed considerably. I don't suffer from PMT and I only really get cranky if I'm tired or hungry. But of course I've now slung in my new funtastic birth control tablets (I love that phrase... birth control). And my hormones are screaming at me in protest.

Everything was absolutely fine until about 7pm last night. Ray came over and started putting the finishing touches to the new wooden-flooring in the living-room; I sat and observed on the sofa, playing the What Colour Pants Is Ray Wearing Today game. I suddenly got very tired (I had done in the afternoon, as well) and felt the need to curl up foetal-position on the sofa. Ray noticed I wasn't looking good and came over to give me a hug. He asked if I was okay and I felt the insane urge to burst into tears. Oh dear me. I don't do random bursts of tears. I cry in private not in company.

The night got steadily worse with me feeling more and more emotional. I felt suddenly stifled by Ray just by something innocent he'd said about how "when we make plans" when in my head it's me who makes plans for me - not me and him. Then he ran off to fix the toilet (it broke Tuesday night so because he couldn't the part for it Wednesday he did a quick-fix on it last night) as soon as Jem complained that it was broken, which immediately got me weepy cos I have the whole issue of Why do men always do everything for her just cos she's short and blonde whereas I'm expected to be strong and capable just cos I'm tall and brunette? Mammy knew I was upset and so spent the entire time Ray was fixing the toilet trying to keep me busy - bless.

I spent the rest of the evening nearly crying until when Ray left I went upstairs and had a good cry in the bathroom.

Today I'm not feeling quite so unhinged and out of control but I'm still not completely normal. I'm willing the hormones to calm down - fast. I have no time for silly, girlie hysterics. I know it probably doesn't help that I'm still bleeding eight days after I started the damn tablets. I googled for some info and one girl said she bled for the full three months she was taking the tablets! Sod that! I might be able to make it through one sachet of tablets before returning to the doctor but I'd be surprised if I had the patience to wait 'til then. This period has to stop now - I'm sick of it! I'm now linking my eratic behaviour to the never-ending period so I hate it even more.

At least tonight Ray doesn't have to fit any more wooden flooring so I'm going to steal him away up to my bedroom so we can actually spend some time together alone before the week is out. I feel like I haven't seen him at all this week - it's been horrible. I'm sure that hasn't helped my mood.

Urgh, being a woman is no fun at the moment. But at least my aching jaw is a lot better; and my aching neck and shoulder are also nearly completely healed. So maybe my body isn't completely packing up on me just yet.

Labels: hormones, illness, jem, mammy, ray

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |

I quit with the PHP. But not before I got it work for me, of course. I'm not that much of a quitter. I tried FlexPHPnews but I think I was just on a Stupid Day cos although I worked out the hard stuff - such as setting up the MySQL database and uploading the actual programme, I then couldn't for the life of me figure out where I was meant to upload the content. I had no programme to open. I logged in but then it just took me to the page I was trying to update. So I quit on that and searched around until Cute News seduced me. I took a few hours to familiarise myself with it, learn the codes and stuff. But once I figured it all out I realised it didn't really do what I wanted it to, which was organise the press on the site. It's more for updating news not archiving. So I've decided, although it may take some work, I'm going to do it by hand. If I use frames it'll be simple but I don't know if I want to... We'll see.

So, in the list of Things I Quit This Weekend you can add PHP.

Next, I quit on the rugby (local). In fairness I was told we couldn't get a lift down or back (to feed the dogs at dinner time) but even if I'd not been told that I wouldn't have wanted to go. Me and the rugby just aren't gelling anymore. The boys I was friends with don't talk to me anymore - bar one who probably only still talks to me cos he's in love with Jem. All the older guys say hello but there's a definite sense of you broke the rules from them cos we said they had drug problems in the club (which they do); but that's apparently not a thing to be said aloud.

I did go down to the pub in the evening, though, to watch the rugby (national). The young boys sat by us and entertained me with their usual sex-obsessed ways. I swear they think of nothing else. They also wrongly guessed me and Jem's ages. They said I was twenty-two and she was nineteen.

After that we felt we should show our support by attending the do upstairs. Most of the team went off into town so there was some upset from the committe members. I think there was about twenty of us up there watching a band called Voodosnakes. I'm sure they were great for everyone over the age of forty but for me they just weren't really my thing.

So halfway through the set, when they went on their break (they'd only been playing for fifteen minutes so why they needed a break I don't know), me, Jem and Ray disappeared downstairs, and then outside, and then home.

Today Ray and I were meant to be going to see Stardust in the cinema. I quit on that cos I just wasn't feeling too good. We went for a wander round our usual favourite place on a Sunday afternoon and even then didn't up buying anything; just spent a long time spraying each other with perfume testers to see if we liked any (we didn't). I got ill (dizzy and nauseous) and flaked out on the bed for a while. We then had a yummy chinese take-away mmm. And Amber's adorable friend Dan came round to try and fix our computer. His allergies were really bad so despite my best efforts (well, I did find a box of allergy tablets in the back of the cupboard after hearing him sniffling and sneezing continuously), he had to go home to finally be able to breathe.

Unfortunately I'm still on my period. I hope this is just a side-effect of starting the Pill and not going to be a continuous thing. Cos by day five I'm usually almost at the end of my cycle; the way I am now it looks as though it's going to hang on for a few more days yet. So I had to quit on sex as well, which I wasn't best pleased by.

Tomorrow Daddy and Ray are fixing the new wood floor in the living-room, which means I have to clear out the cupboard so they can move it out of the room. But the good news is this is all being done for Madge and the babies, who should all be with us by this time next week.

I'm glad to say goodbye to this weekend. And I didn't even mention the wisdom tooth pain (one of them is on the move)!

