Thanks for the comments :) It's such a nice surprise to hear so many people thinking adoption/fostering should be my first choice. I suppose times have changed since I was a child. When I told people at the age of about eleven that I wanted to adopt everyone told me I'd change my mind one day, as if to adopt was a lesser way of being a parent. I suppose it helps that celebs do it all the time now. I guess it's the new in thing of the moment. Has to be about the only positive thing that's popular these days ;) As for waiting another year to find out if I even can have children naturally... Well, I've waited the last eleven years so what's another one? Plus I have this feeling that once I start down that road I'll find it's a fairly slippery one and I'll soon find myself more than just interested in it, I'll want it then and there - be that a baby in my womb or a baby/child/teen in my arms from someone else's womb. I think it's sensible to wait, to stay calm, to plan these things through. Children need such a huge amount of attention. I've seen some shocking displays of parenting through my life and I am adamant that I will save not ruin more lives. I think I need to rid myself of some more of my selfish needs first. And that can only come with age. Growing up doesn't have to be all bad, does it? I'm finding some parts are quite fun :)

There might be one more big decision to make this summer. Nothing is definite but we've stumbled across a possible proposition. Both ideas sound good to me and so it's just confusing the hell out of me. My mind hurts from all the thinking.

So in between I'm watching the Olympics pretty much day and night ;) I'm not so devoted that I stay up all night (coverage starts at 2am here) but I do hit the red button and watch all the bits I've missed. It reminds me of when I was hooked on "Big Brother" a few years ago and I used to put the live stream on all day. What a wasted summer that was ;) I'm really enjoying the gymanstics and swimming; and I'm having lots of fun saying which badminton players I could beat with my meagre badminton skills ;) I always really enjoy the Olympics. This is the first time I've not watched them with Daddy and it's not quite the same without him. I might have to pop home and get him to put it on the telly so we can sit in silence together and watch it. We never used to talk, we just used to sit up all night watching it together. You see, that's one of those parts of growing up that isn't fun.

Labels: adoption, children, daddy, fertility, house stuff, motherhood, olympics

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |

I'm going to draw a line under my emotions from last week. I can't change anything and obsessing over it doesn't help anyone so I'll do what I can when I can. And hope it's enough.

I had a lovely weekend, which helped to cheer me up a lot. I went out with Mammy and Jemma to see The Dark Knight on Saturday. Heath Ledger is as good as everyone is saying he is; it isn't just being said cos he died. I thought the film was a bit long-winded but it was still very good. I don't understand how it got a 12A certificate, though, cos it was seriously dark and quite a lot disturbing. I wouldn't want my children seeing it. At the end a group of them rejoined their parents and started saying how they'd cried in fright through most of it! Besides that factor, I really don't think young people would really get what was going on. On the top level, sure, but not all the psycological parts. I reccomend the film, anyway :)

Sunday was spent visiting everyone, and doing a little shopping ;) I didn't buy anything too grand. Just a mug-tree. It's not the one I wanted (I wanted a white wooden one) but it was the best I could find:



The kitchen is very fastly coming together. I love the white-with-spots look; it's cute. I'm going to get some round tins next to store some of the junk is so that the worktops aren't bogged down with bowls full of knick-knacks. I prefer clear worktops.

While Ray bought himself a couple of new xbox360 games. He's waited patiently week after week and then this week he gave in and bought two. I could link you to them but I don't actually know what they're both called. I know one is Oblivion because we had fun making up the character's face to look like Ray ;)

That afternoon we went visiting everyone. It was a really lovely visit back to Ray's house. Dale's shaved all his hair off, though! He has such lovely blonde hair, which he grows long and then shaves off. Nicky gave me a mini-gumball from her mini-gumball machine and we all had fun laughing at Mams trying to blow bubbles. Everyone is such fun when it's sunny, aren't they?

Then it was onto my parents' house with the two dogs, where we had a huge BBQ and stuffed ourselves silly. There was lots of silliness, lots of laughing, lots of noise and games with the dogs; and we ended it all by walking all six dogs up the road together, which caused Sweepie such excitement that she had to be carried for most the walk in fear she'd pass out (she doesn't handle heat and excitement well together at all).

SUMMER BBQ

So all in all it was a really nice, fun weekend.

And it ended with the best words I could have heard: "If we weren't skint we could have a baby now." :)

Labels: daddy, films, house stuff, in-laws, life, mammy, martha, motherhood, ray, sweepie

by Ys | COMMENTS? 4 | permalink |

Through my nostaligia, my recent obsession with thinking back and pondering over those things I just couldn't quite understand at the time, I've made some realisations. About others in my life, and about myself.

The other day I wrote this and I got a reaction from Jem that I wasn't expecting. She asked if I'd written it to get at her cos she'd said she didn't like where the characters were heading (long-story-short: I gave her an unfinished novel based in "Olimpia Valley" to read, which took the characters somewhere very dark; I'd already told her she wouldn't like it so wasn't surprised when she said she didn't). It threw me. Because when I'd written the entry I'd actually been thinking about something Stephen King had written and I'd read by chance when I was a bit bored. It was at the beginning of one of the "Dark Tower" books (the recent editions) where he said that he always loved returning to the "Dark Tower" world and that it was a place he always found easy to fall back into. He mentioned how the only other world that took him so strongly was "The Stand" (which, incidently, I haven't read and therefore did not know was based in a post-apocalyptic world). So my thoughts went simply this like: How weird he has an olde worlde world and a post-apocalyptic world just like me with "Soul Mates" and "Olimpia Valley". I wrote that afternoon and the words just tumbled out and I was so high on the writing, so high on the characters; and I realised I was living vicariously through those characters; how in another life I might have made the same choices they do/did. So I wrote that entry but simplified it and just summed it up in a few words.

My thinking afterwards was how easily we misinterpret things that people say and do and automatically twist them around to fit into what we're thinking. We all do it. I know I do. I like to think I can project myself into other people's thoughts (being a writer I have to have that ability to some point other wise how would I write about people I didn't particularly agree with) but I often put my own thoughts on top and come to the wrong conclusion.

This led me onto a sudden understanding. That when a certain family member turned against me and tried to turn my mother against me in the process, it wasn't anything to do with the fact that I was in whatever form playing Mother to Amber. This woman had an issue with the fact that I was getting on so well with my father. This woman tried to turn my mother against me because of her own issues over her jealousy that her daughter and husband had always been close, that her daughter had chosen her father over her mother (her). All these years I believed it was because of Amber, because I rallied us three girls (sisters) together and wouldn't let a single one of us crumble under the pressure. I thought this woman thought I was in someway disprespecting Mammy and her parenting skills by coping while Mammy was away.

