My Knife is Back

That's not some innuendo about my libido. My knife is actually back. A couple of months ago Ray bought me a JML knife. I know it's not the most romantic of presents but it was something I really wanted. He knows how obsessed I am with JML and their products and the fact that I cut a lot of cheese and salad and so need a good knife. He was going to engrave it and everything but never got round to that part. Well, it went missing a few days ago. I looked everywhere for it but couldn't find it and was really upset. Then I just went to cut a roll and there in the drawer was my knife! I don't know where it had been but it's back now and I am really, sadly, very happy :)

I'm not sure if you noticed but I got my first hate comment yesterday. It was on the previous day's post and it was from my little sister. Yes, my first hate comment came from my baby sister. Says a lot for the type of person I am, huh? Hehehe, no, no I'm not a horrid person - honest. I'm not really sure what I said wrong. I'm not even sure if it was what I said that pissed her off anyway. Sometimes I wonder if she just gets pissed at me cos I'm not as devoted to her as I used to be. Not to get into the dynamics of the past or anything, but there was a good five year period where she was my only thought and I pretty much treated her as if she was my own daughter. That of course got me into trouble with the rest of the family when suddenly parenting became the in thing again but I didn't care really. Sounds soppy but she was worth the hassle. I know we'll always, always have a different relationship to most sisters but for the past year things have gone sour. This time last year she had me not sleeping cos she just completely turned against me and was quite calculated in her bullying - I'm not sure if that's the right word but it was something like that. I ended up having two panic attacks in the space of about an hour and so called things to a head. We talked, got it sorted and I thought everything would be okay. But when I started dating Ray she turned on me a bit again. Looking at it objectively, I guess I could say that she's upset that Ray's my main priority now. But the only problem with that is she didn't seem to even want my attention before he came along anyway. Ahh, I don't even know. Maybe it has nothing whatsoever to do with that and I just simply annoy the crap out of her! I should probably just talk to her but I hate confrontations and I just know I'd either end up pissing her off even more or else upsetting Mammy or Daddy in some way. Why are family's so messed up? They're meant to be the easy side of relationships, aren't they?

Actually, I'm going to talk to her now. I'm an adult and can cope with confrontations now, right? Right.

Edit: A hug later and everything is fine. Lovely. I can go to Pizza Hut tonight without worrying about it :)

Labels: family, jml

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