I was first introduced to the Halo world early this year. Ray brought over his xbox to give Jem something to do when we were out doing the Couple Thing. He gave her Halo 1 to play. When I watched her play it I thought I'd never get a hang of the controls. I've only ever played PC games - never with a controller. It all looked far too complicated.

About a month later I picked it up and had a go for myself. I took to it quite well. Driving the car for the first time had me in tears of laughter. I completed the game on Easy and then moved onto Halo 2. I wasn't as keen on Halo 2 but once I figured out the new guns I found it quite easy. I then worked my way up through the settings. I finished Legendary on both games last month. Legendary on Halo 1 seemed easier to me than it did on Halo 2. But I do much prefer Halo 1.

When Halo 3 was released Ray, of course, bought a copy. He is obsessed with the game, and his obsession has rubbed off on me. I adore Master Chief, and of course hate Cortana (cos she's after my man ;D). I told Ray to play the game through first cos he is an amazing player and I knew if I played it we'd all still be sat there a month later wondering how the damn thing ended.

First of all: the graphics.



It looks amazing. And I mean amazing. Halo 1 and 2 look like games compared to Halo 3. Halo 3 looks, feels and sounds like a real event. It feels like you're really on earth, really at war, and it does all rest on your shoulders. Everything is real.

Secondly: the story.



I always found the story quite hard to follow - too much going on, and I was too intrested in shooting everything that moved. Halo 2 really pushed the story arc but that just confused me even more. Halo 3 was meant to "tie up all the loose ends". I'm not sure it did that. I was, once again, left a little confused. I was helped this time by having read the three Halo books before playing it. So I understood what was happening to Cortana and what the things she said meant. If you haven't read "The Fall of Reach" then you probably won't ever understand all the things she says. So that was good. But the rest of it just confused me, as always. Maybe a few more plays and I'll understand it.

Thirdly: the kills.



The enemies look and sound great - real just like the rest of the game. The Grunts's balls have either dropped or are in the process of so their voices are deeper or that embarrassing in-between stage. There's a lot more Brutes and they now wear different coloured armour like the Elites did. There are no fights against the Elites, which is sad cos I used to love killing the Elites. The Jackals are easier to kill, thank God cos I hate those bastards. The Flood look very scary now - much more believable. And the Pure Forms are, well, I found some of them a bit silly - but spidery-monsters always seem a bit silly to me.

There's a couple new weapons, which are fun. The new vehicles - and old - are heaps and heaps of fun. The levels look amazing. Your marine friends aren't nearly as stupid (which I think is a bit sad).

Overall the game is good - fantastic even. It looks great, feels great, sounds great - it's just all very good. My only complaint is its length. I've seen the extra features disc and seen how it was made and I can totally see why the game is so short. I understand that budget and time restraints can come into play, especially when you're making each level look so good, but considering this is Halo 3, that it has a huge following and shit-loads of money, I'm disappointed that they didn't lengthen it. Plus it is pretty much a copy of Halo 1. For example: there's a beach level, a Cartographer mission, a mad-dash car ride - all very familiar. Kind of good in a way cos it means you get to see how Halo 1 always looked in the eyes of the makers but also kind of bad cos then it's not really anything that new. I'm afraid they sacrificed the Campaign for all the Multiplayer options, which is no good to me cos I don't like Multiplayer.

So, yes, buy it buy it buy it - of course you have to. It is the best game visually you're probably going to see for a long time. It's Halo for God's sake so you're going to want to see it and play it - if only to see how it all ends. But don't be surprised when it suddenly ends.

Oh! And you can watch back your game and pan the camera around for different angles, and also take screenshots. Guess what I'm going to be playing with now? I'm starting the game on Easy tomorrow. I'll let you know how I get on.

Labels: halo, jem, photos, ray

by Ys | COMMENTS? 1 | permalink |

I finally went to the doctors today.

I did ring them yesterday only to find out that the female doctor wasn't in 'til today. Ray had taken the day off work to take me, as well, cos Jem was (is) still ill with her tooth. Never mind. He's working Saturday so he's not missing out on any money and he said he needed a day off anyway. I popped Halo 3 onto my big TV downstairs for him and he played happily on that all afternoon. Halo 3 deserves a post all of its own so I'll save that.

