The Post About Hormones

It's happened. My hormones have gone into meltdown.

I've always had loopy hormones. I think that's what comes of having life-long cysts growing on your ovaries, then having said ovary taken out when your midway through puberty. It kind of sent my hormones off into a world of their own where some times I was neurotic, other times filled with such love I thought I'd burst, and other times they'd actually calm down and let me feel momentarily normal.

During the last three years or so my hormones have calmed considerably. I don't suffer from PMT and I only really get cranky if I'm tired or hungry. But of course I've now slung in my new funtastic birth control tablets (I love that phrase... birth control). And my hormones are screaming at me in protest.

Everything was absolutely fine until about 7pm last night. Ray came over and started putting the finishing touches to the new wooden-flooring in the living-room; I sat and observed on the sofa, playing the What Colour Pants Is Ray Wearing Today game. I suddenly got very tired (I had done in the afternoon, as well) and felt the need to curl up foetal-position on the sofa. Ray noticed I wasn't looking good and came over to give me a hug. He asked if I was okay and I felt the insane urge to burst into tears. Oh dear me. I don't do random bursts of tears. I cry in private not in company.

The night got steadily worse with me feeling more and more emotional. I felt suddenly stifled by Ray just by something innocent he'd said about how "when we make plans" when in my head it's me who makes plans for me - not me and him. Then he ran off to fix the toilet (it broke Tuesday night so because he couldn't the part for it Wednesday he did a quick-fix on it last night) as soon as Jem complained that it was broken, which immediately got me weepy cos I have the whole issue of Why do men always do everything for her just cos she's short and blonde whereas I'm expected to be strong and capable just cos I'm tall and brunette? Mammy knew I was upset and so spent the entire time Ray was fixing the toilet trying to keep me busy - bless.

I spent the rest of the evening nearly crying until when Ray left I went upstairs and had a good cry in the bathroom.

Today I'm not feeling quite so unhinged and out of control but I'm still not completely normal. I'm willing the hormones to calm down - fast. I have no time for silly, girlie hysterics. I know it probably doesn't help that I'm still bleeding eight days after I started the damn tablets. I googled for some info and one girl said she bled for the full three months she was taking the tablets! Sod that! I might be able to make it through one sachet of tablets before returning to the doctor but I'd be surprised if I had the patience to wait 'til then. This period has to stop now - I'm sick of it! I'm now linking my eratic behaviour to the never-ending period so I hate it even more.

At least tonight Ray doesn't have to fit any more wooden flooring so I'm going to steal him away up to my bedroom so we can actually spend some time together alone before the week is out. I feel like I haven't seen him at all this week - it's been horrible. I'm sure that hasn't helped my mood.

Urgh, being a woman is no fun at the moment. But at least my aching jaw is a lot better; and my aching neck and shoulder are also nearly completely healed. So maybe my body isn't completely packing up on me just yet.

Labels: hormones, illness, jem, mammy, ray

by Ys | COMMENTS? 2 | permalink |  








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