It was a nice realisation in a way. It was nice to be able to step back eight years later and be able to see things with fresh eyes, with emotions that aren't tainted by grief and anger. I've always found it amazing how wrong people can get things, how we all assume this that and the other and how nine times out of ten we're way off the mark. I've always said, "You never know what's going on behind closed doors," because it's true. The face people show you is not always the true one. Not in a dishonest way, just that we don't all run around showing the things that have scarred us (I know I don't anyway) and so how can you tell whether what one person thinks happened is actually fact?

I've always been fascinated with the psychology of the human mind. I think maybe I missed my calling ... ;)

Labels: amber, daddy, jem, life, mammy, rant, writing

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |

I went back home to see my parents last night. And I felt extremely homesick when I was there and when I had to leave. I haven't felt homesickness like that since moving here.

I just felt myself starting to miss my old life. Talking to Daddy about rugby, laughing with Mammy over pretty much everything, being more than just a big sister to Amber. I missed the safe, quiet, homely feel I used to have in that house. It doesn't feel like home anymore. I adapt too quickly to change. I move on and accept that whereever I am, for however long I am there, is my new safe place, my new home. I'm the same when we go visiting other people. I adapt to their houses and find I never want to leave (unless it's truly awful and then I'm bolting for the door ;D). Well, last night all that adapting broke down and I just wanted to stay at home and be young and free and silly again. Not that I was that way very much when I lived there. I couldn't wait to get out, in fact. I suppose it's always the same. Growing up isn't always fun.

I've been jealous a lot this last week, too. Over stupid things, things that either can't be changed or don't even matter anyway. Like last night I was jealous that I no longer lived at home; I was jealous that Amber wasn't mine anymore; I was jealous that Daddy talks so much more to Ray than me these days (man chats about nails and roofs and stuff I don't understand); jealous that Mammy was going to the cinema with her friend without me. But I've also been jealous of how pretty Jemma is; how independent Hannah is; how strong Sarah has always been. I'm even jealous of all of Ray's aunts and uncles because they have such adorable children! I blame all of this insane girlie stupidity on my raging hormones. I'm expecting everything to calm the hell down again from today onwards because today at 9:40am I broke open a new satchet. I am officially back on the Pill again :)

Through my moping and insanity, I decided to buy Ray just one more teeny-tiny present for his birthday. This (if you're reading this Ray: do not click that link!). It's not his birthday for another month. At this rate I'll be bankrupt! I swear that's the last present... I think ;) I'm out of funds now so it has to be the last... I think ;)

Labels: amber, birthday, daddy, hormones, jem, life, mammy, presents, ray, the pill

by Ys | COMMENTS? 6 | permalink |

I'm still cranky but I think this is more to do with tiredness than anything else. Tired of being on, hehehe ;)

It was Visiting The Family Day yesterday. Ray's house was filled with people. It often is on a Sunday but I haven't seen it fill up that quick in a long while. We didn't stay long. I don't know what to say about it. It's a weird time. We then went on to see my Old Folk, with the dogs, as well. We like to gatecrash spectacularly ;) Mammy welcomed us with a present: some spotty mugs for the kitchen:



Very cute. She's spoiling us again. I christened them with some wine last night. The wine was disgusting (I just don't like wine no matter how hard I try!) so after a couple of sips I concluded the christening was finished and didn't need to drink anymore.

It's been a weekend of watching films. First: Be Kind Rewind. It was such a lovely, sweet film. Funny, of course, as you'd expect from Jack Black (that man can make me laugh with just a look!), but very sweet, as well, which I wasn't expecting. I liked it :) Then we watched A Cock & Bull Story, which I have loved since I first saw it three years ago. I finally found it to buy! Everyone must see this film: it's so kooky and funny :) And, finally, last night we watched The Crow: Wicked Prayer. I only wanted it cos David Boreanaz is in it (I've been in love with him for an age!). I quite liked Edward Furlong back in my days of youth, as well. Both actors can act, just a shame that what they were acting with was so bad. Awful film, of course, but it had some strangely pretty moments with the flashback/after-death scenes spliced in.

It's back to the real world now, though. Paying bills and writing, and thinking what I'm going to be eating for lunch today... ;)

Labels: daddy, david boreanaz, films, house stuff, in-laws, life, mammy, photos, presents

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |

Last night I went to visit my in-laws. Ray's mother was in work and his gran is poorly so after a bit of chatting we amused ourselves with some old photos Ray had found.

I come from a family that documented most of our lives from childhood onwards. Actually, I think it slowed down once we all got into our teens but then we were able to take over the job ourselves and so there has always been albums full of photos in the cupboards. The other week my parents dug them out and we all stood in the kitchen reminiscing, laughing and teasing each other about the funny faces we were pulling in the shots.

I forget that other people don't take as many photographs. I forget that other people don't put their photos into albums.

Last night I sat down expecting to see heaps of embarrassing photos of Ray when in fact there was only a handful that he featured in. One when he was about twelve - such a skinny blonde thing, and always in a baseball cap. The others from his uncles wedding when he was wearing make-up to cover up a black eye from a fight the night before. He assures me the fight had not been his or his uncle's fault but do you think I beleive him? Do I heck! ;) And finally some photos of him with his cousin proudly holding up some fish they'd caught.

He doesn't say it but I know he feels sad that there aren't more photos of him. That my endless albums worth of childhood photos remind him that his life was different to mine. It made me think about my own childhood.

Ray has always said he loves visiting my family because our house is a home, that everyone can say and do what they like - we're all a bunch of idiots who don't care, basically. I didn't realise just how fun and relaxed and filled with love my family home was and is. I went through some tough times with my family in my late-teen years but looking at us now and how we were before the bad times I wonder how it ever happened, how they could be the same parents who hurt me so much. Because they're not like that anymore. They weren't before and they're not now.

I guess moving out of home has made me look at my family and my family life in a new light, from a different angle. I had a wonderfully happy childhood, no matter how bad it got after puberty hit, the childhood was fun. And in between the bad times the good times were always so good. It's nice to be able to appreciate the good parts of life. I spent so long concentrating on the negative that I forgot to see that there was some damn good times mixed in there too.