So I went to the doctors this morning. I was nervous, as I always am if I have to see a medical person. I told her about my cyst-like pains and she had a prod of my belly - couldn't feel anything, of course; you couldn't even when the cysts were huge. I asked her if it was even possible for me to have cysts what with the ovary not being there anymore and she said no, and explained it was probably scar tissue reacting to my contracting muscles due to my extreme period. If there's any more pain I go back, though, obviously. She's given me some painkillers to help.

I've also been prescribed the pill. The Microgynon one, which can cause wacky side-effects. I'm not to start on them until my next period, though, so I'll have to wait and see how I go. She did warn me I might not take to them and if I didn't I could go back and we'd try something else. So I'm expecting troubles, hehe. There'll be no more condoms in three weeks then. Aww, I think I'll miss them. I'll have to get busy and use up the stash I have! ;)

So I think the conclusion from that trip to see the doc is that nothing is sure. I could have more pains, I also could go insane on the new tablets. But then again they might cure me and I'll feel amazing.

Oh yeah, like it's going to be that easy!

Labels: doctors, halo, illness, sex, the pill

by Ys | COMMENTS? 5 | permalink |

Want to see the new man in my life?

Advent 7208





Isn't he gorgeous? Those stickers on the sides are off now - I peeled them off after the picture was taken - typical!

I'm looking for a guidebook thingy for it now cos I wasn't given one for some reason. I'll download it from the site in a minute. The only problem I have with it is it runs Word Processor not Word so my documents keep wanting to save in .wps whereas they're usually in .doc. I guess the new extension isn't going to do them any harm. Changing them to .doc to send to others isn't exactly much work.

Hmm, my lovely new laptop. I can't leave him alone!

Labels: laptop, photos

by Ys | COMMENTS? 0 | permalink |

I made a post earlier but have scrapped it. It wasn't that interesting and other stuff has happened to make it pointless.

My new laptop has arrived!

Yesterday I had some trouble with my baby (the 560x laptop). It crashed right after I'd saved my writing for that day. Then when I tried to restart it it would come on, load everything and then just sit there and creak and groan at me. I tried and tried but every restart proved the same results. So I put it away, vowing a rest would do it some good but knowing I wouldn't be able to write again until the new laptop arrived. That could have been another week away so I was starting to panic a little - that pre-panic-attack-I-have-to-write feeling.

Thankfully, when I checked on the status of the new laptop this morning it said it was Out for Delivery. So no need to panic - the laptop was arriving today. Which it did. A shaven-headed man delivered the huge box to me, making me wonder if the laptop I'd ordered was in fact far too big. But, no, that wasn't the case - it just had a lot of packaging protecting it.

I've unwrapped it, moved my work from the main family computer onto here and added a few internet favourites - as well as customising the shit out of it! He is a male laptop and has been christened MasterChief (all one word). He's a hottie. Very slick in his grey colours and black keyboard. I'll get some photos of him later once my batteries have recharged (they may have melted by now actually...).

I had to leave MasterChief this afternoon, though, to accompany Jem to the private dentist. She was having a wisdom tooth removed. Sounds simple enough. But nothing is ever simple with any one of us. Most of the tooth came out but there was some problems with her roots - too long apparently and so one had to be left in fear of damaging her nerve. Yikes. It sounded pretty gross and weirdly I knew something wasn't right. I sat on the edge of the chair flicking through a magazine, wondering how I could persuade Mammy to barge into the room and go check on her. I was pretty pissed with the people there. Maybe it wasn't their fault but they were the ones doing the extracting so I'm happy to blame them. She's asleep beside me now, ocassionaly waking to tell me that it's bleeding.

It's been one of those peculiar days today. I didn't eat lunch 'til an hour ago, I've barely seen Sweepie, I've been shaking with excitement over MasterChief (yes, I'm that sad) and then churning with dread over Jemma's tooth adventures. I hope Ray doesn't come home with any bad news.

Labels: dentist, jem, laptop, life

by Ys | COMMENTS? 1 | permalink |

I've spent the weekend curled up in or on my bed. No, it wasn't cos of kinky things.