Labels: amber, daddy, gigs, jem, life, madge, puppies, ray, rugby, websites

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |

The problems I thought I'd be having my parents didn't actually materialise. Sometimes I think I wrongly expect the worst from them. I know I can't be blamed for thinking that way but it does make me feel bad when I'm proved wrong (except it makes me feel good at the same time, as well, obviously). They've been great this weekend - both of them. I think, as a lot of us do, especially when we're young and wrapped up in our own lives, I forgot to look at it from their perspective. From some things that they've said this weekend I think they're a little worried about what it'll be like for them when me and Jem move out next year. They'll still have Amber at home but two of their pups will have gone and that's a big section of the pack to lose. I think their recent behaviour has been a knee-jerk reaction to our plans to move out (not exclusively, obviously, I am well aware their lives do not solely revolve around me). It's sort of like their preparing little obstacles to keep themselves busy during the transition. And I think as an adult I need to let them have those obstacles. They didn't do it to make me feel like crap, didn't do it to prove that my problems were nothing and were allowed to be ridiculed whereas my other siblings are not; they did it because they needed to. And they've made a big show this weekend of making sure I didn't feel abandoned or over-looked, and that what I went through (and continue to go through) is not being ignored. We've had our problems through the years and when my parents act so caringly, so considerate of my feelings (regardless of my other two sisters, who they look after in which ever way they need) I am always surprised into silence and bemusement. It's been a good weekend with them. I feel very blessed.

Last night Ray, Jem and I went down the pub to watch the England V France match. It was very boring. Some of the younger boys kept stripping and jumping around the room in all their glory. While the older boys gave us some dirty looks and ignored us for the rest of the night. Ahh the rugby club, how I love it.

I had a take-out pizza last night, as well, mmm. Then Ray and I watched Moulin Rouge, which is such a bad film but the ending always makes me cry. Ray distracted me from my upset, though. I slept like a log last night. Best sleep I've had all week.

Now I've upset Sweepie by telling her off for jumping on the laptop. She's pouting at the end of the bed. Oh dear... Best go give her some attention...

Labels: daddy, family, films, jem, life, mammy, moving out, ray, rugby, sweepie

by Ys | COMMENTS? 1 | permalink |

Ray and I tried a new pub Sunday night. It has the potential of being our local when we're down his house. It's in walking distance so when I'm next staying down his we're thinking of having a Let's Get Drunk night. I haven't got drunk since May. It's been a quiet summer. So why am I mourning its end? God knows. It seems everyone's in a bad place at the moment. Every blog I read seems to be saying how they're finding it difficult to be positive, and are finding life is getting them down. At least I'm not alone, I suppose. But what the hell is wrong with us all? Can it really just be an end-of-season thing? I want it to go away. I miss being optimistic and happy.

I have started playing "Halo 3" now. Easy is beyond easy. But I am worried about how hard Legendary is going to be because the Flood are tough - well, the Pureform Floods are anyway. And they sound like elephants. My TV isn't the best TV to play it on, though. "Halo 3" needs a bigger screen that what I've got. But I can't afford a new one, and I have no space for a bigger one, so I'll just have to soldier on.

Last night I went down to see the in-laws for the first time in about a month. I always worry they'll think it's me not wanting to go there when in fact it's Ray's funny hours that's preventing us from going down more often. He's working somewhere that usually doesn't see him getting here 'til 7 or 8 in the evening by which time neither one of us can be bothered to do anything never mind drive all the way back down to his house only for him to have to drive me back by 10 cos he has to get up early the next day. My welcome was warm so that was nice, so I don't think they're harbouring any ill feelings towards me. They went out after food visiting other family members and friends so Ray and I had some rare time-alone. Some was spent in his little bed, the rest on the sofa watching "Doc Martin". That programme is so funny. We were finding the best places to sniff each other. Okay, okay, sounds dodgy but it's not. I like it best just below his left ear cos it's a lovely mix of his smell and his man-fume; whereas he likes behind my right ear cos it's a mix of me smell and my shampoo. Oh the funny things that will amuse you when you're in a relationship hehe.

Today Jem has gone to get her hair cut so I have the house to myself. I don't even remember the last time this happened. I've written all I can write and so will spend the next couple of hours contemplating my bad mood and finding ways to fix it. Anyone know how to cure anxiety? Cos mine's just getting worse with age.

Labels: halo, jem, life, love, ray

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |

I was first introduced to the Halo world early this year. Ray brought over his xbox to give Jem something to do when we were out doing the Couple Thing. He gave her Halo 1 to play. When I watched her play it I thought I'd never get a hang of the controls. I've only ever played PC games - never with a controller. It all looked far too complicated.

About a month later I picked it up and had a go for myself. I took to it quite well. Driving the car for the first time had me in tears of laughter. I completed the game on Easy and then moved onto Halo 2. I wasn't as keen on Halo 2 but once I figured out the new guns I found it quite easy. I then worked my way up through the settings. I finished Legendary on both games last month. Legendary on Halo 1 seemed easier to me than it did on Halo 2. But I do much prefer Halo 1.

When Halo 3 was released Ray, of course, bought a copy. He is obsessed with the game, and his obsession has rubbed off on me. I adore Master Chief, and of course hate Cortana (cos she's after my man ;D). I told Ray to play the game through first cos he is an amazing player and I knew if I played it we'd all still be sat there a month later wondering how the damn thing ended.

First of all: the graphics.



It looks amazing. And I mean amazing. Halo 1 and 2 look like games compared to Halo 3. Halo 3 looks, feels and sounds like a real event. It feels like you're really on earth, really at war, and it does all rest on your shoulders. Everything is real.

Secondly: the story.



I always found the story quite hard to follow - too much going on, and I was too intrested in shooting everything that moved. Halo 2 really pushed the story arc but that just confused me even more. Halo