The week's looking a bit better now. Not amazingly so, but at least I've got my energy levels nearly back to normal. Having a shower in the morning does pretty much wipe me out for about thirty minutes afterwards but that's much better than the two-hours it's been all week. I'm actually doing some washing now so I must be feeling a lot better - either that or I'm just running out of clean clothes ;)

I'm afraid to say my parents still aren't talking to me. To be honest, I want an apology for the lies told about me so I don't think I'm making the situation any easier. Soon enough I'll cave in, though, the way I always do. I absolutely hate arguing so I pretty much do anything to avoid it.

To cheer myself up, Ray and I have been making plans for New Years Eve. I did mention a while ago about a little something we were planning. Well, we have got something booked up now but cos it costs so much money we're at the moment trying to see if another place is available instead, which will be much cheaper. It would mean we weren't away for the actual New Years Eve but for the three nights before instead. I guess we can just wrap up warm New Years Eve and go and sit at the top of my hill and be alone up there, watching the fireworks, welcoming in the New Year. Nothing's confirmed yet so I'll just have to patiently wait another couple of weeks.

How can I not be happy, though, when I've got the babies here? Be Warned: this link contains serious squee. They make me melt every single time I see them. I wish I could keep Dolores... Sweepie would hate me for it, though; she doesn't share her mother with anyone ;)

By the way, I've dropped the price of my book "Shadows" - took me a while to figure out how to do it! It's now 9.99 in book form. It'd make a great Christmas present ;) Hehehehe.

I have absolutely no plans for the weekend so fingers crossed it might turn out to be quite a good one ;) So I hope you all have good ones too!

Labels: arguing, family, illness, new years, puppies, self-publishing, shadows, sweepie

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |

I've been unconscious since the weekend. My small cold turned nasty.

Saturday I spent the afternoon in bed watching the Wales V South Africa rugby match. I managed to get up at half-time and say hello to two sets of aunts and uncles (from my mother's side) who'd popped round. They don't just "pop round" very often. They live in England, we live in Wales. For some reason they never come to see us, whereas I know a lot of them do pop in on my uncle who lives ten minutes away.

The evening was spent on the sofa. Mammy got really weird - Post Sibling Visit Syndrome - and started saying some really messed up things. For some reason I found myself defending aunts and uncles I barely even know. Well, she was saying some weird stuff. As always, she took offence to what I said, and I was deemed the anti-Christ and that was that - she hasn't spoken to me since. Although she has been making up lies about me picking on one of the dogs - which is just insane cos I adore all the dogs. Her and my younger sister had a good old bitch. Younger sister stupidly told Jemma about it, who of course told me. I confronted Mammy about it; she was left speechless cos obviously her lie had been presented to her face. I don't think we've said more than two words to each other since. Ahh family dramas.

Of course, she had to pick now to have her funny five minutes, didn't she? I mean, I'm quite clearly ill as ill can be - and there she is picking fights! I haven't had the energy to fight back, hence the no talking.

My illness has got progressively worse. I didn't sleep at all Monday night and so spent Tuesday (yesterday) in a state of semi-consciousness. I sent Ray home at 9pm and crawled into bed with a bowl of Vicks and a towel over my head. I don't know whether it was just the Vicks but I slept pretty much right through the night. I'm feeling almost human again today.

It's my younger sister's birthday tomorrow, so if I don't blog again: Happy Birthday, Amber. She's going to be nineteen. Which is super weird cos she only seems about sixteen. I'm glad I'm feeling a bit better today cos I've got to get to a shop and buy her a card. I've had her present here for ages but now I've just got to summon up the energy to get to a shop.

I hate being ill. This week truly has been the worst week of 2007. I've not only been ill, been arguing with my parents, been ostrasised by them, but I also had some super shitty news about the something I didn't want to mention in one of the earlier posts. Yes, sounds cryptic, I know, but I'd just rather not talk about it. So all in all this week has sucked.

Labels: amber, arguing, birthday, daddy, family, illness, jem, mammy, ray, rugby

by Ys | COMMENTS? 5 | permalink |

I am back from the Taste of Chaos Tour. Want a little review?

We started queuing at about 5pm. For once there were people queuing pre-gig so we were round the other side of the building. Fine by us cos we still hadn't decided where we were going to stand. It was freezing in the queue. I tried to steal all of Ray's unnatural heat but even that didn't work! We finally got into the venue (Newport Centre) at 6pm. We were front row as always. Within five minutes the first band was on, which was great for me cos I hate waiting around for the gig to start hehe.