Ten years ago I got terrible pains down my right-hand side. I vomited a little but the doctor just sent me away with painkillers. A month later it came back and this time a new doctor sent me to hospital with suspected appendicitis. It was quickly decided that wasn't the case and I was sent for a scan. Turns out I had cysts growing on my right ovary, they'd spun and pretty much screwed up a lot inside. Two months later I had an operation. They tried to save my ovary - I was only fourteen at the time so they tried to keep it. I went home feeling sore and old and tired but at least no longer worrying about cysts.

A year later I was back in hospital. The cysts had returned. So this time they took out my ovary (which was dead anyway) and then sent me on my way again.

Everything's been fine since then, apart from very painful and heavy periods (which is to be expected after my body's ordeal). Last month I had period pain that lasted forty-eight hours - non-stop. This month the pain in my right-hand side returned. And it stayed for forty-eight hours.

I've discussed it with my mother and she agrees that I shouldn't have more cysts on my right-hand side because the ovary that was making the cysts is no longer there. So it's possible but not very probable. She wondered if maybe it was scar-tissue giving me problems. Strange it suddenly starts acting up now, though. We ruled out pregnancy because of the heavy period and the heavy periods that have come every month before then. We wondered about a muscle pull, what with the pain feeling like a contraction, we knew it had to be muscle-related. But, as of yet, none of us can decide what's wrong with me. The female doctor isn't in 'til Thursday so I'll have to wait 'til then to see what she says. But this is the doctor that said there was nothing wrong with me the first time so I know I'm going to have to push her into sending me for a scan other wise she'll just tell me it's just period pain - which I know it's not.

So in between rolling around in pain, I got the house cleaned up in time for Mammy and Daddy's return from South Africa. I missed their return because I was in bed (it was 1:30am) but did get up at 7:30 the next morning to talk to them about it all. It sounds like an amazing holiday. Elephants and lions and giraffes; the pictures of the landscape are amazing. I'm quite jealous. The house is a mess again now, as we knew it would be after a return from a holiday, so I think I'll clean again today been as the pain has gone.

No word on when my laptop's coming yet. The last email I got said they were starting to process my order... Hurry up PC World!

Labels: daddy, doctors, holidays, hospital, illness, laptop, mammy, operations

by Ys | COMMENTS? 1 | permalink |

Ray and I did make up again. He'd been weird all week and then on Tuesday night it sounded to me like he was trying to dump me but getting me to say the words. The fact that I've always been very comfortable and confident of his love for me really did throw me for a loop when he said what he did Tuesday. He didn't mean it, of course, I later found out. He just has a way of saying the wrong thing - a lot. He was very apologetic Wednesday evening when he got back after work. He sounded very mature, not once trying to find himself an excuse for his behaviour, just admitted he'd been a dick and that he took me for granted and wasn't going to do it anymore. I was very surprised considering I was imagining all day that he'd show up and say it was over. Phew.

Things aren't 100% between us but they're definitely nearly perfect again. Which I much prefer cos all this upset and drama just isn't what I'm comfortable with. It makes my stomach hurt too much.

I now have another problem: my laptop. At the moment I still have my dinasour of a laptop, my baby, which was my first, which I had in 2004: IBM 560x. It's been poorly for about a year but I can cope with slow start-ups considering all I use it for is writing. But these past couple of days the screens been blanking out on me. The first time I lost about half a page of writing (could have been a lot worse, thankfully I'm a serial saver), the second I'd opened my diary but hadn't written anything. I fear when it goes for the third time it might not start again. Well, it's not so much the machine but the screen that's blinking out - the laptop itself is still running but without any image. I can't do much with that, and what with the other problems it has I decided it was time for a new laptop.

Here lies the problem: I have no cash on me at the moment. When Madge has her babies (going by the shape of her I'd say she is pregnant - we have to wait for Mammy to get back from holiday for a vet-check) I will have a cut of the money because I am Nanny Ysabel and do all the work. I always said I'd get a laptop with the money. But that money won't come to me 'til early next year. I need the laptop now. Ray has offered to buy me it (he's been offering since about this time last year) and says he'll have the money in the bank next week once his cheques have cleared. Other wise I ask Mammy if she'll get it and then knock that money off what I'd be getting for my puppy raising. With Mammy I fear there might be interest added on, so I'll probably take Ray up on his offer.