Basically: my family rule! ;)

Labels: childhood, daddy, family, in-laws, love, mammy, photos

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |

My ambition in life is a simple one. It's been the same one pretty much all my life. It was intensified through my later teen years and I've been obsesseddriven to making it a reality ever since.

All I want is to meet the man I love (check), marry him, buy a house together and fill it with lots of children and animals and love.

Now that ambition does not sit well with feminists. Does not sit well with teachers in school. Does not sit well with women who feel they were forced to live that life yet always wanted more. But to me that is more. That is everything I want.

I was talking last night, just throwing out words to see how they sounded, see where my mind was at. And I just came to realise that that's not what a woman of twenty-five is meant to wish for. I'm meant to want a fulfilling, busy career, which pays me heaps of money so I can go out drinking every night, and buy shoes with the rest of it. I'm not meant to want to save for the future, to make tentative life plans about wanting a house in the country and neighbours close to my age who I can go for drinks down the local pub with, meet up with outside the school gates and be happy with that life.

Have I just been told the wrong things by the teachers in school and the adults in my life? Is it just me or does the media tilt everything in favour of frivulous single life, while painting the family life as boring? And why does it do that? Why can't you mix both and enjoy both? I don't intend on giving up my social life, my youth, just because I've fallen in love and want to get married to that person.

I count myself lucky in that I had two young parents who devoted their lives to me and my siblings in their own ways. Daddy always provided for us financially, with trips out at the weekend to teach us things about life, and Mammy always provided love and fun and games and food. But that didn't stop them going out and enjoying themselves, having friends over, getting drunk. My childhood home was always filled with laughter and friends. And boy did my parents argue when they wanted to. And it was real life and it was emotional but always, always fun. I want that. I don't want the career and the bags of money. I just want laughter and babies and family life. And I want that life to be as fun for my children as it was for me.

Labels: children, daddy, family, life, love, mammy, marriage, work

by Ys | COMMENTS? 4 | permalink |

I was going to say how my new outlook on life didn't start off too well. I argued with Ray Friday and we didn't make up 'til Saturday morning. Then all that day I spent curled up on the sofa ill. But on Sunday things got much better. My health improved therefore my mood did and I had a great time visiting the two families, and finally celebrating Father's Day with Daddy, a week late. [Pictures can be viewed HERE] But I need to talk about a door.

This door sits down the far end of the kitchen. It is a spare door. We think it used to be in the archway that separates the kitchen from the hall (there is no door there now). It was left here by the landlord (in fairness he didn't know we were moving in when we did, thanks to the rip-off estate agents, so perhaps he'd have got rid of it had he have had time). It has a big glass panel at the top and one at the bottom. And it's heavy. It's been left behind the door that seperates the kitchen from the back-room. This door is only shut if the dogs are in bed at night. But the spare door has always sat happily behind it be it open or shut. I forget it's there, to be honest. I just clean around it, mumble how it's kind of getting in the way, then forget all about it again.

That was until today.

When it fell on me.

I was vaccuming the kitchen floor and I pulled open the door between the kitchen and back-room to clean up the dog hair that had gathered there. One hand on the vaccum cleaner, my head tipped down looking at the floor, and suddenly I saw this great big thing - made of glass! - coming straight at me. I looked up just in time to see the glass a mere inch from my face. I don't know how I did it but I somehow managed to get my free hand up to catch the thing. My wrist twisted, I dropped the vaccum cleaner, that got crushed under the door, and grabbed the door with my second hand. I cried out for help but no one answered. So I pushed it back up, put it back in place and just stood there looking at it.

It's never fallen before. It hasn't even been moved so why it would suddenly decide to drop on me today I don't know. I hadn't even gone near it when it fell. Needless to say I was/am a little shaken up. I mean, that glass would have caused me some damage, not forgetting the sheer weight of the door probably would have knocked me out. Bleurgh. Doesn't bear thinking about. I know have an aching wrist, which hurts up to the elbow, but nothing's broken so I live to see another day.

I've texted Ray. He says we can smash the damn thing up tonight with a hammer. Hehe. He always knows how to cheer me up ;) I think the moral of this story is not to clean!

Labels: daddy, house stuff, illness, in-laws, life

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |

Wow it's been a busy weekend.

First of all: Joe Absolom finally has a new project. So I was running round (online obviously) trying to find news about that. I love it when he does new projects cos I get to play with my site :)

The weekend was ruled by dog-sitting. Not paid this time, just looking after the dogs, cats, rabbits and birds for my parents while they're away on their holidays. Amber was doing some days and when she was out me and Ray took up the challenge. The first afternoon was awful. The dogs were wound up because we'd brought Sweepie with us and just basically misbehaved the entire time. We went back Saturday for the night and that was much more bearable. We watched Alien Vs Predator - Requiem. It was Ray's choice of film. I didn't really understand what was going on so just before it ended I had to admit my stupidity and ask him what the Predator guy was up to. He explained the history of it (why didn't the film explain he was after the Queen Alien?) and then it made more sense. It was still quite a pants film, though.

In between all the dog-sitting, I suggested we go have a picnic in the water park. That was really nice. The sun was out, it was lovely and warm, the dogs had a great time, and we treated ourselves to some yummy food. Mmm. The coast was covered in mist from the sea so we went for a walk in it. It was quite spooky. And when we came home the second time from my parents house, we decided to eat pizza and chips outside in the garden. It was great to be able to really enjoy our surroundings and make the most of it. The picnic, the walk on the beach, the dinner in the garden: it was great to really appreciate this place, this place that is my home. I'm so lucky :)

You can see pictures from my weekend here, including shots from home, the picnic, the beach and our dinner in the garden.

Not being at home for most of the weekend does mean I have heaps of stuff to catch up on today. Expect multiple comments on missed blog entries, emails answered, my hair freshly dyed and a new book to read because Ray liked the sound of other one I was meant to start and has nicked it to read first.

Labels: amber, beach, daddy, dog-sitting, films, house stuff, joe absolom, life, mammy, photos, ray, reading, websites

by Ys | COMMENTS? 3 | permalink |

This weekend was spent celebrating Jem's birthday. The actual date of her birthday is only today but that didn't stop us starting the celebrations Friday night ;)

We spent a long and lazy afternoon deciding what to wear. There was a lot of pouting, much grabbing of excess flab and turning this way and that to try and get every angle possible of whatever dress we'd decided to try on. Usually such things would bore me. I usually just grab something out of the wardrobe and wear it without giving it much thought. As I've got older - or maybe just cos I now have a boyfriend I really want to impress - I've grown to like playing dress-up.

