Labels: christmas

by Ys | COMMENTS? 4 | permalink |

Seeing Take That was lots and lots of fun - as always. Because it was up in Manchester we had a long drive ahead of us. We sang along to all the Take That albums and I took some photos of the scenery, been as we'd taken the scenic route instead of the motorway way.



We got into Manchester at about four. Everyone drives crazy there. They were doing U-turns in the middle of the busy main road! Because we got lost we decided to join in with the manic driving hehe. When we finally did get into the hotel we all went a bit insane. I laughed so much I collapsed on the floor and nearly vomited. Mammy always makes me laugh like a crazy person hehe. Check out the view of the Manchester Wheel from my hotel window:



This is what I wore to the gig, although the picture was taken after it cos we'd forgotten to take pictures before we left. That's the cardigan I got in Portugal last year and I still adore it :)



Well, the show itself, what can I say? I don't think it's possible to ever have a bad Take That show. Every one I've been to has been full of energy and light and excitment. And Friday night was no exception. I danced and sang my ass off. I took a couple of crappy pictures on my phone...





They're all looking so much older than they did when I saw them last year... And I like it ;) It's so sexy. Mmm. Hehehehe. Honestly, if you get a chance to see this band: do it! They will not disappoint. If you can't get a ticket, go and buy one of their Live DVD's, cos even on the TV screen the shows look amazing.

After very little sleep (Mammy snores very loudly), and a lovely huge breakfast, we headed home again. We passed this really creepy looking tree-guy. I didn't get a great picture of him but, well, he still creeps me out!



What is he all about?

Now I've got a present to get completed by Christmas Day... I dunno if I'm going to get it finished on time. Still, I wouldn't have missed Take That for the world ;)

Labels: christmas, gigs, mammy, photos, presents, take that

by Ys | COMMENTS? 1 | permalink |

This year the Christmas festivities have been really strange for me. Usually I adore Christmas - I'd even go so far as to say it is my favourite time of year. I love buying presents for people, figuring out what they'd like, finding lots of small gifts to surprise them with. I love the decorations, the chocoloate and the drink. I love, love, love Christmas Day Lunch. The Christmas of 2005 is still my most favourite Christmas in recent years. Not that very much happened, it was just a really nice family time.

This year I've been distracted. I was house-hunting at the beginning of the month, then I found the house and have spent the last however-long (it seems like months now!) arranging bills, furniture, moving dates, signing forms and paying the bond. And because we're moving the weekend after New Years I know that Christmas will just pass by in a blur of excitement and nerves as I await the date. Which is a shame. 'Cause I really enjoy Christmas.

I did get slightly festive when the Christmas tree went up:



And even Sweepie got into the spirit of things. Usually she hates me tying anything round her neck but she wore this all night:





I had my first commission cheque for Shadows on Monday. That was super exciting. So thank you to those who bought it, and boo-hiss to those who didn't ;) I think this makes me an official author now - payment for a published book! How very, very exciting. Could the end of this year get any more surreal for me? A published book and a house to call my own! So when do I wake up and realise it was all a dream?

I am going to be AWOL for the next couple of days cos I'm going up to Manchester to see... Take That. Sigh, Gary Barlow (right). Take That were the band that introduced me to homo-eroticism; I was nine years old at the time. I probably owe them some kind of commission for inspiring my love for boy-love and therefore writing novels about it... Anyway, I'm going to see them so I'll be whooping and hollering and trying to catch Gary's eye ;)

I hope you all have a great weekend too!

Labels: christmas, gary barlow, moving out, new years, photos, self-publishing, shadows, sweepie, take that

by Ys | COMMENTS? 1 | permalink |

I think the stress of the move got to me this weekend.

It wasn't over the move itself. I adore the house, I really want to live with Ray, I can't believe how great the location is - I get a view of the sea and as many walks as I can handle along the sand. I'm in charge of the finances so I know we can afford to move. It'll be tight in the very beginning as we all adjust and the upfront bills are paid but money shouldn't really be a huge problem for us. I've been ready to move out for a very long time. I'm very into my own independence; I've always been good at looking after myself; I've run a house for five people; I can run one for three easily enough. So what was the problem? I quickly found out it was Ray. Not him but my insecurities over our relationship. This paragraph in my diary really summed it all up:

Insane with my love for Ray; insane with worry that he can't love me, he can't, cos Iim such a horrid person; insane with fear that he will now be taking care of me and therefore will grow to hate me. Insane basically.

Yes, over eighteen months in and I'm still unable to accept his feelings for me. I'd love to be really open about where those feelings stem from but I really don't want to go into it on the blog. Those times are done (mostly) and dragging it all up just wouldn't be helpful for anyone - and certainly not me. I got very annoyed with myself. I hate all that pathetic "poor me" shit. Sure, I've had my head messed with, I have weird emotions connected with people who claim to like me never mind love me: but that doesn't mean I have to let it rule my future. So I get really annoyed with myself when I get like this.

I ended up accusing Ray of cheating on me with pretty much every person he came into contact with. I cried (another thing I hate doing in company). Amazingly, he didn't shout at me, didn't get offended, he did that thing that freaks me out more: he put his arms around me and told me he still loved me. I keep on trying to sabotage this relationship and he won't let me. What's wrong with him?

I'm feeling much better now. It took a couple of days but I think I might be coming back to normal - whether that's sane or not is a matter of opinion har har.

Labels: life, love, me, moving out, ray

by Ys | COMMENTS? 3 | permalink |

I've darkened the red and made the font size a 7.5pt instead of a 7pt. Jeez, you're a bunch of whiners ;) Hehehe, only kidding. Is it better now? Or do you want me to just scrap the red altogether?

I have some VERY exciting news. Remember how I said I'd found that lovely house the day before yesterday? Well, we went to see another one last night. The street it was in was amazing. It was filled with uber expensive cars and these huge houses. It was just perfect. But inside the house was small and for three people it would have been too cramped. We went for a walk, then a drive, ended up down the beach contemplating the two houses. We talked for ages finally decided that we liked the first house (the two-bedroom) best of all, what with it's proximity to the sea and town.

So the big news? We rang the estate agent this morning and he said it's ours. We pay the bond tonight and then it's ours! Come the first week of January we'll be paying the first month's rent and then moving in. I'm moving out! I've actually found the perfect house and I'm moving out! I don't think it's really sunk in yet. Maybe once we've signed the papers tonight it'll feel more real. Right now I'm still thinking something will go wrong.

So let me know about the reds and blacks on this page and if I'm not out celebrating the new house then I'll fix it up for you :) Whee!!!!!

Edit @ 2pm

I forgot (cos I'm terrible at remembering) that today is Sizzle's The 2nd Annual Reveal Your Blog Crush Day, wherein I chose my favourite blogger and say why. This is fun :)

Okay, I want to start by saying that I adore all the blogs I read (links to the left), hence why I read them. Some of those blogs I never comment on for one of the following reasons: I never know what to say, or, they have heaps of commenters anyway and I feel my comment wouldn't add anything new to the proceedings. No comments doesn't mean I don't enjoy or that I don't read every post, cos I do. There's just some people I feel I know better than others. I'm shy and leaving comments for strangers can be daunting. Plus I don't comment to get comments on my own blog. That's why I think that guy's email bugged me a little cos I don't have a blog to be popular. I have "real life" people who read the blog and really they were the only "audience" I was expecting to have. I comment cos I want to: not for return comments!

Anyway, my favourite blogger... Well, I love reading Heather @ Dooce's posts cos she just always makes me laugh. Jen @ Sush-Cat and Hilary @ AFHOTWH I think of in the same way - both adorable and girlie, and something I'll never ever be ;) Fink Angel is my only boy blogger - why is that? No boys blogging? Or is my blog not boy-friendly? Could it be all the homoerotic obsessions?

There could only be one winner for me this year. Absolutely no contest, to be honest. Gen, who can be found @ Live Journal and up-until-very-recently Collateral Damage. What can I say about Gen and her blogs? Well, she's very honest. She has some posts that she thinks through clearly and they have a start and middle and an end, and they're always fun to read. And then there's my favourite type of posts: when she's angry or upset or excited and she just lets everything blurt out with typos and exclamation points. In the blogging world honesty is so rarely seen. And such open honesty about the raw and personal parts of your life is pretty much never seen. Gen has become a friend. Every day I log into Live Journal to read her latest entry. We've discussed religion, boys, sex, life, family, happiness, sadness - everything. Her honesty matches mine and so I've found our discussions really great - I know only one other person that's as honest with me (Jem). Gen also leaves great comments, which are always fun to read. So, Gen, you win. You are my blogging crush of 2007 :)

Labels: layout, moving out, websites

by Ys | COMMENTS? 3 | permalink |

I've upset a through-visitor with my blog layout. Brian emailed me to say the following:

I found a link to your blog from another site. Unfortunately, I can't read your blog - the type is sooo small and those loud colours make my eyes spin. Perhaps you've made it deliberately difficult to read, as some sort of post-modern reverse double-bluff? Or maybe not. But really, any casual visitor will just give up and move on (as I did).

I didn't think the colours were that bright. They're okay on my screen anyway. The other computer has a gel-screen, too, so the colours look the same on there. I always view it on maximum screen size; maybe it helps. Anyone know what a post-modern reverse double-bluff is, though? I told him I didn't know what it was - perhaps it's my age, hehe. I think it's pretty cool to have some fan mail, though. I wonder if he bought my book while he was passing through ;)

Good news on the house searching. One of the houses we saw last night is a very good candidate. We just have to wait and see if the landlord will take our babies. So that's very exciting :) And we're seeing another house tonight, which looks very pretty, but isn't as great an area for us all. Hopefully one of these houses will work out for us. I think we're all hesitantly excited about it.

Jemma fell over today - right onto her butt in front of the computer. Why is that people falling over always makes you laugh no matter what time of day it is?

Labels: blogging, dogs, jem, layout, moving out, shadows, websites

by Ys | COMMENTS? 3 | permalink |

Last night I watched Sex Bloggers, because a girl who's blog I read was in it. Believe it or not, I had no idea of the hype around Abby/Zoe when I found her blog a few months ago. I just liked the honesty in it, plus I like to read about sex. It was only over the months since finding the blog that I learned all about her book, her outing and the consequences of that.

But that's by the bye cos that's not what I wanted to talk about. What I did want to talk about was anonymity. In the Blogging world, anonymity is a frequent visitor. A lot of people write behind a pseudonym. On the programme last night all of the sex bloggers didn't use their real names or show their faces, all except for Abby/Zoe. I can kind of see why they'd want to hide their identity. Not because they're embarrassed by what they do (I doubt very many of us women who enjoy sex are embarrassed by that fact, but the media do like to say we are) but because to have the sex they enjoy they need to not have their face/name/life known - notoriety doesn't get you laid when the person you're trying to sleep with knows they'll be on the internet come morning. So I see why those bloggers would hide their real names. But why do other people do it? And why have I never done it?

Actually, that's a lie. I did once. I opened a blog, I wrote in it but didn't sign my name at the end of the posts and had no personal information about myself on the site. But it just wasn't for me. I'm not embarrassed about what I write, I'm not trying to hide from people. It probably helps that I'm a very honest person - online and off - so there really was no need to hide my true self.

My last blog was popular amongst horny females and gay men because I used to post a lot of pictures/entries about boy-love. It helped a lot that I became enthralled with the Antony and Craig relationship on Big Brother 6. BB fans like to read BB stuff - even stuff about boy love ;) I was never anonymous but I didn't keep archives. More due to the fact that I had a thing going on in my personal life that if it had worked out then my blog might have got me into trouble. It didn't work out. I met Ray instead and fell in love. It was, and still is, all very normal. Just what I needed.

Which is where this blog came from. Summer last year I missed the blog (I shut down my boy-obsessed blog in April time of 2006). I honestly hadn't thought I'd open another one but I just missed it. So I opened one that was closed off to the public, except for people I knew. From there it grew to what it is now, which is probably less personal but it means I meet more people and get to have more fun with the posts. I think because the blog was opened with the intention of people I know in "real life" reading it, the thought of anonymity never once crossed my mind. Even when I opened it up to the world wide web I didn't think to change my name. People in "real life" have always read my blogs. Because for me the blog is an extension of my writing. It's a form of writing I really enjoy. It's not as personal as my diary but it's sort of like a day-to-day auto-biography, which I've always loved reading.

So that's where this blog came from. Not from the urge to be anonymous but to share my life's fun, sadness, excitement, dread - and all the other emotions - with the people in my "real life" who don't live near me (which is pretty much everyone I'm close to ;D) and so don't see me day to day. I just wonder how many other bloggers out there opened their blogs for the same reason. And just how many blogs I read where the authors use their real names?

In other news: I didn't get the house I really liked :/ That was really sad. But we've gone looking for new houses and have three set up to view this week! We're starting tonight :)

Labels: blogging, life, love, moving out, ray

by Ys | COMMENTS? 1 | permalink |

This weekend I went to view my first rental houses.

Friday night, me, Ray and Jem visited a ground-floor apartment. I didn't think an apartment could work for us cos I assumed it would be have no garden for the dogs, and be a bit small for three people. Turned out the place was a lot bigger than I realised. It's having a lot of work done on it at the moment due to the previous tennent wrecking it. You kind of had to look past the paint tins, broken beds and shoddy lighting. The agent seemed keen about the dogs, which was a big surprise. But although we all liked it when we were there, later on, we all had a bad feeling about it. It really was too small, and the garden would have been useless for the dogs (we'd have had to lay our own lawn). We've agreed to go back and see it once the work's completed, if we don't find anything beforehand.

The next we saw Saturday morning. I was a little surprised to find another couple were viewing at the same time. Then the agent was twenty minutes late, and we were all freezing and huddled under an umbrella. She finally arrived and we were told to go look around the house on our own, which I much preferred.

Downstairs was great - big kitchen, nice living space, an extra utility room at the back for the dogs to use. Upstairs was even better - three great sized rooms, and what I call higgldy-piggldy stairs. If you don't know what that means, basically it's where you have to go up the main set of stairs, then to get to bedroom one you go up two more steps, and to get to the other bedrooms and bathroom you have to climb back down those two steps, turn, and climb another two. I love upstairs like that! I nearly screamed with delight! And to top it all off the garden is really big. It's not ideal, it needs a fence at the bottom to keep the dogs, and we'd need to get a little more grass down than there is already, but overall it's huge and has so much potential.

As you might be able to tell: I really liked this second house. Unfortunately, I now have to wait to hear back from the agent about whether or not the dogs are welcome (the ad said they'd be considered), and if he'd take three people. The agent is meant to be ringing us sometime this afternoon. The woman who showed us around the house is not in work today, so the person who is in work is tracking her down to find out the answers. Phew. I hate waiting! I'm expecting a negative answer just cos it seems too perfect - and too easy. It is only the second house we've viewed, although we have been looking out for places for about six months. All I can do now is wait...

So the weekend has been spent sorting out the finances, and trying to figure out how much furniture we're going to have to buy. I did have a really nice walk along the beach-front Saturday night. It was really windy and cold but Ray and I just strolled along in the dark, getting blown off our feet, talking. It was really nice.

Come on, agent, ring already!

Labels: beach, dogs, jem, moving out, ray

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |

I was planning a nice relaxing day today. You know those days where you just wake up feeling sleepy, the weather's rotten, so you just imagine a day spent curled up on the sofa with your puppies? It didn't happen.

Just as I was brushing my hair after my shower the phone rang. I hurdled the mess to get to the phone in my parent's room. Lucky I answered it because it was my mother. Yesterday she'd ferried some dogs from a dog's home to the vets (where she works as a vet-nurse); she does this quite often. Yesterday she had Falls with her, which, again, happens quite often. Only what they found out today is that one of the dogs she was carrying in the back of her car has Parvovirus. For non-dog owners maybe you don't know what this is. The link will help, but in short it's a really nasty disease that means the infected dog has to be quaranteened from others. The disease can be spread from one dog to the other via human clothing, or other dog's coats or feet. Of course, Falls was with Mammy yesterday. He came into contact with the dog. It might have been brief but it could have been enough to do damage. And we have the puppies who are at a greater risk of fatality to the disease because they are so young, and obviously they aren't vaccinated.

So, after finishing talking to Mammy, I abandoned my relaxing day for some vigorous cleaning. I started by taking note of what everyone had been wearing last night and got Jem and Amber to give me those clothes to put in the wash. I got any shoes, as well, and made sure they were cleaned with disenfectant. Then I stripped the throws off the sofas, the beds out of the dog's baskets and the puppies' soft toys. I then got the mop out, filled it with disenfectant and mopped the kitchen, dining-room and living-room. Then I got the pups out of the cage and mopped their floor down, changed and mopped their bed, before putting fresh newspaper and a clean bed in for them.

Unfortunately, now all we can do is wait and see. Falls wasn't with the infected dog for very long, and although he did play with the pups last night he was tired after his day in work and so did spend most of the night asleep on the sofa. We've done all we can do now. We just have to wait and see and pray that everyone will be okay.

Diseases and worry aside, I did go out for a lovely meal with Jem last night. I ate a lot and we talked about the houses we're going to see at the weekend. We're trying to guess the plan of one of them because it seems like there's too many rooms for such a small space. It took them forty-five minutes to take our bill, as well. And even then they didn't take it, we just went up to the bar and asked if we could pay. You'd think they'd be chomping our hands off for the money.

Okay, I'm going back to worrying now...

Labels: dogs, falls, food, illness, jem, mammy, money, puppies, vets

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |

Here's the new layout - what do you think of it? I thought the red colours made it a little festive. Ray helped a little, as well. He helped me pick out some colours before he got really bored and I had to abandon the work on it ;) I hope the layout looks okay on everyone else's screens.

I've had some good news! Yes, finally! This weekend Ray, Jemma and I are going to view two properties in town. We think the first one won't be any good for the dogs but it looks super nice so we're going for a look. The second property looks great from outside, it's just not in such a great area. We're all very excited by the news, though. Out first official viewings. Who knows - one of these houses might be the one for us. It's all very exciting... and slightly nerve-racking too.

I had a funny text off Ray yesterday that I wanted to share. Because the screen on my mobile phone is cracked some of the letters in a text I have to guess. Usually that's easy enough to do but yesterday I got stuck. I'd texted Ray to tell him I'd found two of his t-shirts in my kitchen, which he'd meant to take home the previous night. The text I received in reply said:

im cut[missing letter] in a work top now

I took that to mean he was telling me that he hadn't needed the t-shirt's he'd left in my house, that he had a work top and he was telling me he looked cute in it. Well, that's just strange cos Ray never says he looks cute in anything. I showed Jem and asked her what she thought it said. She got it straight away:

i'm cuttin a work top now

Of course! He was cutting a worktop in work, as in a kitchen worktop. You know when stupid things just make you chuckle? That was one of those times. I guess the moral of the story is to buy a new phone. But I don't want to. Not yet, anyway.

So this week is looking way better than last week already. Stupid things that make me laugh, houses to visit, kisses in the kitchen where we were hiding from everyone... ;) I hope everyone else had a great Monday, too.

Labels: jem, layout, moving out, ray, websites

by Ys | COMMENTS? 3 | permalink |

New week, new start. I caved in, as I always do, and no apology was offered; everything is continuing as if nothing was ever said. At least it makes life here bearable. I seriously hate arguments.

Saturday was a wash out. I went out with Ray to Boots to pick something up for Jem (who was too ill to go herself). I had a voucher that offers me half-price on all Boots own health products. What I was buying was Boots own vitamins. At the till, after having my voucher swiped, the price stayed the same. I asked the woman about it and she said, full of fake smiles, that she'd ask someone if I wanted her to. I knew what that meant: I'd stand there for twenty minutes, feeling more and more ill, and then in the end they'd find a way to say it was my fault. So I just sighed at her not to bother, that I didn't even care anymore. I was perhaps a little more arsey to her than I needed to be but I was ill and in no mood for it. Boots always do that with vouchers. There's always a clause so it ends up with you usually paying more than you expected to. Grr. Once that was done I only managed one more shop before my energy levels crashed. We went back to Ray's house for a cup of tea and I nearly fell asleep so he brought me home. I hate, hate, hate not having energy.

All this being ill has meant I've watched a couple of the reality TV shows I usually always miss. I was totally impressed when Christopher Biggins won "I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here" this weekend. I was sure Janice was going to get it, which just would have been such a shame, cos, funny as she was, she just wasn't winning material. And then I'm also hooked on Strictly Come Dancing, and am of course supporting the Welsh guy Gethin Jones. Not forgetting the non-reality stuff I'm hooked on too: The Blair Years (I miss you Tony :( ) and Tudors (phwoooar). Do you know what I've learnt? That TV isn't as bad as I believed it to be.

The weekend picked up for me yesterday. There was a big wind-storm and a big slab of glass from next door's conservatory blew down our drive. Luckily no one was in the garden at the time so there were no casualties. Then in the evening Ray and I went down the harbour and ate chips. The car was rocking dangerously back and for but Ray assured me it wasn't going to tip. It didn't. And when I got home the pups were running wild in the living-room. When they got sleepy I got to cuddle them on the sofa with Ray, which was really nice and cosy.

And today is the start of a new week. The pups are being put into their new routine now, which means I have exactly ten minutes before I have to be downstairs with them. New routines usually kick the mopiness out of me so I'm hoping this week should see my mood improving. I just need some good news; that'd cheer me up immediately. Constant bad news is just not good for a person.

Oh, and expect the new layout on here very soon. I'm very close to completeing it :)

Labels: arguing, family, jem, layout, neighbours, puppies, ray, shopping, tv, weather, websites

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |