I think I'm ill. Well, I am ill right now but I think it might stick around. Hopefully it's just a twenty-four hour bug but I'm not holding my breath on that one. I haven't had a cold for a month now so I suppose I'm due my next one now. Can you tell I'm bitter about it?

This morning I found a bill waiting in the mail. New Council Tax bill. It hasn't actually gone up much at all. We were expecting it be a lot higher. I approximated Ray and I would be spending £60 a month on our share of it and it turns out it's just a little less than that. So well done me and my estimated bills! Incidently of the three letters we got today only one was actually for us. The other one was for the person who used to live here - a year ago! The other one was for next door. The postal service is quite shite. How can they justify upping the cost of stamps?

I'm in the process of uploading Terry Pratchett's disc world audio-book onto my laptop. Mammy gave me discs one and two to listen to. I listened to the first twenty minutes or so of the first disc in the car on the way to the vets last week. It made me laugh. So I've decided to save them for when I'm in the mood for a smoke. Tony Robinson reads it in a hilarious dead-pan tone. I wonder if I'd find it as funny if I read the books instead of listened to Tony reading them to me?

After some nagging, I made Martha a new layout for her blog; please click to view:



Well, I think I might take a bath and see if I can't steam out the germs festering in the back of my throat. It's such a lovely sunny day, as well; what a waste!

Labels: house stuff, illness, post, ray, terry pratchett

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |

I'm feeling direction-less today. I just seem to be stumbling along accidently finding things to do that take up hours of my time. Pretty meaningless stuff as well now I think about it. Just tweaking the layout and adding new icons to my writing journal. I'll probably go back and play with it some more in a bit. Sometimes HTML just talks to you, doesn't it? And it positively demands you to pay attention to what it has to say.

I was woken early this morning by a bad dream. I jumped across the bed calling Ray. I'd had another bad dream. They're usually dreams about him cheating on me and me finding out in the most awful way possible. This one was slightly different where I knew he was probably cheating on me, although technically he wasn't because we'd apparently split up. The most upsetting part of it all was that his entire family were trying - successfully - to keep us apart. Although the dream was about Ray he didn't actually feature in it at all. I'm not sure if everyone dreams as vividly as I do. Does everyone get reduced to tears by bad dreams? I wonder if I have emotionally-vivid dreams whereas everyone else has visually-vivid dreams. Whatever it is, and whatever the reason for the bad dreams (doesn't take a genius to work out I'm having a pyschotic Ys-style reaction to the adjustment of living with Ray), I just want it all to stop. If I'm not flailing around hitting Ray in the face all night, I'm waking myself up moaning, or else dreaming these horrid dreams. Maybe there's a ghost here and it harasses me all night... or maybe I'm just insane because of my lack of real sleep for about two weeks now.

At least it's Friday today, which means Torchwood (did they shift the day it was aired cos the viewing figures are so high for this season? *cough* some of us liked it from the first series *cough*), and mmm-mmm burger-in-bun night. Friday night is officially the best part of the weekend for me.

This was a bit of a direction-less post as well, wasn't it? Never mind. Have a good weekend! Think of poor me who'll have to eat Dominoes Pizzas tomorrow night because tomorrow is our Take Out Saturday Day... ;)

Labels: dreams, house stuff, live journal, quorn, ray, torchwood, websites

by Ys | COMMENTS? 3 | permalink |

I've been watching The Matrix Trilogy this week. I'd forgotten just how much that film(s) blows me away. It was weird for me to like something so much and yet not get obsessed with it. I watched the first film pretty much two times a day for about a week after I got it. When I was bought the 10-disc box set for Christmas I was pretty much in heaven. It's those discs I'm introducing Ray to now. It took me over six months to watch them all so I think he'll have his work cut out.



We've started watching The Animatrix disc that came with the box set every night when we're in bed. So far we've taken it in turns to fall asleep. Which works out quite well cos the episodes I missed the first night I got to watch the second night when Ray was asleep. I adore the Animatrix stuff. I'm not into the whole online community of it and know very little about the whole thing - what I do know is it is very pretty and I love watching the stories.



I think I'll need to make myself a couple of Matrix wallpapers for my laptop. And I suppose once I've exhausted the discs I'll start nagging for the Matrix games. If they're any good.

Labels: films, ray, the matrix, xbox 360

by Ys | COMMENTS? 3 | permalink |

I had a great Easter weekend. Did a lot of eating, a little drinking and quite a bit of shopping so all in all I think it was a success.