So Friday evening we walked into town in our dresses (Ray obviously wearing a shirt and trousers, instead of a dress; he just wasn't feeling comfortable in his evening gown ;D). We met up with Mammy, Daddy, Amber and Uncle Bryan for a meal first. The meal was nice but the portions quite small. And there was no decent desert! Not a chocolate cake in sight! I don't think I stopped talking throughout the entire meal. Usually I'm quiet and just sit giggling with Jem or Ray (depending on who's with me). Turns out when you don't live with the people you're dining out with you have lots more to talk about!

Once the meal was finished us three headed into town for drinks. None of us were keen on going to a nightclub and getting harassed by desperados so we decided on a couple of bars instead. Turns out Friday night is Old Person's On The Pull Night. Now, usually, Ray would have all the old ladies chasing him (he attracts them in their thousands) but that night it was actually me and Jem getting harassed by the older people. In the second bar we found some young people and we all seemed to gravitate to the third floor and sat there sipping out vodka-lemonades 'til we were all suitably tipsy.

Saturday was spent watching Wales beat Ireland in the rugby. They've now won the Triple Crown so there was much homo-erotic man-hugging on the pitch. Yum.

Sunday I spent about two hours cleaning. It was exhausting but it was needed. I haven't properly cleaned the house in over a week - tut, tut. After lunch we all headed down the beach with the dogs. Martha barked, Sweepie skipped about trying to find things to eat, I got ear-ache, Ray looked for sea-life and Jem lost the rock she likes to sit on. I think we walked for about two hours and it was really fun. Maybe not when we all started sinking in the soft sand but even that had its element of fun - we did get to scream hehe.

Today is Jem's birthday and so she's been given her presents. The visits by everyone started at 9:30 this morning and will probably last throughout the day. Tonight she gets the cake and the sing-song. Then tomorrow there's another meal out with the family! This has to be the longest birthday celebration ever!

Pictures are being added here ***

Happy Birthday, Jem :)

*** more pictures added

Labels: amber, beach, birthday, daddy, homo-erotic, house stuff, jem, mammy, martha, ray, rugby, sweepie

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |

My eyes are sore and useless. I have no idea what's wrong with them. I think they're just playing up cos I have an optician's appointment next weekend. I wish they'd stop being so tired. I can't get a thing done cos I can't read the words properly, which is giving me a headache. They'll be fine once the appointments done, of course. They'll magically start behaving themselves again. It's like when you go to the dentist, only in reverse. When I go to the dentist my teeth feel fine, then a couple of days later I'll get a toothache. It's always gone within a few days. Must be some kind of pyschological thing.

My eyes are probably tired cos I didn't go to sleep 'til late (I was having fun) and then have spent the morning running round doing stuff. The dogs needed walking, of course; then I had to go and start the shopping. Shop Day has become a bit of a nightmare now. Jem and I start the shopping in the morning, doing the supermarkets in town, picking up any bargains and any of the usual stuff we get from those shops. I always return home at lunchtime starving and with aching arms and shoulders from the heavy bags. By the time 7 o'clock hits this evening we'll be heading off to finish the rest of the shopping, at the two supermarkets that we need a car to get to. It'll be fine in the first shop, all of us giggling and laughing about weird products and how been as Sean Bean no longer endorses the store we're not even sure we want to be seen anywhere near it never mind purchasing goods from it! But by the time we reach the second and final store we all get tired and grumpy. Ray mopes behind with the trolley, feeling excluded; Jem wanders off and starts asking if we can add this to the trolley and that to the trolley; while I turn into a super bitch cos I'm having a panic attack trying to add up everything that's going into the trolley and making sure we can actually afford to pay for the stuff when we reach the check out. By the time we get home we're all usually very annoyed, grumpling at each other and mumbling profanities under our breath. Come Friday morning we'll have forgotten all about it. But it'll happen again the following week.

Shopping is just simply too exhausting. It should be an Olympic sport cos it just about kills me. Why was it so fun when I used to shop with Daddy? There was no stress, no arguments; we'd just shop and it was always fun.

I need to get my energy levels up by tomorrow cos we're celebrating Jem's birthday in the night. I will not have tired eyes. I will not have purple shadows under my eyes. For once I will go out looking pretty and nice and girlie. I have to try and remind Ray why he fell for me in the first place ;) I'm going to blame my tiredness on the fact that I'm back on the Pill after my week off. Seems like a good excuse to me ;)

Labels: birthday, daddy, house stuff, jem, money, ray, sex, shopping, the pill

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |

It's just taken my spanking new computer (okay, he's five months old, so maybe he's not spanking anymore...) about three hours to put 1.3GB of photos onto a DVD-disc capable of holding 4.7GB. I don't think it should have taken that long. So I think it must have been my technique. Maybe copy-and-pasting isn't the way to go when using Vista. It doesn't matter now cos my pictures are backed up and so if I accidently delete them (yes, I admit, I lost about six pictures the other day when I put the wrong files in the wrong folder and wrote over the existing pictures...) it won't matter.

This morning I powered up my parents' old computer, which they lent me so that I could get some work off floppy discs. New computers don't have floppy drives so when I found out my memory stick wasn't holding two of my larger novels I panicked about how I was going to retrieve them. Then I remembered my parents still had an old computer knocking about. I found a love-note to Ray on one of the discs that I for some reason hadn't given him. After reading it, I printed it out and am leaving it on the bed for him to find when he gets home from work. I hope it will make up for what happened last night, and help to explain my feelings for him and that as much as they are a work-in-progress, just look at the mess I got myself into when the feelings were instant. Last night was tough for us both. I wish the past could remain buried so that I could enjoy my present and future. Unfortunately life doesn't work out that way.

Good past reared its head a couple of weeks ago. It's taken me this long to mention it because I wasn't sure if it was sticking around. A girl I used to be best friend's with between the ages of three and eleven found me online and we've been coresponding via email for a few weeks. It seems we've lived nearly identical lives. We're going to meet up later this month and I have high hopes. You see, the past doesn't always have to mean badness. That's something I'm learning.

Labels: daddy, friends, laptop, life, love, mammy, photos, ray

by Ys | COMMENTS? 1 | permalink |

Did everyone spoil their mother this Mother's Day? I tell you, when people invent these holidays they don't think about what it's like when you're in a relationship and so have two sets of mother's to visit. Thank God neither of us have step-mother's as well (well, Ray does but she's never really liked him so she doesn't count). I don't know how you'd fit them all into one day!