I've found a laptop I want: C Series, but it's too expensive. So my second choice is this baby: Advent 7208. As you can see, the second one is only on sale for five more days so I'd have to get in there quick for that. I do have a plan of action. I'm not sure if it'll work. But I'm hoping to have a new laptop by the end of the weekend so I can finish my book without losing any of the information.

Ahh life is an expensive thing, isn't it? Being a poor, unappreciated writer I can't really afford all this spending. But at least I should have babies to take care from Novemeber onwards. I am so excited about that :)

EDIT: I bought the laptop. Ray will pay for it until the puppies come in December. It'll be here by the end of next week! Woo!

Labels: laptop, madge, puppies, ray

by Ys | COMMENTS? 1 | permalink |

Last night we made fire:



I would love to say it was all me, but unfortunately I can't. Ray started it and got it going, while Jemma played the Wafter role (which meant she wafted the flames/embers with a stick) and I played the Safety Officer role (which meant I kept Pugs away, gave them hugs when they got cold, shouted "flames are on the ground!" and "waft faster!" at appropriate times). The fire, of course, was very, very pretty so I took lots of pictures:




Then Ray started twirling around a stick of fire so I could get these beautiful shots:



Of course we were supervised the whole time by Martha, who stood at the top of the drive and observed from afar, making sure we weren't setting the garden alight. And two of the Pugs helped out, as well, (Falls and Sweepie) because they're both usually outside when their granddad makes the fires.



It was a really fun time, except we did all come in reeking of smoke.

The night then had to end badly. Ray and I had a huge fight and I ended up crying on the kitchen floor while he skulked off home. Ahh, isn't love grand.

(Last night, I also picked and ate my homegrown peas, and they were gorgeous. I need to grow fields full of them.)

Labels: falls, jem, martha, photos, ray, sweepie

by Ys | COMMENTS? 4 | permalink |

Yesterday was a shitty day. Just one of those days where everything that can go wrong does. Needless to say I was a grumpy, irate cow. What with freak rain showers just after I'd hung all my washing out, endless amounts of cat shit to clean up out of the litter boxes (do not ever get housebound cats - or if you do get no more than one female because two females have to have pissing/shitting contests to say who's boss. Factor in that one is blind and the other a skanky cow you get a lot of soiled carpets and, weirdly, Lord of the Rings DVD's). I did do some cleaning in my room to make space for Ray's xbox and his xbox360. As Jem said yesterday: I have a boyfriend who likes gadgets: my room will never be clutter-free again. Said boyfriend and I had a little spat last night, as well. Details are not needed cos they'd be boring to everyone else. Then Amber (that's my younger sister) brought her new "friend" over. He's much nicer than her last "friend" - this one actually speaks, likes the animals, isn't rude, even seems to encourage Amber to clean up after herself (!). But she didn't ask if he could stay all night, which of course is a bit of a cheek really considering the Old Folk aren't here. Yes, you could argue they don't give a crap (they were the ones who told me they heard her having sex with her last boyfriend - oh Jeez), but as acting guardian while they're away I thought it might be nice of her to ask. Her excuse was that she had no way of getting him home cos the car's conked out. But the car had conked out that morning so she knew what she was doing. I was too tired and grumpy to deal with it. Jem had a word but I don't think it really makes much difference. I don't know. I was just very different at her age and I find it hard to relate to how she is and therefore understand her actions. Maybe this is all normal behaviour.

So all in all yesterday was a bit pants. I'm hoping today will be much better. Here's hoping.

That was a big paragraph, wasn't it? Such a ranter when I get going ;)

I'm awaiting the postman with my Halo books. But I think I just heard Jem descending the stairs and then climbing back up them, which makes me think he's been and not left me my books. Grrr.

Labels: amber, books, halo, jem, life, ray

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |

Wales lost to Australia on Saturday. The second-half was good - not quite so much shouting at the TV. But Stephen Jones needs to go!

Ray bought himself an xbox 360, after much debate - him saying maybe, us saying do it! He doesn't spend heaps on himself often - pre-me he didn't spend any money on himself - so he needs persuassion. He's got a couple of boy-games to play, but also got me Lego Star Wars II cos he knows how much I love it, aww. I'm sticking with the xbox for now to finish off my Halo 2 campaign. You lose all your old games when you move to xbox 360, you see. I'm in the middle of completeing Halo 2 on Legendary so I'm not moving anywhere 'til it's done!

Sweepie also has some presents - a new Nyla bone cos I lost her other one. And her father also got her a dino-baby toy. She keeps trying to blind the dino-baby but seems to be falling in love with it. Martha destroyed her new toy within twenty-four hours and left the remains all over the bedroom floor.

New films I watched this weekend were: Lady in the Water - nice film, I don't understand why everyone hated it so much cos it was, you know, just nice. None of us could work out how it had been made into a big blockbuster film when it would have worked much better as an indie-flick, and even better than that just as a book. Superman Returns - we tried with that one but the beginning was all over the place. We gave up soon after Clarke met Lois's X-Men husband. I'm sure I'll try it again later in the week. The Queen, which was very, very good; it made me laugh a lot. And a film that didn't villainise Tony Blair! We ended the weekend with The Two Towers. Sure, I've seen it heaps of times before but Ray hasn't seen the un-edited versions so it's an excuse to watch them all again :)

Ray bought me a pretty new top, which is like the orange one I got before but a purple and pink colour instead. I told him not to buy me anything, we had a mini-argument in the middle of the shop, where I told him off for buying me things and making me feel uncomfortable, and he told me off for being so weird about money and accepting gifts from him. The top was pretty and he has a pretty face, so I relented. It's weird: if I have money I don't mind him buying me stuff. But if I don't have much money (like now) I get weird when he gets me stuff. I'm just a weirdo when it comes to money.

Time to get back to dog-walking again then...

Labels: clothes, films, martha, money, ray, rugby, sweepie, tony blair, wales, xbox, xbox 360

by Ys | COMMENTS? 1 | permalink |

Yoda has left the cage!

Yesterday morning after walking all the dogs (two trips: three naughty Pugs: two irate girls) I dismantled his recuperation cage. I washed it and put it back in the shed for when it's next needed (if Madge is pregnant then that will be the end of next month). The living-room was cleaned and Yoda was left to wander the house for the rest of the day. The cat-flap had to be locked, of course, and if anyone tried to come in or out of the backdoor I ran at them, shouting, "Yoda's out! Yoda's out! Don't open the door!" He only complained a little about the house-arrest. He hit the cat-flap, shouted at me a bit, then curled up on the sofa and went to sleep.

Yesterday, Jem and I also tried to save one of the sofa-cushions. Falls had pee'd on it, cos he's a stinking, naughty boy-dog, the night before. We didn't know how to go about cleaning a sofa-cushion so we decided a hose-pipe and some bleach might get the job done. It was clean but then it was drenched. Insane or not, once the thing had dried out a little we put it in the tumble-dryer. If the machine is broken neither one of us is going to admit to anything.

I tried lighting a fire in the garden (Mammy requested I burn some stuff). I got it to flame for all of two minutes before I put it out by shoving something on top of the flames, believing this would make it burn brighter not put it out! I was trying to prove to myself that I didn't need Ray to help me build a fire - a woman can make fire, I thought. I was wrong, it seems. It did smoke a lot, though.

When Ray got home from work we watched Notes on a Scandal. We said Jem was Barbara, only she'd be seducing young school boys ;) It was a really good film. I liked it. Only problem was the boy Cate Blanchette was having an affair with looked so very, very young that it just made you feel a bit sick. Good film, though.

Now this morning I let Yoda back out into the real world. He went skipping out happily enough. He walked up and down the drive then disappeared into the hedge. Five minutes later I saw him following his sister around the garden. Soon after that he disappeared. I haven't seen him since. Obviously I'm playing the worried-mother role right now and won't relax until he comes back in for dinner later tonight. Knowing him, though, he'll stay out for about two nights and really scare me half to death. He's so not a house-cat. These last few weeks have been awful for him. Poor bugger.

Time to walk the dogs again now then. There's so much work to do! My old folk are away in South Africa so Jem and I are running the house. The house part is easy enough; it's all the animals that are hardwork. I've got the cats - we have two housebound moggies, one being blind so there's lots of litter boxes to clean, not forgetting I had Yoda in his cage up until this morning. Jem feeds the dogs and the two rabbits. We then do the task of walking the dogs together. Falls is scared of everything and his answer to that fear is to go completely insane - cars are the worst. Then we have to take Areau and Madge on the second leg because Areau has really bad legs so can only go so far, and Madge has her breathing difficulties. What with the cleaning, as well, we're both exhausted. How the hell my mother runs around after these animals so much I'll never know - she must be nuts! I'll stick with my one dog and two cats - they're more than enough work for me.

Labels: falls, films, life, mammy, yoda

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |

We've gone a bit obsessed with renting DVD's this last week.

We started with Sunshine. I saw it when it was in the cinema but wanted to see it again now it was on DVD. It does work better on a big screen - on a TV it just loses its colour and sound. I think I enjoyed it even more this time round than the last. I know, I know, you're not going to survive long if you're not white aboard the Icarus, but racism aside it is a very good film. And I love how slutty Icarus is. Yes, there was another round of "Yes, Cappa" before and after the film was watched. Pathetic really, aren't I? My original review pretty much covered it.

Also in that review was the mention of the 28 Weeks Later. I never got round to seeing that in the cinema. So I got it out on DVD instead. It was as pants as I thought it would be. Why oh why was the American film industry allowed to get their hands on this story? It was a great little British film - it was one of those films that everyone just has to see/own. This second installment is just... lacking a soul - and a heart. The gore was good, but it was last time as well so that wasn't anything new. The only thing was is that if you're a woman during 28 Weeks Later you're going to have your violent death up there on the big screen in glorious detail - not so much if you're a man. Another film trying to subtly keep us women in our place in society? Don't even get me started on that rant! Avoid this film and just keep watching the original.

Hollywoodland was really good. It was made much like the films were back in the day. It was very, very good. I often struggled understanding The Pianists' accent but I loved it for the not-understanding. The sound was really crisp and clear. And don't worry about the fact that Ben Affleck is in it - he's actually quite good. And I liked the fact that it was never solved. All the time-jumping was good, too; it was nice to find a film that didn't assume the audience was too thick to follow. Go see it now.

Last night, we watched A Scanner Darkly. Now that was a good film. It was funny and a little bit clever and very pretty; it was dark and depressing and confusing. I really enjoyed it. I loved all the paranoia, and the twist at the end, although a little obvious, was good for the story. If you like indie-type flicks then watch it; if you find all that stuff a bit weird then give it a miss.

Next we have Lady in the Water, which several people have said isn't very good... And Notes on a Scandal, which I'm sure will be very good.

Labels: 28 Weeks Later, a scanner darkly, films, hollywoodland, Sunshine

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |

I've grown life - mwah-ha-ha-ha. No, I really have. My peas actually grew.



I may have killed the cucumber (well, I blame Ray cos he made me put Mr Cucumber outside and the outside was what killed him). The tomatoes are at death's door (three are now back in the shed, the other three are battling the outside world a bit longer). The other three peas are tangled together and haven't decided yet whether they want to continue growing or just stop where they are - dirty bastards. But the very first plant that grew has sprouted veg. I am very proud.

I picked one today to make sure the inside wasn't a hollow shell. And here's what they look like:



Not quite ready for eating but getting there. There are actual peas inside the pea pod. Oh yes, I am proud of me.

As Jemma just said when I showed her: Your now a mother to peas. And I am.

The only sad news is my Fuji A310 camera has given up the fight and is making its way to Camera Heaven. Luckily Jem's let me use her S3000 cos she has an even better camera than that (show off). I'm still sad that my baby has died. It was my first digital camera and it's been with me, documenting my life for the last eighteen months. Bye-bye A310...

Labels: camera, photos, veg

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |

A Sunday meme: Back to School

1. As a kid, how did you feel about going back to school?

My school days are split into three different stages. There's primary school (ages 4-10) where I didn't love school but I liked it enough to go happily on my way. I used to love getting all the new pens and pencils, etc. Back To School Shopping was possibily one of the best types of shopping. The second stage was comprehensive school between the age of 11 and 14 where I hated school. I moved to a new place so I had to have brand new friends. I never really clicked with anyone closely. I had plenty of friends but no one especially close. I used to dread school every single day. So Back To School meant nerves and dread. Then there was the third stage for me, which was after I'd been ill and had to move to a smaller school, when I was 14-16. The first year was a bit pants cos I was still ill and unsettled. But the last year of school was great. I used to like going back to school and seeing my friends and the teachers who I got on with as well as I got on with the kids my age.

If you go now, how do you feel about it?

I die when I walk into schools now. All the nerves come back and I just want to run away. I try not to go into schools at all if I can help it. Having to enrol my younger sister into college was the last time I was in a school-type building but thankfully it was a new building so smelt nothing like a school.

2. How do you/did you prepare for going back?

In Stage One I used to pack my school bag about a week before we were due back. I'd set out all my pens and pencils neatly in my new pencilcase. I was very neat and loved all the new stuff and couldn't wait to play with it all. In Stage Two I used to beg whoever was listening that I'd be killed before school started back. In Stage Three no preperation was ever needed, except to get my uniform washed.

3. Ever had a crush on a classmate or teacher? Who was it?

I had a couple of crushes on classmates. During Stage One I liked two boys: the new boy, Hywel, who was so funny I adored him; and his friend, Luke, was blonde and blue-eyed and my fancy of such boys started with him really. In Stage Two there was only one nice boy. He was also blonde and blue-eyed. I still talk to him now. When everyone else turned on me after I got ill he was one of the few people who was nice to me, and still is to this day. In Stage Three I got my hormones really going. I had my first boyfriend in school. Then I liked someone else who was really nothing more than a friend but I always get friendship and fancying confused.

4. What is/was your fav school subject?

English was my absolute favourite. I was always in the top set, usually doing work that was really for people a year older than me. I just found the reading easy, the work even easier than that. I just found it all so much fun.

5. What's the most embarrassing thing that happened to you in school?

Um... Well, when I was called up on fancying that last guy in school was quite embarrassing. I'd had some stupid idea to tell him I liked him and he didn't like me back. He didn't cause a fuss, which was good, but he did tell a mutual friend and when he asked me about it about a few months later I was mortified cos I'd realised by then that we'd only ever been friends anyway. I just mumbled that I'd been joking. Yeah, right. I used to hate all that standing at the front of the class and making speeches, as well. Yuk.

6. What did you like better, grade school or high school?

I'll say grade school, cos I think that coincides with my Stage One period of school.

There you go. School answers. I hate talking about school because it was one of the shittiest times I've ever been through, and it led neatly into one of the other shittier times of my life. To end I'll say that I'm glad school is completely over and done with now and would never go back to that time again. Ever.

Labels: life, meme

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |

Yesterday I went with Jemma to get her new tattoo done. It was a really fun day, despite the very early wake-up call (damn bus times!). The guys in the tattoo place were really fun and made Jem's nerves melt away. Then as she was about to go in and be zapped they told me I should go in and watch - so I did. She says it didn't hurt at all; that the sensation was quite pleasurable. Thirty minutes later this was on the back of her neck:



It was still a little red then, plus I had to use my camera-phone because my digital is playing up. It's having it's zoom error problems again, which means it needs dropping on its head, again. Anyway, the tattoo is very girlie and pretty. It's the notes to a Deftones song called "Digital Bath". I think everyone was impressed by it so that's made Jemma happy.

I almost wish I was cool/girlie enough to want a tattoo. But, alas, I'm not. I just have no desire to. I am tempted with a nose-ring, though. I have said that when/if Ray gets his nipple-ring done I'll do my nose. I'm just not cool. At twenty-four years in age I have finally come to terms with that fact ;)

We did a bit of window-shopping in the afternoon. And, while I was looking through the rows of sale items in Top Shop, my favourite glasses broke. The arm has broken off at least three times before. All I have to do is screw the little screw back in. Only problem this time was that the little screw was rolling around the floor somewhere in Top Shop. I got on the floor but couldn't find it. So it was the end of my glasses. It was very sad. I bought those glasses in Liverpool in 2004 and they've been with me ever since.

So I had to buy new ones because we were having one of those freak hot weather days. I looked around the shops but the only ones they were selling were those fake designer ones (yuk) or the huge bug-eye glasses that all the celebs now wear. Believe it or not, I wanted them glasses before they became cool but didn't buy them cos I was told they were too silly-looking. Pah! I have a pair of them now, anyway. Want a really dodgy picture of me wearing them? Here you go then:



Damn camera needs fixing! I'll go drop it now and see if it fixes it.

Labels: jem, life, photos, shopping, tattoo, weather

by Ys | COMMENTS? 1 | permalink |

I'm having a lazy day today. I slept in 'til gone eleven, didn't eat 'til after twelve and now plan on switching on the xbox and playing Halo 2 all afternoon. Sometimes you've just got to give in to your inner slob.

I almost went to see Knocked Up last night but Ray had left his bank card at home, and my money was back in the house. So we scrapped that idea and went down the pub instead.

We got some DVD's out at the weekend, though. I've watched two out of three of them so far. The first was The Quiet. Going by the cover we were all hoping for a little girl-on-girl, you know, the mild teen-American type, but it turned out their special friendship wasn't in any way sexual. It turned out it was about a daughter being abused by her father. It was an okay film. I quite liked the dark, in-your-own-head stuff. Because the lead character was not the girl being abused it wasn't as heavy as it could have been. I always seem to end up watching those type of films. Thankfully we'd got a funny one, as well, and so popped that one on. Epic Movie. Some bits were very funny but overall it was a bit of a disappointment. The last one I have to watch is Hollywoodland. Anyone seen that one? Any good?

Martha's poorly so please can you give her some love? Poor Marf.

Labels: films, life, martha

by Ys | COMMENTS? 3 | permalink |

Apparently, I've lost weight. Well, not actual pounds, I don't think, but I have lost weight off my stomach. It is now pretty much flat.

I've never been severly over-weight but I've always felt my body could stand to lose a stone - over-all, not just in one place. I was bred with a body that was made for winter nights in caves, i.e. it stores extra flesh all over. Being 5'6" that means there's plenty of storage space so it kept any overt-flabbiness to a minimum. I still wasn't happy with how I looked, though.

This isn't a sob-story, nor is it going to turn into a I Had Anoerxia Like All The Other Cool Kids. I've never had an issue with food. I eat when I'm hungry. I eat whatever I want. I have a habit of eating when I'm feeling down, which is not good; and I do get into naughty habits of eating supper, which does pile on the pounds. Other than that: I love food! That doesn't mean I liked how my body was. I don't think I know any woman who completely likes her body.

I've never lost weight, though. I was a lanky, skinny kid. I went through puberty and got a tremendous set of wide-set hips, which old men seem to really like. I got ill, I sat around getting better, got a bit depressed, and over about a three-year period I got myself that extra stone in weight. In 2004 I toned up my thighs. I've never had toned thighs before. That year I walked. All the time. It was either walk or stop and think about what was happening. What was happening was too surreal so I walked. By the end of the year I had lovely toned legs. They didn't last long. Because things settled down and I stopped walking so often.

When I got with Ray last year my weight went up and down, the way it does when you start seeing someone new. First couple of months I lost weight cos I literally forgot to eat, the next couple of months I put weight on cos I was so happy and content. Then it evened itself out again. And then this weekend, I found out that my stomach is almost completely flat. I don't know where my extra flesh went. I keep stroking my stomach (I've done it ever since my illness) and finding it isn't there anymore. This is going to sound crazy but I actually miss my stomach! Though, granted, it does look good, it just doesn't feel like it used to. I like soft stomachs with a good handful of flesh to play with.

There is no conclusion to this post. I just found it funny that I lost weight without trying, and without any real knowledge on where it's gone (usually my weight moves around to different parts of my body; it doesn't just drop off). And with it gone, as much I do like it, I also don't.

Women and weight issues. We're never happy, are we? Hehehe

Labels: life

by Ys | COMMENTS? 3 | permalink |