Saturday night we tried the pub down the road. It's closer than the pubs/bars in town, and we've eaten there before so we know the food's nice, but we'd never just had drinks there before. We had some change so we figured we'd give it a go. It was lovely. Nice and warm and cosy. And I got to try out my new glasses in a pub environment. Here's the brown/orange ones...



And a bit of a crappy photo of the black/red ones as well:



I'm starting to wonder how I coped without them now. I got really frustrated when I was trying to read something up on a high shelf in Tesco; I had to get Ray to tell me what it said. And the TV is just so blurry without them. Ray and I have been playing the When Can You Read That Road Sign game. He wins every time. Showing off cos he can see and I can't... ;)

Sunday was spent with Ray's family and then mine. I had a really nice day just sitting round other people's houses, then coming home to eat a huge meal before getting back the second time to mounds of cake (cake was our Easter treat). Mmm.

On Monday Ray and I spent the whole day together, just the two of us. It seems like ages since we last did that. We went shopping and just slowly wandered around picking up bargains without even having to try. We each had a gift for £8. I had purple version of this T-shirt cos it was just too cute to resist. And Ray got a game for the xbox360. We also picked up a new shelf, a curtain pole and three kitchen-knives for the house. We had a lovely hot chocolate when we got back - cos we didn't want to go home straight away we called in on town and had a drink together. It was a really nice day. One of those ones where I kept falling in love with Ray over and over again. And how exciting is all that stationary in Borders? I was nearly passing out with excitement!

Back to the real world now, though. Ray went back to work today, I have to clean the house and get back to writing. We have to start trying to squeeze in everything that needs doing in the few hours we have between Ray coming home from work and us going to bed. Still, it was a good weekend and one I think we all definitely needed.

Check out some photos from the weekend HERE.

PS: The Tudors Series 2 - whee!

Labels: easter, glasses, holidays, house stuff, photos, ray, shopping

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |

The new glasses are great. I picked them up yesterday afternoon from the opticians. When I first put them on I didn't notice much difference and then the guy asked me to look around the room and make sure they were okay. I picked them up off my nose, looked through my eyes and then put the glasses back on and everything just cleared right up. So there'll be no more squinting off into the distance trying to make out faces and sights. I used them for the first time last night when Jem was playing Halo 3. I can't tell you how much of a difference they made. It was like I could finally see how the game was supposed to look. And there were no headaches. The only thing I have to do now is get used to always putting them on when I watch TV. I forgot a few times last night but I'm sure it'll come in time. I was going to take some photos of me wearing them but my hair is such a mess today that I'd rather wait until I'm feeling more presentable. I am vain, yes. I was wrong about the colour of my second pair, though. They are orange but the orange is on the inside; on the outside they're a lovely brown colour. I adore both pairs but I think I've decided my black/red ones are for in the house and when visiting family; while the brown/orange ones will be my out-and-about pair. Ray and I christened the black/red ones last night so I think it'll be the brown/orange one's turn tonight ;)

My afternoon out with my old friend was lots of fun. I wasn't in a very talkative mood but that was okay; there were no awkward silences or anything. It was really weird. It was as if we'd been friends for years. We'll be meeting up more regularly from now on, I think. It's nice to have a friend living close by who I can go and visit cos all of my friends live off around the country so I hardly ever see them in person.

Sweepie is on tablets for her epilepsy now, and so far there hasn't been anymore fits or fainting episodes. I'm still watching her like a hawk, though. The tablets have made her quite dopey, though, and her sleepiness has made her grumpy. Poor Martha has been on the receiving end of most of her complaints this week. But we've halved the dosage now (cos she kept stumbling about cos the dosage was a bit too high for her and so was making her too dopey) so I'm hoping her mood will improve again. I'll just be relieved when I know the tablets are definitely working and I no longer have to worry about her when she's on her own. Being a mother is very stressful.

Labels: epilepsy, friends, glasses, life, martha, ray, sex, sweepie

by Ys | COMMENTS? 3 | permalink |

I do need glasses. Turns out I'm short-sighted in my right eye, and my eyes are wonky, which means they are arguing over which one will focus on what I'm looking at. Hence the headaches and blurry vision. I have picked out two frames (I had a two-for-one offer), with the help of Mammy.

The first pair I chose just jumped off the shelf at me. I adored them as soon as I put them on. They're black frames with red borders (the red isn't as bright as the picture makes them look).