I spent the morning with Ray's mother. That was nice. Everyone was in a happy mood and were telling tales and making me laugh. When Ray's gran is on she's really on and just makes me laugh the entire time I'm there. Even her tale about planting her daffodil bulbs upside down had me cracking up! Sunday's at Ray's family is often hectic. It's nice when you're feeling brave cos everyone is there and you get to hang out with the kids and the grown-ups and find out all the gossip. But when you're feeling a little fragile it can often be a little daunting. Being a kind boyfriend, Ray tends to keep me away on Sundays. But Mothering Sunday pretty much means it's going to fall on a Sunday. The key was to get there early enough to miss the mad rush. And we did. There was only three adults and two children.

After a quick lunch it was onto my parents' house. We went from a house filled with people to one filled with animals. There's no way to avoid the mad rush of animal welcomes in my house - you just have to put up with it, and wear clothes you don't mind getting hair and mud all over. We got my mother John Barrowman's Autobiography cos she's a dirty perv' who fancies him, plus the usual flowers and chocolates. The plan was to spend a couple of hours but I think we ended up staying for about four. Daddy needed Ray's help to put up a new door, and Mammy wanted to talk to us. So I held Poopy Wednesday in my arms and listened to all of Mammy's gossip.

It was a nice weekend, even if it was a bit busy. Saturday kind of disappeared on me as well. Ray worked in the morning and then when he got back we went back to bed ;) I'm learning there's more and more perks to living alone, you know? We got up to eat pizza and that was about it. So my long list of things to do never got done, well, all expect me, of course ;) So I've got to get everything done in the evenings this week now. I don't regret a thing.

Labels: daddy, family, in-laws, mammy, mother's day, puppies, ray, sex

by Ys | COMMENTS? 3 | permalink |

I had a visit from Poopy-Wednesday yesterday. She was exhausting. She's hit a very naughty stage. When she was quiet it was great but when she started running round again I suddenly remembered why I like to see the puppies go to new homes when they hit this age ;) Here's some photos from the day, if you want to see some dog-only pictures :)

Last night I found a bargain chair! You know how I said I wanted my room to have a blue colour-scheme? Well, I don't have a chair for my desk, cos the one I used to use at home was part of a set that belonged to Mammy and Daddy. So since we've moved in I've not been able to sit at my desk. So when I found a blue chair for only eight-pounds I just knew I had to get it! It's this one - but blue. Look at how happy my desk looks now:



It's really comfortable, too. I thought it would be quite nasty, what with the cheap price, but it's very nice, and it encourages me to sit correctly cos it has a proper straight back to it. Usually I just slump in chairs and get a really bad back. So it's cheap, comfortable, kind to my back, and blue! Perfect!

I used it today for the first time. Because today I started back writing, after an absence of... four months. I always knew I'd be taking about two months off to look after the pups, but then we moved as well and it's taken this long to settle and actually find the time and adjust my routine. I can't tell you how good it was to get back to it. I feel complete again. I'm working on the fourth volume of Soul Mates, which is my baby. "Soul Mates" is what got me writing good, got me writing regularly and just made me realise that writing is what I want to do. So I'm also calling the new blue chair a good luck charm been as it all went so well :)

Labels: daddy, dogs, house stuff, life, mammy, photos, puppies, soul mates, writing

by Ys | COMMENTS? 3 | permalink |

I've been unconscious since the weekend. My small cold turned nasty.

Saturday I spent the afternoon in bed watching the Wales V South Africa rugby match. I managed to get up at half-time and say hello to two sets of aunts and uncles (from my mother's side) who'd popped round. They don't just "pop round" very often. They live in England, we live in Wales. For some reason they never come to see us, whereas I know a lot of them do pop in on my uncle who lives ten minutes away.

The evening was spent on the sofa. Mammy got really weird - Post Sibling Visit Syndrome - and started saying some really messed up things. For some reason I found myself defending aunts and uncles I barely even know. Well, she was saying some weird stuff. As always, she took offence to what I said, and I was deemed the anti-Christ and that was that - she hasn't spoken to me since. Although she has been making up lies about me picking on one of the dogs - which is just insane cos I adore all the dogs. Her and my younger sister had a good old bitch. Younger sister stupidly told Jemma about it, who of course told me. I confronted Mammy about it; she was left speechless cos obviously her lie had been presented to her face. I don't think we've said more than two words to each other since. Ahh family dramas.

Of course, she had to pick now to have her funny five minutes, didn't she? I mean, I'm quite clearly ill as ill can be - and there she is picking fights! I haven't had the energy to fight back, hence the no talking.

My illness has got progressively worse. I didn't sleep at all Monday night and so spent Tuesday (yesterday) in a state of semi-consciousness. I sent Ray home at 9pm and crawled into bed with a bowl of Vicks and a towel over my head. I don't know whether it was just the Vicks but I slept pretty much right through the night. I'm feeling almost human again today.

It's my younger sister's birthday tomorrow, so if I don't blog again: Happy Birthday, Amber. She's going to be nineteen. Which is super weird cos she only seems about sixteen. I'm glad I'm feeling a bit better today cos I've got to get to a shop and buy her a card. I've had her present here for ages but now I've just got to summon up the energy to get to a shop.

I hate being ill. This week truly has been the worst week of 2007. I've not only been ill, been arguing with my parents, been ostrasised by them, but I also had some super shitty news about the something I didn't want to mention in one of the earlier posts. Yes, sounds cryptic, I know, but I'd just rather not talk about it. So all in all this week has sucked.

Labels: amber, arguing, birthday, daddy, family, illness, jem, mammy, ray, rugby

by Ys | COMMENTS? 5 | permalink |

Monday wasn't a very good way to start the week.

The pain I thought was wisdom tooth problems turned out to be a muscle pull in my jaw. I suspected it might be that. Not due to any kinky reasons. It just clicked Friday morning as I yawned before eating my breakfast. The pain was strange, though, so I suspected it was my wisdom tooth. But after a couple of days I realised that if I didn't talk for a few hours (while working) then the pain would be a lot less. My jaw/left-hand side of my mouth ached throughout Monday. To add to it I pulled my neck and left shoulder during the night and spent the day in pain, trying not to move my head too much. But the neck ache and jaw ache eventually led to a really bad headache. So I wasn't a happy bunny.

Last night Ray and Daddy started fitting the wooden floor in the living-room. It didn't go quite according to plan and they had to leave it with only a third completed at 10pm. That meant the living-room was left in a state and has been boycotted all day.

They're in the middle of completing it now. I'm on one of the sofas watching and working on the Joe Site. They're having to take one of the doors down to fit one of the panels. It looks like tonight is going to be another late one.

Today has been better. My neck ache is nearly all gone (thanks to a massage from Ray last night - don't I have the best boyfriend? He worked all day, spent all night fighting with my wonky walls and then massaged my aching neck!). And I've tried very hard not to talk too much so as to ease the use of my jaw. I mean, how are you meant to rest your jaw muscles? You use them all the time! I'm starting to think I'll either have to live with the discomfort or else get someone to punch me.

Other good news today is that my lovely new dress arrived - the one Mammy wanted to get me for Christmas. Isn't it gorgeous? (Ray don't you dare click on that link - the dress is a surprise for New Years Eve!). I adore it.

Ooh the door is almost off its hinges. And my laptop is nearly out of juice. Might be time for me to get a round of drinks in for the busy workmen.

Labels: daddy, illness, life, ray, shopping, websites

by Ys | COMMENTS? 4 | permalink |

I quit with the PHP. But not before I got it work for me, of course. I'm not that much of a quitter. I tried FlexPHPnews but I think I was just on a Stupid Day cos although I worked out the hard stuff - such as setting up the MySQL database and uploading the actual programme, I then couldn't for the life of me figure out where I was meant to upload the content. I had no programme to open. I logged in but then it just took me to the page I was trying to update. So I quit on that and searched around until Cute News seduced me. I took a few hours to familiarise myself with it, learn the codes and stuff. But once I figured it all out I realised it didn't really do what I wanted it to, which was organise the press on the site. It's more for updating news not archiving. So I've decided, although it may take some work, I'm going to do it by hand. If I use frames it'll be simple but I don't know if I want to... We'll see.

So, in the list of Things I Quit This Weekend you can add PHP.

Next, I quit on the rugby (local). In fairness I was told we couldn't get a lift down or back (to feed the dogs at dinner time) but even if I'd not been told that I wouldn't have wanted to go. Me and the rugby just aren't gelling anymore. The boys I was friends with don't talk to me anymore - bar one who probably only still talks to me cos he's in love with Jem. All the older guys say hello but there's a definite sense of you broke the rules from them cos we said they had drug problems in the club (which they do); but that's apparently not a thing to be said aloud.

I did go down to the pub in the evening, though, to watch the rugby (national). The young boys sat by us and entertained me with their usual sex-obsessed ways. I swear they think of nothing else. They also wrongly guessed me and Jem's ages. They said I was twenty-two and she was nineteen.

After that we felt we should show our support by attending the do upstairs. Most of the team went off into town so there was some upset from the committe members. I think there was about twenty of us up there watching a band called Voodosnakes. I'm sure they were great for everyone over the age of forty but for me they just weren't really my thing.

So halfway through the set, when they went on their break (they'd only been playing for fifteen minutes so why they needed a break I don't know), me, Jem and Ray disappeared downstairs, and then outside, and then home.

Today Ray and I were meant to be going to see Stardust in the cinema. I quit on that cos I just wasn't feeling too good. We went for a wander round our usual favourite place on a Sunday afternoon and even then didn't up buying anything; just spent a long time spraying each other with perfume testers to see if we liked any (we didn't). I got ill (dizzy and nauseous) and flaked out on the bed for a while. We then had a yummy chinese take-away mmm. And Amber's adorable friend Dan came round to try and fix our computer. His allergies were really bad so despite my best efforts (well, I did find a box of allergy tablets in the back of the cupboard after hearing him sniffling and sneezing continuously), he had to go home to finally be able to breathe.

Unfortunately I'm still on my period. I hope this is just a side-effect of starting the Pill and not going to be a continuous thing. Cos by day five I'm usually almost at the end of my cycle; the way I am now it looks as though it's going to hang on for a few more days yet. So I had to quit on sex as well, which I wasn't best pleased by.

Tomorrow Daddy and Ray are fixing the new wood floor in the living-room, which means I have to clear out the cupboard so they can move it out of the room. But the good news is this is all being done for Madge and the babies, who should all be with us by this time next week.

I'm glad to say goodbye to this weekend. And I didn't even mention the wisdom tooth pain (one of them is on the move)!

Labels: amber, daddy, gigs, jem, life, madge, puppies, ray, rugby, websites

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |

The problems I thought I'd be having my parents didn't actually materialise. Sometimes I think I wrongly expect the worst from them. I know I can't be blamed for thinking that way but it does make me feel bad when I'm proved wrong (except it makes me feel good at the same time, as well, obviously). They've been great this weekend - both of them. I think, as a lot of us do, especially when we're young and wrapped up in our own lives, I forgot to look at it from their perspective. From some things that they've said this weekend I think they're a little worried about what it'll be like for them when me and Jem move out next year. They'll still have Amber at home but two of their pups will have gone and that's a big section of the pack to lose. I think their recent behaviour has been a knee-jerk reaction to our plans to move out (not exclusively, obviously, I am well aware their lives do not solely revolve around me). It's sort of like their preparing little obstacles to keep themselves busy during the transition. And I think as an adult I need to let them have those obstacles. They didn't do it to make me feel like crap, didn't do it to prove that my problems were nothing and were allowed to be ridiculed whereas my other siblings are not; they did it because they needed to. And they've made a big show this weekend of making sure I didn't feel abandoned or over-looked, and that what I went through (and continue to go through) is not being ignored. We've had our problems through the years and when my parents act so caringly, so considerate of my feelings (regardless of my other two sisters, who they look after in which ever way they need) I am always surprised into silence and bemusement. It's been a good weekend with them. I feel very blessed.

Last night Ray, Jem and I went down the pub to watch the England V France match. It was very boring. Some of the younger boys kept stripping and jumping around the room in all their glory. While the older boys gave us some dirty looks and ignored us for the rest of the night. Ahh the rugby club, how I love it.

I had a take-out pizza last night, as well, mmm. Then Ray and I watched Moulin Rouge, which is such a bad film but the ending always makes me cry. Ray distracted me from my upset, though. I slept like a log last night. Best sleep I've had all week.

Now I've upset Sweepie by telling her off for jumping on the laptop. She's pouting at the end of the bed. Oh dear... Best go give her some attention...

Labels: daddy, family, films, jem, life, mammy, moving out, ray, rugby, sweepie

by Ys | COMMENTS? 1 | permalink |

I've spent the weekend curled up in or on my bed. No, it wasn't cos of kinky things.

Ten years ago I got terrible pains down my right-hand side. I vomited a little but the doctor just sent me away with painkillers. A month later it came back and this time a new doctor sent me to hospital with suspected appendicitis. It was quickly decided that wasn't the case and I was sent for a scan. Turns out I had cysts growing on my right ovary, they'd spun and pretty much screwed up a lot inside. Two months later I had an operation. They tried to save my ovary - I was only fourteen at the time so they tried to keep it. I went home feeling sore and old and tired but at least no longer worrying about cysts.

A year later I was back in hospital. The cysts had returned. So this time they took out my ovary (which was dead anyway) and then sent me on my way again.

Everything's been fine since then, apart from very painful and heavy periods (which is to be expected after my body's ordeal). Last month I had period pain that lasted forty-eight hours - non-stop. This month the pain in my right-hand side returned. And it stayed for forty-eight hours.

I've discussed it with my mother and she agrees that I shouldn't have more cysts on my right-hand side because the ovary that was making the cysts is no longer there. So it's possible but not very probable. She wondered if maybe it was scar-tissue giving me problems. Strange it suddenly starts acting up now, though. We ruled out pregnancy because of the heavy period and the heavy periods that have come every month before then. We wondered about a muscle pull, what with the pain feeling like a contraction, we knew it had to be muscle-related. But, as of yet, none of us can decide what's wrong with me. The female doctor isn't in 'til Thursday so I'll have to wait 'til then to see what she says. But this is the doctor that said there was nothing wrong with me the first time so I know I'm going to have to push her into sending me for a scan other wise she'll just tell me it's just period pain - which I know it's not.

So in between rolling around in pain, I got the house cleaned up in time for Mammy and Daddy's return from South Africa. I missed their return because I was in bed (it was 1:30am) but did get up at 7:30 the next morning to talk to them about it all. It sounds like an amazing holiday. Elephants and lions and giraffes; the pictures of the landscape are amazing. I'm quite jealous. The house is a mess again now, as we knew it would be after a return from a holiday, so I think I'll clean again today been as the pain has gone.

No word on when my laptop's coming yet. The last email I got said they were starting to process my order... Hurry up PC World!

Labels: daddy, doctors, holidays, hospital, illness, laptop, mammy, operations

by Ys | COMMENTS? 1 | permalink |

Because there was only one comment on the previous post I'm going to stick to my opinion - that she's feeling maternal towards Ray, and only liked me cos I turned up in a pretty, girlie dress, which always makes older ladies like you. If I'd have been in my jeans the outcome would have been much different, I'm sure.

I forgot to mention three new purchases. Probably because I haven't had chance to wear the new clothes, and don't have any pictures of them yet. So I'll have to use my descriptive talents (ha ha).

1. A knee-length cord black skirt. I adore it. I wasn't sure about the colour (I'd ordered a brown, too) because often an all-black skirt can look clumpy and really make my hips look wide (wider than what they actually are, I mean). But it's great. Which means I can wear most of my colourful tops with it now.

2. A black long-sleeve cardigan. My other black cardy got wrecked. The grey one I ordered was too long and weird. But the black one is perfect. Has button detail on the cuffs, as well. I can't tell you how much buttons turn me on.

3. A berry-coloured, girlie top. It's long-sleeved, falls to just below the wasit of my jeans (so not too short or long, as tends to be the style these days). It has sparkly buttons and sequin-things as detail on the front, and a non-slutty slit down the front to offer a small show of cleavage (I'm not into cleavage-y tops).

Very pretty. I did try a really cool pair of jeans, which had pink trim and, very exciting, a button-up fly inside of a zip. I wanted them just for the fun of getting Ray to unbutton them but they were boy-cut and I can't wear boy-cut style cos ... well, they just don't flatter girls with the more voluptuous figure; they don't flatter me anyway. Still, the buttons would have been fun...

Today I'm going into town to get Daddy a birthday present. I wanted to get him this as soon as I saw it. But I'm broke (as in only have £1 in my purse) and size Small is not there anymore. Sob. So off to town with Jemma's wad of money it is. Don't worry. I will have money by the end of the weekend. I have a dog-sitting job, at last. Only for the one night so hopefully that should mean minimum pouting from both Sweepie and Ray ;)

Labels: birthday, clothes, daddy, dog-sitting, ray, shopping, sweepie

by Ys | COMMENTS? 0 | permalink |

Yesterday, I had to go to the doctor's with Jemma for a blood-test. Usually she goes down the hospital, which is a little more convenient with the bus times. So, obviously knowing our luck, we ended up walking the 3.3miles home - most of which was uphill! It wasn't actually too bad, I suppose, but at the time I think I thought I was actually going to melt into the pavement, cos the sun decided to show it's face. But, we'd planned ahead and had picked up some cheese-pasties and iced-buns for lunch when we got home. Mmm. Lunch well-deserved, I think.

So to continue the theme of exhausting one's self. Here's a meme 3x Thursday:

1. On average, about how much sleep do you get in a night? Is it enough for you? Why/why not?

I sleep about eight hours a night, but it's always disturbed between six and eight o'clock by barking Pugs outside my window. So I usually wake up feeling tired. I find there's never enough sleep for my body, though.

2. Do you notice a difference in things when you don't get enough sleep for a period of time? What happens?

Oh Lord yes! I find everything frustrating and annoying when I'm tired. I also can't talk very well because I'm toot tired to remember the words. And I usually get pounding headaches, as well.

3. Generally when you sleep, do you sleep well? Why/why not?

When I go to sleep, I go out like a light. I am then known to sit up and shout at whoever else is in the room but I don't remember these times. I sleep right through then until the Pugs wake me up with their on/off barking (mother, put them back in the house already!).

Now, in all the excitement of the birthday meal and new clothes, I forgot to say that my younger sister passed her driving test Monday. Yes, she is now officially on the road - so be careful of her! ;) Hehehe, only kidding; I'm told she's very good. I'm a nervous passenger so I thought I'd better keep out of the car for now but I have said I'll go for a spin with her soon. Of course, rather worryingly, my father, having to be completely over the top, has now pretty much given up his car to her. Given up his own car to his eighteen-year-old daughter who doesn't have a job to pay for the car, the car that he has paid the insurance on, the tax, the MOT costs, and all the petrol that goes into it. Sometimes I wonder whether my parents are aware of the things they do. Hey, as long as she has that car when I need a lift somewhere I'm not even going to ask them about their decision ;) Well done, Amb! Be careful, okay?.

And, no, this does not mean I'm going to get the pull to learn to drive now. Every time I got the urge before we ended up crashing in Ray's car, so I've decided to heed God's advice and just stay as a nervous passenger, rather than a nervous driver. Too much power for me; it scares the crap out of me! I'm such a wimp.

Ooh, lookit that: the sun's out again! I might get some sunbathing done before lunch...

Labels: amber, daddy, doctors, driving, jem, mammy, meme, pugs, ray, walking, weather

by Ys | COMMENTS? 3 | permalink |

Here's a picture of Yoda, this was taken before the accident. I will get one of him looking grumpy in his cage when he's feeling a bit better; he's asleep now and don't want to wake him up:



To update from yesterday's post, he did not break his pelvis or any of his legs. His jaw is fine, a little bruised but that's all. His eye has righted itself completely now. All in all he is a very lucky boy. He has cracked his pelvis in two places but the only cure for that is cage-rest. So he's cage-ridden for the next six weeks. Already he's not impressed by that news. Last night, he somehow hauled his ass out of the top of the cage! In a way it's nice to see he's feeling that spunky, pelvic pain and all, but in another it's really sad cos he hates being indoors.

The poor cat has never had use to a litter tray since kittenhood and is deeply embarrassed about having to use one now. In fact he is refusing to go to the toilet at all at the moment. Aren't animals amazing creatures? I wish I had that kind of body-control. I just hope he heals really fast so he can get out and about with his friends again. The ex came round looking for him yesterday; later, Wang was seen with him on the drive, perhaps relaying what had happened. I have very human-ised pets, don't I?

In addition to my motherly duties, I managed to put my foot right in it last night at the in-laws house. "Big Brother" finished and granny asked me who I thought would be evicted tomorrow (today). Me, forgetting where I was, blurted out, "Well, it's going to be Amy, isn't it, cos she has nice ---" There I stopped. Both granny and mammy looked at me and asked, "What?" I went, "Um, well, Amy cos she has big boobs." Granny chuckled to herself, saying, "I thought you'd said something else then." Well, I had but wasn't about to admit that. It's just easier to keep the in-laws sweet and not mention the fact that I'm a little on the gay-side, considering the trouble I got myself into last time. I was mortified, not by what I'd said, cos I don't really mind if they know or not, but by the fact that I'd switched off so easily and completely forgotten who I was with. I am not to be trusted around people! I'm no good at sensoring myself. I need to be taught that.

Daddy wants me to fill something in for him. Promises if he wins he's going to donate £500 towards my moving-out fund. So I'm off to do it now...

Labels: daddy, gay, photos, yoda

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |

Yesterday might have been the best of summer for me. It was just one of those really nice days where everything was... well, nice.

The day started, as I said yesterday, with walking the horses from the bottom field to the top. That's an uphill walk and I do not do hills very well. I don't know why. I just think I don't have the legs for it - or the stamina or something. I've just always been crap with uphills. Even when I was a child I used to have to stop halfway up a hill for a breather. Crap lungs, I guess. I had two uncles, one aunt and two second-cousins with me yesterday. Everyone found the beginning of the hill hard but there didn't seem to be any stopping so I just let Meg's head go down into the grass - "Oops! Meg don't eat grass," I said outloud. "Stay there, good girl," I added under my breath. But after that brief stop I was okay. Me and my aunt walked up the back (meg also struggles with hills cos she's older) and just chatted all the way up the hill. Then we hit the flat of the cycle track and Meg decided she wanted to go up front, and suddenly had some spring in her step! That's okay for me - I can walk on flat for hours - it's the ups and downs I'm crap on. So I made it to the field in once piece. The horses got excited once in the field and me and Mammy got booted aside a little and only just stumbled out in time.

Then all of us humans had to walk back down to the original field via the park to get back to our cars. I ended up talking with one of my uncles - the one I looked after the house of - and he was telling me tales about when he and my gran thought they'd killed me this one time when they put me on a huge round-about and got it spinning really fast and I slowly slid off it and bounced across the park. I was okay but they didn't tell Mammy - except once in later years - in case she never let me and Jem go stay with them again, hehehe. Most of the injury stories from when I was a child involves me bouncing away from harm. I was a rather round child, I suppose...

Back at the cars, I had thanks and kisses off everyone - always nice - and then they set off back home and me and Mammy came back here. There was some lunch and then we went shopping because Mammy wanted to do a BBQ for everyone that night. On the way she told me some jokes, which she forgot the punchlines to so had me laughing for all the wrong reasons. We did some recycling and then headed home.

In the afternoon I sat in one of the garden chairs, curled my feet up underneath me and read my Harry Potter book (nearly finished it now). I did that until I stopped to feed the cats, read some more, then stopped to help with the BBQ. The BBQ-making was fun and we were all very impressed by how well we'd done. Then the men came home from work - Ray first, Daddy late. We ate 'til we burst, shoved an Ice-cream-Mars in as well then collapsed.

After a mug of coffee we took Martha and Sweepie up the road for an evening walk, which are always nice. Then it was back home for a game of Halo 2 for Ray because he's stuck on this one bit (we all got stuck there but me and Jem have completed it now and Ray is most embarrassed at being beaten by a couple of girls, espeically when he's been playing the game like an expert for years). He's still stuck!

We then cuddled up on the sofa to watch "Big Brother". Anyone else think this Halfway House stuff is a bit crap? To be honest, it all seems to have gone a bit pants now. We've had the conclusions to two of the main things: 1. Charlie got evicted and now knows she is a silly bitch (well, whether she knows it or not I don't know actually...); 2. Chanelle finally realised Ziggi was treating her like crap and only saying he liked her to look good when really he doesn't want her at all. So after some late-night dry-humping, the next day he dumped her, and said some rather nasty things; after that she pretty much decided she'd be better off leaving. She seems really nice out of the house, as well. But in the house seems boring at the moment. The new housemates are pants, the original housemates are just sad and mopey cos their friends either keep leaving or getting shoved into the Halfway House. All seems a bit lame. It'd better pick up again soon.

I ended the night with my Harry Potter book again :) Very nearly finished it now. Which will be sad, but good, like it always is when you finish a book you're enjoying.

And that was my Best Day of Summer... so far...

Labels: bbq, big brother, daddy, family, halo, harry potter, horses, jem, life, mammy, martha, ray, reading, sweepie

by Ys | COMMENTS? 1 | permalink |