My Favourite Porn Star were the winner of the Battle of the Bands competition, so they were our Local Band. They were good - obviously new and therefore very excited to be on stage. I was a little worried when the young singer stripped off his top cos, well, he looked extremely young and I just felt the mother in me worrying that he'd catch a cold, what with his little boy-boobs out and sweaty in Newport on a cold night. They performed for about fifteen minutes.

There was then a twenty minute wait until The Blackout appeared. I've seen them live lots of times cos they seem to support every band I see. I was impressed the first time I saw them but they have gone very quickly down hill since then. This time didn't improve my opinion on them. They decided to announce that if the crowd enjoyed the song they were about to sing they should sing along, but if they didn't then they should boo. Of course some people booed, one person shouted out that they were crap, and the bands' egos just couldn't take it. They proceeded to very lamely slag off the guy, saying something along the lines of "I have the mic', you're just one guy in the middle of this place. Come back here when you're the one on stage." Hmm. Then a kid down the front said he wanted to see one of the other bands not them, and again their egos were bruised. Their fantastic comeback was to tell the kid that he should go up the back of the room and have a wank. Witty boys, huh? There was quite a lot of stuff chucked at them and they got very clingy with one another. I'd have felt sorry for them if they weren't such a bunch of egos!

After another short break, on came Gallows. I'd been told the singer was "scary" and "abusive" so when I saw his skinny ass walking on stage I wondered if perhaps I'd been told wrongly. He wasn't scary or abusive, in fact he was quite funny. He did insult some of the crowd but he just made me laugh. He came on and introduced the first song, muttering something like, "Let's get this done so we can all go home." And then some people started shouting that he was ginger and he came back with, "I wish someone had told me that twenty-three years ago." He just made me laugh. He wasn't fazed by the crowd and I liked it that he couldn't be bothered to try to win us over. The songs were okay. I wouldn't buy an album but they were pleasant enough.

Twenty minutes later came Aiden. I know they have a lot of fans so if you are a fan skip this next paragraph cos really all I'm gonna do is slag them off. I've seen a lot of bands live but this one were just awful. The singer was so cringesome I literally wanted to scratch the skin off my face. If we weren't enjoying his "performance" then we were "faggots". Well, I'd happily be a faggot, thanks. He then proceeded to bitch at the people up the back in the stands, who were mostly parents there with their kids (yes, the crowd were that young). He slagged them off again and then chucked a bottle of water at them, which hit a couple of girls. Nice. At least someone in the crowd did hit him with a bottle. That pissed him off. He basically slagged us all off. Is this the new thing now? That you see a band and they bitch at you? Well, fuck that!

I was glad when they disappeared.

Next up was Rise Against. I didn't know what to expect from them cos I'd been told they were the most mellow of the line-up. Turns out they were the best. They were actual grown-ups, didn't once slag us off, and just played their songs like proper musicians. There was no prancing, no hype, just the songs. And they were damn good songs, too. I'm investing in an album as soon as I have the funds.

I was expecting there to be about an hour wait for The Used just cos they always keep us waiting. But at 10pm the lights went down and on the band came. They totally made the crappy line-up worth it. They were bloody fantastic! Bert was on form and sang/screamed every word of each song. I pretty much went crazy when they came on. I nearly lost my jeans several times - why is it I can't find a pair of jeans that won't fall down when I'm jumping about? They sang a lot of the old stuff, which made me happy, but plenty of the new album as well. "Lies for the Liars" was so, so good. I have a couple of noisy vid's:

All That I've Got, which turned into a medley of older songs, and Paralyzed, which was when Bert got a lot of the crowd up on stage with him.

I scratched the hell out of my voice. It actually tore on the last song - oops. Before I knew it the hour was up and the band were saying their goodbyes. I can't believe how fast the hour went by. The lights came up, we limped out the venue, found the car and drove home.

It's taken until today for my cold to come out. I blame all the kids in the audience - they always have bugs. We have all promised not to ever do another Taste of Chaos gig unless the line-up has some decent bands, which isn't likely. So the lead up was crap, the bands were insulting and not very good, but The Used made the whole night worth it. Now I need to crawl back into bed and sleep off my illness.