The second free pair were a little harder to find. I knew I wanted either a green or orange pair and they had to be quite thick frames. In the end I found the orange version of these, which Mammy says look very summery so I'll have a pair for the sunny weather too ;)



I'm picking them up tomorrow afternoon. I will then no longer get headaches or eye-strain when I'm writing on the computer, reading, watching TV and playing the xbox360. I can't wait! And been as I only need them when doing those things I don't have to wear them all the time and get sick of them, which suits me fine cos you know fickle I can be.

I should have pictures of me sporting those new frames within the next couple of days. Today I'm going to meet my old friend from primary school. I imagine the entire afternoon will be spent talking and remeniscing, and eating cake! Incidently, she was the first person I knew (other than my father) who wore glasses.

Labels: glasses, life, photos

by Ys | COMMENTS? 3 | permalink |

Needless to say: the money ran out. The week-long celebrations finally caught up with us and the bank account hehe. So we're pretty much housebound for this weekend. That's okay. It was a fun week celebrating Jem's birthday; we have another month to recover in time for my birthday ;)

This week hasn't been too good actually. Everything just got on top of me Wednesday night. Moving out is quite stressful. I'm good with emotional stress but it seems financial stuff gets to me in the end. It was just realising that we'd spent over a hundred pound in one week that set me into a panic. Plus we still haven't had a gas or electric bill so we're not even sure that we're saving enough for them. How much is an average monthly bill (combined)? On top of that there's still the stress with the estate agent, which we haven't felt brave enough to sort out yet. We have promised each other that tonight is the night.

Money aside, there's problems with Sweepie. She had a seizure yesterday. She's had a few fainting episodes throughout her life but these last few months they've become more regular and then yesterday she had a full-on seizure. So today she's gone to the vets with Mammy to see what tablet she needs to be put on. That's been very upsetting :/

So I'm just hoping that nothing else goes wrong now. At least the roof didn't blow off when the storms hit... I think most people seem to be having one of these weeks, though. There's not a lot happening on the blogs I read. Must be something about the second week of March that sets everyone off. I can't wait for it to be over.

Labels: birthday, house stuff, jem, money, ray, seizure, sweepie

by Ys | COMMENTS? 3 | permalink |

This weekend was spent celebrating Jem's birthday. The actual date of her birthday is only today but that didn't stop us starting the celebrations Friday night ;)

We spent a long and lazy afternoon deciding what to wear. There was a lot of pouting, much grabbing of excess flab and turning this way and that to try and get every angle possible of whatever dress we'd decided to try on. Usually such things would bore me. I usually just grab something out of the wardrobe and wear it without giving it much thought. As I've got older - or maybe just cos I now have a boyfriend I really want to impress - I've grown to like playing dress-up.

So Friday evening we walked into town in our dresses (Ray obviously wearing a shirt and trousers, instead of a dress; he just wasn't feeling comfortable in his evening gown ;D). We met up with Mammy, Daddy, Amber and Uncle Bryan for a meal first. The meal was nice but the portions quite small. And there was no decent desert! Not a chocolate cake in sight! I don't think I stopped talking throughout the entire meal. Usually I'm quiet and just sit giggling with Jem or Ray (depending on who's with me). Turns out when you don't live with the people you're dining out with you have lots more to talk about!

Once the meal was finished us three headed into town for drinks. None of us were keen on going to a nightclub and getting harassed by desperados so we decided on a couple of bars instead. Turns out Friday night is Old Person's On The Pull Night. Now, usually, Ray would have all the old ladies chasing him (he attracts them in their thousands) but that night it was actually me and Jem getting harassed by the older people. In the second bar we found some young people and we all seemed to gravitate to the third floor and sat there sipping out vodka-lemonades 'til we were all suitably tipsy.

Saturday was spent watching Wales beat Ireland in the rugby. They've now won the Triple Crown so there was much homo-erotic man-hugging on the pitch. Yum.

Sunday I spent about two hours cleaning. It was exhausting but it was needed. I haven't properly cleaned the house in over a week - tut, tut. After lunch we all headed down the beach with the dogs. Martha barked, Sweepie skipped about trying to find things to eat, I got ear-ache, Ray looked for sea-life and Jem lost the rock she likes to sit on. I think we walked for about two hours and it was really fun. Maybe not when we all started sinking in the soft sand but even that had its element of fun - we did get to scream hehe.

Today is Jem's birthday and so she's been given her presents. The visits by everyone started at 9:30 this morning and will probably last throughout the day. Tonight she gets the cake and the sing-song. Then tomorrow there's another meal out with the family! This has to be the longest birthday celebration ever!

Pictures are being added here ***

Happy Birthday, Jem :)

*** more pictures added

Labels: amber, beach, birthday, daddy, homo-erotic, house stuff, jem, mammy, martha, ray, rugby, sweepie

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |

My eyes are sore and useless. I have no idea what's wrong with them. I think they're just playing up cos I have an optician's appointment next weekend. I wish they'd stop being so tired. I can't get a thing done cos I can't read the words properly, which is giving me a headache. They'll be fine once the appointments done, of course. They'll magically start behaving themselves again. It's like when you go to the dentist, only in reverse. When I go to the dentist my teeth feel fine, then a couple of days later I'll get a toothache. It's always gone within a few days. Must be some kind of pyschological thing.

My eyes are probably tired cos I didn't go to sleep 'til late (I was having fun) and then have spent the morning running round doing stuff. The dogs needed walking, of course; then I had to go and start the shopping. Shop Day has become a bit of a nightmare now. Jem and I start the shopping in the morning, doing the supermarkets in town, picking up any bargains and any of the usual stuff we get from those shops. I always return home at lunchtime starving and with aching arms and shoulders from the heavy bags. By the time 7 o'clock hits this evening we'll be heading off to finish the rest of the shopping, at the two supermarkets that we need a car to get to. It'll be fine in the first shop, all of us giggling and laughing about weird products and how been as Sean Bean no longer endorses the store we're not even sure we want to be seen anywhere near it never mind purchasing goods from it! But by the time we reach the second and final store we all get tired and grumpy. Ray mopes behind with the trolley, feeling excluded; Jem wanders off and starts asking if we can add this to the trolley and that to the trolley; while I turn into a super bitch cos I'm having a panic attack trying to add up everything that's going into the trolley and making sure we can actually afford to pay for the stuff when we reach the check out. By the time we get home we're all usually very annoyed, grumpling at each other and mumbling profanities under our breath. Come Friday morning we'll have forgotten all about it. But it'll happen again the following week.

Shopping is just simply too exhausting. It should be an Olympic sport cos it just about kills me. Why was it so fun when I used to shop with Daddy? There was no stress, no arguments; we'd just shop and it was always fun.

I need to get my energy levels up by tomorrow cos we're celebrating Jem's birthday in the night. I will not have tired eyes. I will not have purple shadows under my eyes. For once I will go out looking pretty and nice and girlie. I have to try and remind Ray why he fell for me in the first place ;) I'm going to blame my tiredness on the fact that I'm back on the Pill after my week off. Seems like a good excuse to me ;)

Labels: birthday, daddy, house stuff, jem, money, ray, sex, shopping, the pill

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |

This morning Ray's alarm woke me at 7am. It seems to get earlier every day - and an extra ten minutes earlier, I'm sure, on the mornings when I didn't sleep well during the night. I tell myself that it's just part of living with someone else. His schedule isn't the same as mine - he has a proper job, which means he has to get set his alarm for seven o'clock - when it's still dark outside! It doesn't mean he gets up at that time, though. He just likes to set the alarm and then roll over, kiss my nose and hold me for the next twenty-or-so minutes. On good mornings (usually when I've slept well), I hug him back, take a deep breath of his sweaty morning smell, and try to go back to sleep, while all the while secretly hoping I can stay awake and enjoy the quiet closeness of the moment. On bad mornings (usually when I haven't slept so well cos his body temperature is so high it makes me wake up throwing the blankets off myself in a panic...) I let him hold me, screw my eyes shut and pray that he gets out of bed soon so I can try and go back to sleep for the precious forty minutes before my alarm wakes me.

This morning I decided to reverse the roles. Fair enough: it was still his alarm that woke us both up. And it was him who turned to me, kissed my nose and then wrapped his arms around me. But when the twenty minutes were up, I curled my arm around his neck and wouldn't let go. "You want to me stay?" he asked. I nodded my head. Ten minutes later he said, "I'm really going to have to get up now." I shook my head and clung on tighter. I didn't let him get up 'til 7:50. He was squirming cos he needed to pee and Jem had already got up and gone in the shower. I tried not to giggle but it was kinda funny. So I curled my arms around his neck and dragged him back to the bed. He leaned over me for another five minutes before Jem finally vactated the bathroom and he went running.

That should have made him late for work. But his lift showed up thirty-five minutes late. It was in fact me who was late for my shopping-date with Mammy. So I ran around like a lunatic getting ready while he sat on the sofa sipping coffee, smiling as I sped by, stopping me for a kiss now and again.

One of these days I'll make him run to my schedule ;) But then again where would be the fun in that?

Shopping-wise I didn't do any, which is great cos I had no money. But I have booked myself in to get my hair cut next month.

Labels: hair cut, house stuff, life, love, mammy, ray, shopping

by Ys | COMMENTS? 3 | permalink |

It's just taken my spanking new computer (okay, he's five months old, so maybe he's not spanking anymore...) about three hours to put 1.3GB of photos onto a DVD-disc capable of holding 4.7GB. I don't think it should have taken that long. So I think it must have been my technique. Maybe copy-and-pasting isn't the way to go when using Vista. It doesn't matter now cos my pictures are backed up and so if I accidently delete them (yes, I admit, I lost about six pictures the other day when I put the wrong files in the wrong folder and wrote over the existing pictures...) it won't matter.

This morning I powered up my parents' old computer, which they lent me so that I could get some work off floppy discs. New computers don't have floppy drives so when I found out my memory stick wasn't holding two of my larger novels I panicked about how I was going to retrieve them. Then I remembered my parents still had an old computer knocking about. I found a love-note to Ray on one of the discs that I for some reason hadn't given him. After reading it, I printed it out and am leaving it on the bed for him to find when he gets home from work. I hope it will make up for what happened last night, and help to explain my feelings for him and that as much as they are a work-in-progress, just look at the mess I got myself into when the feelings were instant. Last night was tough for us both. I wish the past could remain buried so that I could enjoy my present and future. Unfortunately life doesn't work out that way.

Good past reared its head a couple of weeks ago. It's taken me this long to mention it because I wasn't sure if it was sticking around. A girl I used to be best friend's with between the ages of three and eleven found me online and we've been coresponding via email for a few weeks. It seems we've lived nearly identical lives. We're going to meet up later this month and I have high hopes. You see, the past doesn't always have to mean badness. That's something I'm learning.

Labels: daddy, friends, laptop, life, love, mammy, photos, ray

by Ys | COMMENTS? 1 | permalink |

Did everyone spoil their mother this Mother's Day? I tell you, when people invent these holidays they don't think about what it's like when you're in a relationship and so have two sets of mother's to visit. Thank God neither of us have step-mother's as well (well, Ray does but she's never really liked him so she doesn't count). I don't know how you'd fit them all into one day!

I spent the morning with Ray's mother. That was nice. Everyone was in a happy mood and were telling tales and making me laugh. When Ray's gran is on she's really on and just makes me laugh the entire time I'm there. Even her tale about planting her daffodil bulbs upside down had me cracking up! Sunday's at Ray's family is often hectic. It's nice when you're feeling brave cos everyone is there and you get to hang out with the kids and the grown-ups and find out all the gossip. But when you're feeling a little fragile it can often be a little daunting. Being a kind boyfriend, Ray tends to keep me away on Sundays. But Mothering Sunday pretty much means it's going to fall on a Sunday. The key was to get there early enough to miss the mad rush. And we did. There was only three adults and two children.

After a quick lunch it was onto my parents' house. We went from a house filled with people to one filled with animals. There's no way to avoid the mad rush of animal welcomes in my house - you just have to put up with it, and wear clothes you don't mind getting hair and mud all over. We got my mother John Barrowman's Autobiography cos she's a dirty perv' who fancies him, plus the usual flowers and chocolates. The plan was to spend a couple of hours but I think we ended up staying for about four. Daddy needed Ray's help to put up a new door, and Mammy wanted to talk to us. So I held Poopy Wednesday in my arms and listened to all of Mammy's gossip.

It was a nice weekend, even if it was a bit busy. Saturday kind of disappeared on me as well. Ray worked in the morning and then when he got back we went back to bed ;) I'm learning there's more and more perks to living alone, you know? We got up to eat pizza and that was about it. So my long list of things to do never got done, well, all expect me, of course ;) So I've got to get everything done in the evenings this week now. I don't regret a thing.

Labels: daddy, family, in-laws, mammy, mother's day, puppies, ray, sex

by Ys | COMMENTS? 3 | permalink |