Labels: gigs, taste of chaos 2007, the used, video

by Ys | COMMENTS? 1 | permalink |

I got a bit mopey last night. I think it was a comedown from the weekend. Back to normal life is always a little depressing, isn't it? After a good whine to Ray I felt a lot better. Today I spent the morning cleaning - and I only ever clean when I'm happy. Even got the mop out as well!

This afternoon I worked on my writing site and have now got a very pretty layout. It's very similar to how it was but I've just tweaked a few things here and there and, in my opinion anyway, I think it's looking much better.

CHECK IT OUT HERE

I've added a Buy My Book banner on the left << but it's too big for the page so I've had to shrink it. It doesn't look as good as it did so I think this may be the excuse I need to make a new layout for the blog. I've had this one for ages now - probably the longest blog layout to stick around! I haven't got a clue what I want the new layout to look like so I wouldn't be expecting anything to appear any time this week.

I don't think I mentioned but... I'm going to see The Used on Thursday so will be awol for the day. It's part of the Taste of Chaos Tour. So far the venue has been changed and the door times so I'm a little concerned that the gig might suddenly get cancelled. Should be a good night if it does go ahead. Although, to be honest, I either don't like or don't know the other bands on the bill. So I may become a fan or else be really bored until The Used come on stage.

Labels: gigs, layout, life, ray, self-publishing, the used, websites, writing

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |

Thanks so much for all the comments I got about my book - on here and in person. You all make me feel very loved, and I am feeling more positive about it all. To be honest, I wasn't feeling overly confident about it all when I first put the book up for purchase. So thank you :)

The weekend was great. Just what it needed to be. Just me and Ray and no one else. I think we only left the house once, and that was to pick up a huge pizza we'd ordered. Mmm, pizza. I ate too much this weekend and have irritated my stomach-lining a bit but, hey, it was all worth it so I'm not complaining. We had one interruption. Saturday night Ray's uncle suddenly rang the house and said he was coming over - even though he'd been told not to by Ray's gran cos she'd wanted me and him to have some time on our own for once. If that wasn't bad enough, he was also bringing his girlfriend (the woman who rudely asked me if I saw Ray every day when I'd only just met her - what business was it of hers?), her sister and niece. Ray got quite pissed off, the uncle knew it, but he still came over. They didn't really bother with us much, just sat in the other room laughing at us. These people (niece excluded of course) are all in their forties, so you'd have thought they'd have better things to talk about than me and Ray. When it looked as though they were going to be a permanent arrangement in the house, Ray and I decided we'd go upstairs and start having noisy sex. But someone (we don't know who) walked in on us kissing and five minutes later they all left. Ha! Apart from that the weekend was perfect. We stayed up late Friday night talking about all kinds of crap, just making sure we were both thinking the same thing relationship-wise - no, neither of us want to get married yet, we don't even want to get engaged, although the feeling that we might does come and go for us over the months; we both just want to enjoy the next couple of years on our own, without thinking about the future or where we might be heading or any of that stuff. So that was a relief to hear everything I felt coming out of Ray's mouth. We then spent Sunday watching all the archaeology programmes about the Ancients, which we both love. So we got to be alone, to talk, to have lots of sex, watch films (the Fantastic Four actually had me laughing out loud at times), and be geeky.

So I basically spent the weekend in hibernation. It was great :D

I did miss Sweepie and the pups a lot, though. I was glad to come home to them but, to be honest, the weekend just wasn't long enough for my liking. I guess they never are, are they?

Labels: life, puppies, ray, self-publishing, sex, sweepie

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |

I stumbled across a pretty cool website that seemed professional and affordable. So I went for it. I am now a self-published author.

I started with Shadows, because it's a book I think has a very strong story-line, plus it's got some totally fucked up characters in it. If you want to read my work - in a spanking professional book-bound way - then please, please, please click on the link below:



Expect some shameless self-promotion over the coming weeks hehe.

Edit to add: It was as if God was having a little chuckle to himself, because this morning I got a rather hilarious rejection letter from a publisher I'd sent Soul Mates to. Nothing about whether the book was well written or that they didn't have the space on their books for me, nope just a quickly written note saying, I'm afraid that it is not really our sort of thing. Hehe. Why not just say what you're really thinking Kate Hordern Publishers? You wouldn't touch a gay character-based book cos underneath it all you're homophobic. Ahh, you wouldn't think it would still exist in this day and age, would you? This is just the perfect example of why I've gone down the self-publishing route - no one gives stories based around a gay character a second glance.

Thanks Jem for being my first purchaser - you are officially my first fan, first supporter, and first person to turn me into an official author :)

I'm away at Ray's for the weekend so I'll probably be awol until Monday, so enjoy your weekends :)

Labels: self-publishing, shadows, writing

by Ys | COMMENTS? 4 | permalink |

Well, thank God the mopey moods gone now. I had a really nice day yesterday, what with the that and all the Remembrance Day events, it really did give me the good kick up the arse I needed. So no more wandering round feeling sorry for myself. I'm over it. I'm back to my usual optimistic self.

The weekend was a weird one. Saturday night down the pub was just plain odd. I think Ray might be famous and I just don't know it. Everyone's still obsessed with our relationship - yes, eighteen months down the line! And then one of the little girls got her group of friends to start shrieking Ray's name as soon as I left the room. I got back to find him pretty wound up. I don't know why he didn't just tell them to shut up - I mean, they are only kids. But he's shy and he was just mortified that he'd been singled out in the middle of the pub. The lead girl is desperate to get in his pants at the moment. She's been loudly exclaiming how much she likes to have "taken" guys. Plus she did offer Ray a blow-job for a lift to the local night-club before he and I got together; he turned her down and I don't think she's very happy about that cos guys don't usually turn her down. It was also a sad night cos one of the older guys I like to talk to was hinting at me that his son, who I've known quite well on and off since school, is hooked pretty bad on coke. He was sad about that, and then we all got sad about it cos he is a family friend. Then one of the other older guys who likes to chat came in and started having a go at us cos we're not down the rugby as much - he feels we're not supporting them enough! Well, if the place/club wasn't riddled with coke, under-age sex and rude people then maybe we might chose to socialise there more often. As it is we prefer other pubs where scandal isn't shoved in your face every two seconds. We all came home rather disillusioned by the place and have pretty much decided to keep away for a while under the bitter aftertaste has worn off.

Sunday was a much better day. My pups had opened their eyes! I scooped them up and introduced myself. Wednesday was a little bit scared 'til she caught my scent and realised I was the person who'd been cuddling her for the last week. They're very excitable now and are learning how to walk. So, so cute.

Ray and I got to spend the entire afternoon together, which hasn't happened in ages. He sneakily distracted me while we were in Boots and bought me Davidoff's Cool Water Wave perfume, and some hairdye. Little scamp. He always wants to buy me stuff. I do keep telling him that when I'm a rich author he'll be my kept bitch and he'll have to be bombarded with presents all the time and see how uncomfortable it makes him! ;)

So all in all it was a bit of a strange weekend. There was some ups, some downs, some weird bits and some fun bits. At least my mood is better. I hate being a whiney cow; it's so unnecessary.

Labels: drugs, life, puppies, ray, rugby, sex, shopping

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |

I haven't been in the best of moods this week, hence why I haven't blogged anything of worth. Everything seems to be in that limbo-state, which isn't a good place to dwell for too long.

There's some stuff I can talk about, other stuff I can't, other stuff I won't. In brief, I am spending a lot of time sitting around waiting for the pups or Madge to need me. Because it's only their first proper week they don't need me much. Madge needs some extra food, entrance to and from the cage when she pleases; the puppies just need cuddles twice a day for hour/two hour periods to get them used to us all. When they open their eyes I'll have too much work to do running round after them. But their eyes aren't open yet. So I'm in limbo. Sitting around doing nothing makes me extremely bored and mopey.

I know, I know, you could say Why don't you write to fill the time then? The problem with that is I just finished Olimpia Valley and so need some time off from a new novel. I'm reading through Soul Mates books (currently on volume 2) because I'm going to start work on Volume IV next. So why not just write some short stories instead? The problem is the house is very full at the moment. My younger sister has been here all week and only told me yesterday that that's going to be a permanent arrangement now because she's dropped out of college again. So the house is going to be full and noisy, which doesn't make a good environment for writing. If I wasn't on puppy duty I'd just lock myself away in my room, like I normally do, and write that way but I am on puppy duty so that means no writing.

So that hasn't helped my mood. Plus the fact that the house is so full all day and night does mean I'm not getting any time whatsoever to myself, and I'm the kind of person who needs proper alone time at least once a week. I haven't been left on my own in about a month now. That's probably a big reason for my grumpy mood actually. Plus, cos I'm puppy-sitting I'm meant to be down here with the pups most evenings, which means Ray and I get zero time to ourselves. And you know how couples need time on their own - not just for sex, get your minds out of the gutter!

There's some news that I can't talk about cos it's just so up in the air I couldn't even explain even if I wanted to. Another limbo situation. Urgh.

Mammy surprised me with a gorgeous teal-coloured short-sleeved jumper. I fell in love with it about six months ago so I was totally surprised when she handed it to me Wednesday night. She'd had a shopping spree with her friend, and has a store card that gives her about 50% off everything so it only cost her about a fiver :) I love a bargain!

I got to go out Wednesday night. Actually dressed up like a girl, rather than slobbing round the house in my puppy wear (which means dirty jeans and unflattering tops). Me, Jem and Ray went out down the pub for a drink before I dragged Ray home and upstairs for some quality time alone.

So it hasn't all been bad. My mood has pretty much been bad all week but things are looking cautiously positive. Like I say: everything is in limbo so it could go either way. I hope I get the answers next week.

At least Sweepie's eye is doing much better :) She didn't have to go to the vets after all because she's responding so well to the eye cream. Still needs constant cuddles from me though ;)

Labels: amber, clothes, dog-sitting, jem, life, madge, puppies, ray, sweepie, writing

by Ys | COMMENTS? 0 | permalink |

So we all know how much I adore my little Sweepie.

Today I woke to find she had a very bad eye. It's one of the problems Pugs often suffer from but because she is a Pug she is very upset by her injury and needs constant cuddles. To cheer her up please vote for her in the 3rd Annual World's Coolest Dog and Cat Show. She doesn't think she'll win but some votes would really make her happy.


Please vote for Sweepie in the World's Coolest!

Hopefully her eye will get better by just using her eye-cream but if it's not better by tomorrow morning Mammy is going to take her into work. My poor baby :/

Labels: sweepie, websites

by Ys | COMMENTS? 3 | permalink |

I've spent most of the weekend sitting outside Madge's cage, leaving the door open so that she can come and go when she pleases - plus it means I can fuss the pups and take lots of photos hehe. I'm getting very clucky.

I went out to the new Outfit store that opened near me. I really like Outfit cos it has some of my favourite shops all under one roof. I tried a lot of lovely clothes on - mostly green and teal coloured cardigans. They were all pretty much gorgeous but they also had rather shocking price tags. I knew I wasn't spending any money, though, cos I am actually bankrupt at the moment. They gave me a glass of champange at the door and it made me tipsy. Yes, a tiny glass of champagne and I was tipsy. When did I become such a light weight?

Of course I soon ended up in Next, my favourite shop of the moment. I found a gorgeous outfit that I wanted. It's just something you should never do, is it? Take a whole outfit into a changing room to try on - always try on tops only or trousers only, other wise you'll end up lusting after an outfit you know you can't afford, which is just depressing, hehe.

I did very well: I didn't buy a single thing. Oh it was difficult ;)

Labels: puppies, shopping

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |

check out my babies check out my babies check out my babies

As if raising puppies wasn't enough, when Jem and I took the dogs for a walk up the road, we found a black kitten in the hedge. He was meaowing from the hedge, calling for help. We picked him up and took him to the nearby house to see if they'd lost a kitten but they hadn't. And the woman next door to her didn't know who he belonged to. So we brought him home.



Mammy took a look at him and found out he had a dislocated hip. We knew we couldn't keep him - not only because we already have five cats, but because we have the two pups so there's really no more room for anymore babies at the moment. He was rather cute, although he was riddled with huge fleas - thank God Mammy had flea-killer stuff.

He soon made himself at home. Gazing lovingly at Falls and then using Sweepie's booty as a pillow throughout the night:





He spent the night here and then this morning Mammy drove him to her work (at the vets). Her boss, the vet, diagnosed the hip dislocation. He'll spend the weekend at the surgery with the other two surgery-cats and then on Monday have an operation to re-set his hip. Then he'll go to his new home with a woman who's nutty about cats and is very good with those who've suffered hip/pelvis trauma. So the little thing might have had a rough beginning but he's going to have a great life from here on out.

I think God sent the kitten to make up for the small litter Madge had, hehe.

check out my babies check out my babies check out my babies

Labels: falls, jem, kitten, mammy, photos, sweepie

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |